


For Those Who Love To Live

by real_live_angelface



Series: Bunny/Stevie [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: (Nonbinary didn't exist as a term in 1990), AFAB Stucky, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Coming Out, Cops Mentioned but No Interaction, Everyone is Queer!!! :))), Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, First Time, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by Music, Leaving Home, Loosely based on the movie "Say Anything", Mixtapes i.e. Playlists, Nonbinary-implied Disaster Lesbians, One Mention of Period-related Shame, Other, Period Typical Attitudes, References to Drugs, Rock and Roll, The year is 1990, being outed, everyone is 18 or older, no slurs, recreational drug and alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26935141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/real_live_angelface/pseuds/real_live_angelface
Summary: A noble underachiever and a beautiful valedictorian fall in love the summer after their high school graduation.A femme/nonbinary slash AU loosely based on the movie "Say Anything."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Riley/Sam Wilson, Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, Stephanie Greta "Stevie" Rogers/Jamie Berenice "Bunny" Barnes
Series: Bunny/Stevie [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051379
Comments: 38
Kudos: 30
Collections: Not Another Stucky Big Bang 2020





	1. Cover Art: For Those Who Love To Live (Thin Lizzy)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for (Not) Another Stucky Big Bang 2020! 
> 
> Posting Schedule: Posting every Saturday from October 17th thru November 7th.
> 
> Thank you 3000 to all the NASBB mods for doing such an amazing job organizing this event despite the ever-swirling chaos!
> 
> Thank you 3000 to [brideofquiet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brideofquiet) for choosing to lend your talents to this story. You have brought this story to life with beautiful banners and an incredible [PODFIC](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062653/)!!! I encourage readers to check out the art here and then go have a listen!
> 
> Thank you 3000 to my beta, [cranberry_bar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cranberry_bar). Your input was invaluable. I could not have finished this story without you.
> 
> A playlist of songs that inspired the fic and chapter titles is available on Spotify: [For Those Who Love To Live](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0v5xhB374ohxsopnzgWhx5?si=87Q-hw6nSqa7ugsNo4AxaA).


	2. Crimson and Clover (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts)

Stevie scanned the room, bored out of her mind. She stood almost a head taller than some of these kids. It was hard to believe they were the same age. The music was terrible, some Top 40s shit. The beer was worse. Probably Natty Ice or something. Figured Tony Stark would be cheap about it. She wouldn’t have even come to this stupid graduation party if Sam hadn’t begged her to show her face. It was probably the last time they’d be in one room together, he’d said. It’s important to celebrate a milestone like graduating from high school, he’d said.

The trouble was, Stevie had barely graduated. If Coach hadn’t pulled some strings with the principal, she was sure she would’ve been held back. She loved learning, but not when it was part of a bullshit school system that only focused on certain topics and ignored others. And then there was soccer, the extracurricular activity from hell. And the fact that she had been sharing breadwinning duties with her mom since she was fourteen. It was pretty hard to keep up with school when soccer and work always seemed so much more important. Not that it mattered much, anyway. There was nothing to look forward to now except for going full-time at the warehouse.

Stevie drained the last bit of beer in her cup and crushed the plastic in one fist, tossing it onto an antique coffee table that probably cost the equivalent of six months of rent. It was littered with trash, cheese puffs and Doritos spilling out of their bags and melting into mush in beer-soaked puddles. The sight of that set her teeth on edge, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. All around her was waste. There was an entire buffet table of food lying forgotten against one wall. There were all these drunk kids trying to get their last summer flings in before going off to college. And what did she have? A solid D-average and the same job she’d had since she was fourteen. And she had an early shift tomorrow. Time to bounce.

She spotted Sam talking to Tony Stark and that valedictorian kid, Bunny Barnes. Stevie had talked to Stark enough to know she didn’t like him, and it was clear the feeling was mutual. But she hadn’t really talked to Barnes much at all. There wasn’t much crossover between the Honors classes and the Career Prep classes.

“Aw, come on, Tony,” Bunny Barnes was saying. “I have nothing against Bon Jovi. He writes some sick hooks. I’m just old school. Plus, I can’t be blowing all my money on tickets to concerts this summer. I’m saving up to go to the record show in August. I’ve been trying to track down this one UFO album for ages.”

Stevie’s heart jumped at that. She’d never actually met anyone else who listened to UFO.

“You and your dad music,” Tony said, shaking his head.

Bunny sucked in a shocked breath. “UFO is _not_ dad music, Tony.”

“Look, you can still listen to it even if it’s dad music,” Sam said.

“Rush,” Bunny said. “Cheap Trick. Thin Lizzy. Heart, for fuck’s sake! Are you telling me Heart is dad music?”

Stevie was practically melting into the floor now, struck by a dizzying realization. Maybe there was more to this Barnes kid than she’d thought. The kid had been dressing like some kind of rocker since ninth grade, sure. Even tonight she was wearing that old denim vest she wore all the time, with the Girlschool back patch sewn on the back with purple thread. But Stevie had always figured she listened to newer shit just like everyone else did.

“Pretty much all dad music,” Tony said.

Stevie almost managed to sneak away before Tony noticed her.

“Hey, Long Tall Captain,” he called out. That was Stevie’s soccer nickname. She hated it, and worse, she hated that Tony had somehow gotten wind of it. “Come on, I need your input on this.”

“Why?” Stevie asked, under her breath. When did anyone ever give a shit about what she thought? Much less Bunny fucking Barnes the cute and super-smart valedictorian? And fuck, Bunny was meeting her eyes and grinning, and Stevie really was a sucker for brunettes. Tony raised an eyebrow. Sam looked amused. And Bunny was still smiling, all easy and relaxed. Her long hair was perfectly straight, with a thick fringe that just brushed the tops of her eyebrows. That swoopy thing she did at the corners of her eyes with the purple eyeliner looked really fucking epic. Better than Stevie would be able to manage, probably, if she ever got around to trying makeup. Fuck that kid.

“Well? Is UFO dad music or not?” Tony prompted.

“Um,” Stevie said. “No comment.”

It was a little complicated, since the only reason Stevie listened to any of those older groups was precisely because of her dad, who had left her a humongous record collection when he passed. Which probably meant UFO _was_ dad music. But there was no way she was going to side with Tony Asshole Stark on this. Especially not while Bunny Barnes was smiling at her like that. She was pretty sure no one had ever smiled at her like that before, but that was probably how Bunny looked at everyone.

“Eh, she probably doesn’t even know who that is,” Tony said.

“Shut the fuck up, Stark,” Stevie said, flushing. She stepped forward to tower over him. “What do you know about my music tastes, huh?”

“Wow,” Tony scoffed. “What’s your damage, Rogers?”

“Fuck you,” Stevie said. She was aware that she was being incredibly aggressive for practically no reason, but then again, that was her default. It just never felt like there was any point to being patient with clueless spoiled brats like Tony Stark.

“Did I even invite you to my party?” Tony asked, blinking up at her thoughtfully. “I don’t think I did.”

“I invited her, Tony,” Sam said, sighing. “Stevie, can you chill? He didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Whatever,” Stevie said, turning away, biting her tongue to keep herself from cursing Tony out again.

“Wait,” Bunny said, as Stevie made to push her way to the front door. “Do you listen to UFO or not?”

Stevie turned to size her up, glaring, but Bunny’s face showed nothing but genuine curiosity.

“Yeah,” she grunted. “I do. And Deep Purple. Cheap Trick. Alice Cooper. Heart. You name it. Seventies rock is my jam.”

Bunny’s eyes widened, almost comically. “Holy shit, me too! That rules!”

“Um, I’m gonna go over there,” Sam said, pointing off in a vague direction and meeting Stevie’s eyes with a knowing smirk.

“Uh, me too,” Tony said, but he just looked bored and annoyed.

And Stevie was just waiting impatiently for this stupid conversation to end so that Bunny would turn her full attention back, because it felt glorious.

“You want another drink?” Bunny asked, after Sam and Tony had melted off into the crowd. “I know where Tony keeps his good stash.”

“Okay,” Stevie said, following her into a huge kitchen. Bunny opened one of the cabinet doors on the kitchen island, unearthing a bottle of really nice-looking bourbon – Old Fitzgerald, a brand Stevie had never heard of before and probably wouldn’t ever see again.

“This okay?” she asked.

“Sure.” That looked to be way better whiskey than what the guys drank after work at the warehouse. Sometimes they let Stevie have a swig from the bottle, too. She figured if she could handle that shit, she could handle anything.

“On the rocks?” Bunny asked, turning to the massive double-door fridge and digging out some ice when Stevie nodded.

“What UFO album are you looking for?” Stevie asked, as Bunny handed her the drink.

Bunny smiled again. “It’s called ‘Phenomenon.’ It’s got a weird picture of a house on the front.”

Stevie took a healthy swallow of whiskey. The burn eased through her, warming her, the novelty of talking to Bunny Barnes melting down to a sort of buzzing acceptance of this new reality.

“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t know a ton about UFO, but I’ve got that record. And ‘Obsession.’”

“Really?” Bunny almost dropped her plastic cup. “How the hell did you get your hands on those? Every time I find one of their records it’s always too damn expensive.”

“My dad,” Stevie said, surprising herself. She never talked about her dad to anyone. “He left me a huge collection when he died. Mostly 70s rock, but some soul and blues, too.”

“Oh,” Bunny said, her face contorting, clearly struggling between showing sympathy and excitement at the same time. The sympathy finally won through. “I’m...I’m sorry about your dad.”

“Yeah, shit happens,” Stevie said.

Bunny looked a little bit taken aback at that.

Stevie winced inwardly. Here she was ruining a good conversation with expert-level cynicism, as usual. She steeled herself for whatever excuse Bunny would make to get out of talking to her.

“Huh,” Bunny said, sliding closer, leaning against the kitchen island. “So you didn’t sell me out to Stark.”

“What?” Stevie asked.

“You didn’t mention your record collection,” Bunny said, grinning. “Because that’s definitive proof that we listen to dad music.”

* * *

Bunny felt like she was on cloud fucking nine. This was the best party she’d ever been to! She and Stevie had been talking in the kitchen for hours! There was so much they had in common! How were they just figuring that out now?!?!

Granted, they both were probably too drunk. But still, even while drunk it’s hard to hold a conversation this long with anyone unless there’s some real substance to it.

They talked about music for a really long time. Then they talked about movies, but in a good way. Like about how hilariously stupid _Total Recall_ ’s portrayal of space travel had been, but that’s what made it so good, too. Just now, they had somehow stumbled onto talking about Stevie’s high school soccer career. And Stevie had surprised the hell out of her by mentioning that she’d read Foucault’s _Discipline and Punish_.

Stevie leaned back against the counter, propping herself up on her elbows. Now that she wasn’t carrying herself with her usual low-key animosity, Bunny realized Stevie wasn’t that much taller than her. But she was definitely a lot bigger. Her lanky blond hair was cropped short, long bangs flopping over her forehead, framing the soft angles of her face, her inquisitive blue eyes, that semi-beaky nose that looked like it might have been broken a few times. Her mouth – well, Bunny was trying really hard not to look at Stevie’s mouth. Same with her chest, which was especially hard to ignore right now, with Stevie leaning back like that. Her shoulders, though. They definitely looked strong.

“I’m so jealous,” Bunny said. “Which class did you read Foucault for? Why the hell wasn’t I in that class?”

Stevie scoffed. “Dude, that wasn’t in school. I stumbled across it at the library.”

“The library?” Bunny asked, trying her best not to sound too incredulous. But honestly, she’d never expected to hear that Stevie Rogers liked to go to the library.

“Yeah,” Stevie said. “I read books.”

“I didn’t mean to imply–”

“Relax,” Stevie said. “I was kidding.”

“I read parts of _Discipline and Punish_ on my own, too,” Bunny said. “I was doing some research on sexuality and got distracted. What did you think of it?”

Stevie swirled the whiskey ice in her plastic cup, looking down a moment.

“Well,” she said. “I’m not sure I understood most of it, but the parts I did understand I thought were pretty dope. Especially the section about docile bodies. Did you read that part?”

“I don’t think so,” Bunny said. “Remind me what it was about?”

“It was about how institutions create structures to manipulate and subjugate people’s bodies in order to gain more power or whatever.”

“Whoa,” Bunny said, hardly daring to believe the words coming out of Stevie’s mouth right now. Who was this fucking person??? She was sure that if spontaneous combustion was real, she would be doing it. How the hell hadn’t she ever gotten around to talking to Stevie Rogers before??!! She was so smart and so sexy!! High school had been fine, even good, at times. But it would have been the best thing ever if she had spent it with Stevie!!!

“Yeah, it creeped me out big time when I realized I have a docile body, too,” Stevie continued.

“Wait, why?”

“Because of training for soccer for so long. I’m basically a well-oiled machine now, shaped toward the one purpose of scoring goals for my high school soccer team. Isn’t that weird?”

“Wow,” Bunny said, wondering if she was like that, too. “Yeah. That’s...whoa. That’s heavy.”

“It isn’t all my fault, though,” Stevie said. “I’ve always been a big, overgrown kid. Coach Fury headhunted me in freaking elementary school. Back then, I thought soccer was the coolest fucking thing. It was awesome to be allowed to be aggressive and competitive. But I didn’t realize I’d get locked in for the rest of school. And then there was my knee injury. And the concussions.”

“Yikes,” Bunny said.

“Yeah, well,” Stevie said. “It’s over now, anyway.”

Bunny frowned. “But I heard you got some soccer scholarship.”

“Yeah,” Stevie said, a dark shadow crossing her face.

Some instinct in Bunny’s alcohol-addled brain warned her to not ask about that just now.

Stevie tilted her head, looking over at Bunny.

“You know what I like about you?” she asked.

 _Please say everything_ , Bunny thought, then realized a second later that she had actually said that out loud.

Stevie raised her eyebrows, smirking. “I was gonna say that you’re the best kind of nerd.”

Bunny could barely breathe. Stevie was totally into her, wasn’t she? From the first moment their eyes had locked, Bunny had felt it. But she had been sober and cautious then, and now, well. Now the sky was the limit. Anything could happen! Anything! She was ready and willing.

“But yeah, everything, too,” Stevie said, turning to face her. She dropped her plastic cup on the kitchen island, and then Bunny dropped hers, too. They stared at each other a moment longer, and then Bunny couldn’t take it anymore. She lunged forward, right into Stevie’s arms.

Her mouth! She was kissing Stevie Rogers on the mouth!!! It was so soft! She was a good kisser! Fuck! Of course she was!

Time became meaningless. It was just Stevie’s mouth against hers, their hot panting breaths, teeth nipping, Stevie’s hands sliding hard up her sides, thumbs catching under the curves of her chest. People moved in and out of the kitchen, but Bunny barely registered them. At some point, Tony walked past to get something out of the fridge, his expression incredulous and maybe even the slightest bit scandalized.

But nothing mattered except for how Stevie tasted. And oh! Stevie was kissing her neck now, sucking at her pulse point. She grabbed Bunny’s hips and pressed her back against the island. Bunny widened her stance and Stevie was right there with her, pressing one strong thigh up between her legs and it felt so. goddamn. good. She lifted a hand to Stevie’s chest, and Stevie sighed into her mouth. Bunny wanted to get her up on the counter right then and there...

“Oh, hell no,” a familiar voice said. Bunny’s best friend Natasha. She pushed Stevie out of the way and dragged Bunny out of her arms. “Get it together, Barnes. You can’t be doing this here.”

“Nat!” Bunny wailed, dizzy with lust and drunkenness. “Did I come interrupt you when you were making out with Sharon?”

“No, cuz we were doing that in the privacy of an upstairs bedroom, dumbass,” Natasha said.

Bunny felt her heart drop into her stomach, remembering all the overheard giggles and whispers she had managed to ignore before. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said. “You realize everyone saw you? Everyone?”

Bunny met Stevie’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Stevie said, her voice shaky. “I didn’t think about that.”

“No duh,” Natasha said. “You have nothing to lose. But Bunny does, so stay away from her, you hear?”

“What?” Bunny asked, shocked by the aggression in her voice. Stevie, much to her dismay, looked absolutely crushed.

“Come on, we’re going home,” she said, pulling Bunny toward the front hall.

Bunny twisted around to look back, but Stevie had already turned away, head propped in her hands as she leaned against the kitchen island.


	3. Stranger Eyes (The Cars)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: Click link to jump to endnote

Now that it was summer, Bunny worked most days in her dad’s garage. It was a pretty sweet set-up, considering that her commute consisted of walking out her front door and around the corner. She’d started in the office, of course, because Dad was that kind of old-fashioned. Soon enough, though, she’d worked her way into being a mechanic, and had even collected her own small list of regulars – mostly acquaintances from school who brought their own cars or their family’s station wagon.

She was in the middle of updating Maria Hill’s service records when her dad poked his head into the office, a strange look in his eyes.

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

He cleared his throat. “We need to talk. At the house.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“Dad, it’s the middle of the work day.”

“I said now,” he said, his tone shocking her to stillness.

Bunny sighed, trying her best to muster up some indignation, but really she felt like she might be shitting a brick. Her dad was pretty laid back most of the time, so this was bound to be pretty serious.

Once they were back at the house, Bunny tried her best not to fidget on the couch in the living room, watching her dad pace back and forth in front of her.

“You know who came into the shop first thing today?” he asked, stopping abruptly in front of her. “You remember Alexander Pierce? Brock’s stepdad?”

“Yeah,” Bunny said, wondering why the fuck that mattered. Brock was a dick.

Oh. _Brock was a dick._

“You know what he said to me?”

Bunny didn’t want to know.

“He said he’s sorry my kid’s a...shit, I can’t even say it. He said it must be so embarrassing to know she’d been flaunting it at parties. Making it with other girls in front of everyone. He said it’s a real shame.”

Bunny slumped back, reaching for a dusty throw pillow, clutching it tight as if it could shield her somehow. She could feel her dad’s eyes on her face, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze.

“Is it true?” he asked.

There had been a time she hadn’t been sure. Or maybe she had been scared to face it. She’d tried messing around with a couple of different guys, but only at parties. Then she met Nat, and that had made all the difference. Even so, she hadn’t planned on announcing it or anything.

Now, with her dad looking at her like that, she realized she had to tell the truth. A lot of people didn’t have the luxury to hide their true selves. And a lot of people were dying, every day, in an epidemic that no one seemed to want to talk about. She couldn’t lie. She just couldn’t.

“Yeah, Dad,” she said, lifting her head.

He blinked back at her. “All of it?”

Bunny flushed. “Well, I only made out with _one_ person at _one_ party, Dad. Brock embellished the story because he’s a piece of shit.”

“Watch your language.”

“Hello, Dad, I’m eighteen years old,” Bunny said, tossing the pillow aside and standing up. “I know all the bad words now. And no, it wasn’t because some guy taught them to me.”

“You watch your attitude.”

“Dad, Brock made it sound worse than it is, because he’s a...a jerk, okay? Don’t you realize how messed up it is to get outed like this?”

“Well, you should have thought of that before deciding to get involved with some girl in the middle of a party.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.”

“Since when have you been religious?”

“It’s just not polite.”

“Okay, well, it was a prayer, anyway,” Bunny ground out. “Cuz I need all the help I can get right now, and I can guarantee you that Jesus loves queers. He loves everybody.”

Now it was her dad’s turn to take the Lord’s name in vain, like a hypocrite. Bunny wanted to leave, but she could feel that this wasn’t over yet.

“What would your mother think?” he asked.

That was a low fucking blow, and Bunny couldn’t help clenching her fists at that. Something told her that Mom probably would have been on her side. She didn’t really want to imagine it any other way.

“Was it that friend of yours?” he asked. “Natasha?”

“What? No. It was someone else.”

“Were you drunk?”

“Well, yeah,” Bunny said. “That’s the point of a party, isn’t it?”

“So that’s why it happened,” her dad concluded, relief flashing over his face.

“ _No_ , Dad,” Bunny said. “It happened because I’m a _lesbian_.”

He looked _extremely_ uncomfortable now. Good.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never made out with anyone in public before,” she said. “What about you and Mom? You had to have made out at a party at least once. I mean, it was the sixties!”

“Bunny, please.”

“Did Brock’s stepdad tell you that there were straight people making out all over the place, too?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“No, that’s exactly the point,” Bunny said. “If they get to do that, then why should it be any different for me, huh?”

“Jamie Berenice,” he snapped, and Bunny’s mouth snapped shut, too. He passed a hand over his eyes, grimacing. “You’ve got to understand where I’m coming from, kid. There’s that gay epidemic raging out there and you were swapping spit with a lesbian.”

Bunny’s entire body flushed with ice. God, he was so ignorant. The realization settled heavy around her, even though she really shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Do you even know anything about AIDS?” she asked, through gritted teeth. “Like, real medical information? Or do you just rely on your AM radio to keep you updated?”

“I’ve read articles.”

“Oh sure, in that rag you call a newspaper.”

“I’m just worried about you, Bun.”

She stared at him, almost fascinated by how much of a caricature he had become. His stupid pseudo-military haircut. Those thick, out-dated glasses that made him look like a puritanical bug, eyes magnified with misplaced concern. If he was the kind of person who wore pearls, he would be clutching at them so hard right now the damn necklace would probably fucking break.

How could someone like him ever come to understand someone like her?

She brushed at the tears prickling in the corners of her eyes, shrinking away when he reached out and tried to pull her into a hug.

“Just leave me alone, Dad,” she said. “If you really want to help me, stop listening to those horrible talk shows and go read a book about gay rights.”

* * *

Stevie hovered at the entrance to the grocery store, working herself up to go inside. Ever since that party at Stark’s, the world had turned into an inhospitable place. Especially since she wasn’t the star soccer player, anymore. Now she was just that big, dumb lesbian who had graduated from high school with no prospects.

It was the middle of the day on a Saturday, though, which probably meant nobody was here. Or, at least, nobody she had gone to school with. The big double doors slid open with a whoosh of air-conditioned air, startling her, but it was just an old guy carrying a case of Michelob.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself, and stepped up to the entrance.

Saturday afternoon was definitely a good time to shop, and Stevie had foolishly succumbed to a false sense of security by the time she’d reached the bottom of her grocery list, not even bothering to look before she turned the corner into the frozen aisle.

“Look out,” a familiar voice said. “Lesbo alert.”

Stevie froze in her tracks, staring at Anna Zola and a few other people she had played soccer with. They turned to glare at her in unison. Even Kara, who Stevie was sure was a lesbian, too, was giving her a disgusted look.

“Stop ogling me, pervert,” Jacinda said.

Stevie curled her lip. “Don’t flatter yourself, Sitwell.”

Johanna crossed her arms pointedly in front of her chest.

“There’s a reason I always avoided taking a shower around her,” she said, popping her gum. “Did I ever tell you about that time I caught her touching herself?”

Stevie could feel her face flushing hot, the moment coming back with devastating clarity. Yes, she had been touching herself in the showers, but not in the way Johanna meant. It had been the first time she had tried wearing a tampon. In a moment of panic, she thought it had gotten lost inside of her during practice, so she’d reached down and felt for the string. The moment itself couldn’t have lasted more than ten seconds, but at the end of it she had lifted her eyes and caught Johanna staring at her. She had been too mortified to explain herself, and had only gotten over it by convincing herself that Johanna had forgotten about it.

“I wasn’t touching myself,” she said, keenly aware that her usual aggressive armor was failing her. These were the kids she had spent hundreds of hours with: at school, during practice, at games, on the road. Some of them she had even counted as friends, or as close she could get with anyone other than Sam. And now they were looking at her as if she was nothing.

“Gosh, I wonder what all of her ex-boyfriends are thinking right now,” Anna said, with mock chagrin.

“Maybe she turned them all gay, too,” Jacinda said. “Like poor Bunny.”

Kara laughed along with the rest of them, but it came out a bit too loud.

“Oh my God, don’t let Brock hear that,” Johanna said, giggling. “He’d flip his lid.”

“Hey,” a voice called out. “Long Tall Captain.”

Stevie turned to see Tony Stark heading her way. He was dressed in skinny oval sunglasses with garish red lenses and an oversized Mötley Crüe t-shirt. His hair was sticking up all over his head.

“Stark,” Stevie said, her hackles rising.

He came to a stop next to her. “Are they giving you a hard time?”

Stevie blinked. “What?”

Without skipping a beat, he looked over at the group.

“Scram, before I ask Jarvis to dig up every sordid little detail about your private lives and have it printed as an exposé in the paper.”

Johanna scoffed. “You’ve got nothing on me, Stark.”

“And you’ve still got some snow on your nose, Schmidt,” he said, clicking his tongue in sympathy.

Stevie’s mouth dropped open. Surely Tony was kidding. But Johanna was flushing now, hands shooting up to rub at her nose. She backed away, the others turning to gape at her. Well, almost all of them. Anna didn’t seem surprised in the slightest, just awfully worried.

“Okay, okay, Stark, chill,” she said, raising her hands in surrender. “We’re leaving.”

Kara flinched as Tony pointed at her. Stevie was scared he was about to out her, but he just shook his head in disappointment.

“Let’s go,” Kara said, her eyes flicking over to Stevie and then away a split second later, as if she couldn’t bear to actually look at her.

“Are we not getting ice cream, then?” Jacinda asked, but the rest of the group had already abandoned her. “Hah,” she said, flinging open the freezer door and grabbing a carton of Neapolitan. “I finally get to pick the flavor.” She gave Tony one more nervous glance before scooting out of the aisle.

“You know I don’t care, right?” Tony asked, looking up at Stevie as if they’d been friends for years. “Whatever floats your boat.”

“I had them on the ropes, Stark,” she said.

“Yeah, sure. You wanna come over and get high with me?”

“Um, I’ve got to get these groceries home.” Stevie hefted up the overflowing shopping basket she’d been shifting from hand to hand.

“I like guys, too, you know.” Tony wandered off to peer at the frozen pizza selection. “I mean, I’m bi. So we’re on the same team. Kind of. I get what you see in Bunny. But I guess that wouldn’t be surprising, since I’m a dude and she’s hot as hell and compulsory heterosexuality is a thing.”

Stevie stared at his back.

“But even if I was a lesbian,” Tony continued. “I’d still think Bunny was cute. I tried to ask her out once, but Nat had already enlightened her as to the joys of reading Sappho.”

Stevie’s heart shuddered to a halt. Or rather, it felt like that’s what was happening. She swallowed hard, trying her best to marshal her thoughts into a logical pattern of words.

“She and Nat are dating?”

“What?” Tony asked, emerging from the freezer with an armful of Ellio’s pizzas. He took one look at her face and wrinkled his nose. “Dude, chill. They were just friends with bennies — benefits, not drugs.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, we have to go to the chip aisle,” Tony said. “I’m pretty sure Bunny likes you. Not that many people catch her attention for real, you know? She doesn’t even drink, usually, but I guess she wanted some liquid courage.”

“Tony—” Stevie tried again to interject as she trailed him toward the snacks aisle.

“You’re kind of imposing, to be honest. It’s that expression you always have on your face, like you barely need any excuse to kick the world’s ass.”

“Tony!” Stevie repeated. She ignored the various shoppers who were turning to stare at both of them.

“Huh?”

Stevie stepped closer. “She likes me?”

“Not the brightest crayon in the box, are you, Rogers?”

“We literally had that one night at your party, Tony,” Stevie said. “And then Natasha dragged her off, and I haven’t heard from her since. What was I supposed to think?”

“Pizza plus Doritos plus _Tron_ multiplied by the dankest weed equals the best formula to soothe your angst-riddled soul. We can drop your groceries off at your house on the way.” He tried to stuff two huge bags of Doritos on top of all the other groceries that Stevie had piled into her shopping basket.

“No,” Stevie said, moving the basket out of reach, leaving Tony to juggle his five boxes of Ellio’s plus the Doritos. “We’re not friends, Stark. Even if you suddenly decided that we are. I don’t like you. And I was pretty sure until now that the feelings were mutual.”

“What?” Tony asked, raising his eyebrows. “I totally don’t not like you.”

“Oh yeah?” Stevie asked, “Then how come you’re always a dick to me? I mean, until now?”

Tony somehow managed to put a hand up to stop a store employee from approaching them.

“We’ll be wrapping this up in a minute,” he said. “And I’m Tony Stark, by the way. Of Stark Industries? You might have heard that name before?”

“Right,” the employee said, backing off immediately.

“See, you’re a dick,” Stevie said.

“Yeah, so what if I am?” Tony asked, dropping one of the pizza boxes. “So are you. We should hang out and be dicks together.”

Stevie couldn’t help laughing a little bit at that.

“Look, I’ll level with you,” Tony said. “I always found you to be eminently cool. I sorta had a crush on you half the time, and the rest of the time I was jealous of you. And I’m a guy, so that means I acted like a dick to cover for the fact that you made me feel things.”

“You’re such a fucking weirdo, Stark,” Stevie said, totally embarrassed, though she might have been a little pleased, too. She was only human, after all. She picked up the errant pizza box and put it in her shopping basket.

“Don’t I know it,” he said, handing her the Doritos bags. “Now will you come hang out with me, please? I’m bored and no one else is around. And Rhodey didn’t come back for summer break this year. You remember him, right? Graduated in 1988? And Nat and Sharon are too busy sucking face. And Bunny and Sam are working.”

“Wait, are Nat and Sharon dating? Is it, like, exclusive? Or do you think maybe Nat and Bunny still...you know.”

Tony snorted. “One track mind much?”

“I just...I need to know for sure,” Stevie said, feeling silly, but also, this was Very Important.

“I’ll tell you everything I know if you come hang out with me.”

“Oh my God, fine,” Stevie said. She might actually die if she had to feel any more pity for this poor little rich kid.

“Wow, you really like Bunny, don’t you?” Tony asked, lifting an eyebrow. “That’s kinda cute. And pathetic.”

“Tell me, did you have to buy _all_ of your friends?”

“Hardy-har-har. I’ll have you know that Rhodey is completely incorruptible. And Sam and I literally bonded over the trials and tribulations of customer service. But yeah” — he winked at her through one red-tinted lens — “that’s pretty much the case for everyone else. Though you should know you’re my cheapest friend, by far.”

“Gee, thanks,” Stevie said, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
>  _CW: Bullying, Period-typical Attitudes, One Mention of Period-related Shame, References to Drugs_


	4. True Colors (Cyndi Lauper)

“Hey,” Sharon Carter said, pulling open the glass door to the little office at Bunny’s dad’s garage and walking up to the service counter. She was wearing gold-rimmed aviators and her nose was kind of sunburned.

Bunny smiled. “Hey, Sharon, what’s up?”

“Nat said I had to come and kidnap you.” She tossed her blond hair as she pulled her sunglasses off.

“Wait, what?”

“She’s holding down a good spot at the park. Right by that big ring of beeches, you know? You were supposed to meet us there like an hour ago.”

Bunny blinked.

“It’s Shakespeare in the Park,” Sharon said. “ _Twelfth Night_ , remember?”

“Oh my God,” Bunny said. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot.”

“Obviously.”

“Viola’s my secret lover, you know.”

Sharon grinned. “She has bad taste, then.”

“Hey!”

“Come on, we have to swing by the store and get snacks.”

“Sorry,” Bunny said, closing up the binder with her service records in it and shoving it back on the bookshelf behind her. “That was on me, too, wasn’t it? I’ve just had a lot on my mind...”

“Hmm, I’ll bet you do.”

“Shut up.”

Sharon laughed. “I mean, it sounded like you and Stevie hit it off really well.”

“Ugh.” Bunny buried her face in her hands. “I’m such an idiot. You know my dad found out? He totally lost his shit.”

“Oof. I’m sorry,” Sharon said. “The rumor mill is particularly vicious this summer.”

“Fucking Brock Rumlow.”

“Really?” Sharon asked, narrowing her eyes. “I hate that guy. The next time I see him, I’m gonna kick his ass.”

Bunny snorted, walking around to lock the office door. “Wow, like, there’s no need for that.”

“Oh, don’t take it too personally,” Sharon said, smiling dangerously. “I’ve been waiting for an excuse for awhile.”

“Fair enough,” Bunny said, edging her towards the garage door. “Let’s go out this way.” She paused to take a steadying breath before opening it. “Hey, Dad! I’m heading out for the day, okay?”

Her dad was standing in the far corner of the garage, whispering furiously with a couple of the guys. Of course, it was the old guard — the dudes who _still_ liked to rag on her for working in the shop, and who Bunny knew her dad counted on to reflect his own conservative beliefs. At the sound of her voice, he looked over, his face a mess of anger and disappointment.

Bunny gritted her teeth. “I’m gonna go be a lesbian with my friends at the park now,” she called out. “Don’t wait up for me.”

Sharon let out a shocked laugh. “Damn, dude. What’s that about?”

“I’m trying to desensitize him,” Bunny said, shrugging.

“It doesn’t look like it’s working much,” Sharon said, peering over her shoulder. She waved and flashed Bunny’s dad a big grin.

“See you later, Mr. Barnes!”

He paid her no mind, glaring daggers at Bunny, instead. She glared back for a moment longer before stepping out onto the street, to where Sharon’s old Plymouth was parked along the curb.

* * *

Stevie had just gotten home from work when the phone rang. Figures it had started to rain buckets on the way home, so she had a moment of indecision between answering the phone or grabbing a towel first. In the end, she took the call, in case it was her mom calling from school. But no, it was Sam.

“Hey, Stevie, how’s it going?”

“Fine,” she said automatically, squirming a little as a big cold drop ran down her neck.

“Hmmm,” Sam said. “Are people giving you shit about that whole thing with Bunny?”

“Yeah, a bit.”

“You know I got your back, right?” Sam asked.

“I can handle it. It’s just people showing their true colors.”

“Aw, I love that song.”

Stevie snorted. “Yeah, well. You know I meant that in a bad way.” She could hear the sound of Pac-Man dying in the background. “You calling me from work again?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, laughing.

“Did that cute guy come in yet? What was his name again? Riley or something?” She was talking about the guy who had recently started to come into the arcade whenever Sam was working. He’d blast through a bunch of games to get a shitload of tickets and then spend the rest of the evening loitering at the counter, flirting up a storm while deliberating over which prizes to take home.

“How the fuck do you know about that?” Sam asked.

“Tony Asshole Stark.”

“Tony? Since when do you talk to Tony?”

“It’s a long story. He kinda rescued me at the grocery store.”

“He what?!”

“Yeah...and then I went to hang out at his house and he talked my ear off about practically everything including your crush from work. Which you never told me about. Even though we’re _best friends_.”

“Because he’s _not my crush_ ,” Sam said.

Stevie grinned. “That’s not what Tony said. He said he’s seen you run people off easy, but this guy somehow manages to hang around for hours and hours.”

“He’s not even cute, Stevie. He’s annoying. Tony just has no taste.”

“Hmmm.”

“Shut up. I have better things to do with my time than try to date random customers, thank you. Like, I finally figured out what I want for Starla’s character design.”

“Really?” Stevie asked. She and Sam had both been so busy lately, they’d hardly had time to talk about their current project. “What are you thinking?”

They were currently collaborating on an original post-apocalyptic comic, and Starla was the main character. They had become a team pretty much since their first meeting in study hall in ninth grade. Sam had been writing feverishly in a notebook, and Stevie had asked him what he was working on. At the time, he’d been working on some _Black Panther_ fan fiction, and he didn’t have that many friends that were into writing that kind of stuff. Stevie herself had been secretly drawing _X-Men_ fanart for years. It had taken her a little while to work up the courage to ask Sam if he was looking for an artist to do illustrations for his story, but once they had started working together, there was no turning back.

“Actually, can you come by the arcade?” Sam asked. “The boss is glaring at me again for hogging the phone.”

“Okay,” Stevie said, laughing. “But only if you let me win at _Street Fighter_ for once.”

“Fat chance.”

Stevie hung up the phone, the grin melting from her face. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, glad to be getting back into the work that she loved doing best. It had been too long, and it would be a good distraction from thinking about Bunny. She really missed her, even though they had only just met. It felt like there was so much more they could talk about. And she couldn’t get that makeout session out of her head. It was kinda driving her crazy. She had thought about trying to get in touch with her somehow, but Natasha’s words always came back. She had nothing to lose, but Bunny did.

* * *

“Abort mission!” Sam said, rushing around the counter and barreling bodily against Stevie just as she entered the arcade, trying to crowd her back out the door. “I tried calling but you already left, I guess.”

“What?” Stevie asked, but then she saw Bunny standing at the _Dungeons & Dragons_ pinball machine. She looked a little damp around the edges, like she must have been caught out in the rainstorm, too, her hair pulled back into a puffy ponytail. Stevie froze in place.

“Move it, man!” Sam said. “She’s here with Sharon Carter and Natasha Romanoff, and you know Romanoff doesn’t like you.”

“Um, okay,” Stevie said. “What am I supposed to do, run?”

“I don’t know!”

“I came here to talk to you about Starla, though,” Stevie said, pulling out her sketchbook. “I was really looking forward to it.”

“Aww, okay.” Sam gave her his megawatt grin, heading back behind the counter. “Well, it’s your funeral. I’ll write you a kickass epitaph.”

Stevie smirked and grabbed a pencil from the inner pocket of her denim vest, turning to a fresh page and leaning up against the counter.

“Lay it on me, dude. What’s our Starla gonna look like?”

“Okay, so...” Sam began, getting that faraway look he always got when he was talking about his stories. “She’s Black, obviously.”

“Yeah,” Stevie said.

“Since she’s a restorative botanist, I was thinking maybe some black cargo pants so she can carry all her smaller tools, but fitted, you know—”

“Like how fitted?” Stevie asked warily.

“Like flattering,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “Not painted on. She’s got to have good range of motion. And she’s got a sort of fishing vest thing, but stylish, and it’s a lavender color because she’s a member of the Lilac community. And it’s got the Wild Wisdom Alliance logo on the breast pocket.”

“Cool,” Stevie said, outlining her first rough sketch, trying her best to ignore the fact that Bunny was walking straight over to them. She closed her sketchbook just as Bunny walked up. She and Sam both tended to be pretty secretive about their projects. It felt too vulnerable to show rough drafts to anybody.

“Hey,” Bunny said. She smiled her perfect smile at Sam first, then turned it on Stevie.

“Hey,” Stevie said.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

“I didn’t know you were an artist,” Bunny said.

“I mean, sort of.”

“She’s definitely an artist,” Sam piped in. “She’s illustrating a comic that I’m writing.”

“That’s so cool!” Bunny said. “What’s it about?”

“Um,” Stevie stammered, glancing over at Sam. “It’s a secret.”

Sam winced. “It kind of is, yeah.”

Wow, this was awkward.

“Oh, okay,” Bunny said, looking a little flustered. “So, uh, how have you two been?”

“Oh, you know, work all day, play video games all night,” Sam said, laughing. He was only kind of exaggerating. “How about you, Bunny?”

Bunny shrugged. “Working all day, too, pretty much. Tonight me, Nat, and Sharon went to Shakespeare in the Park, but it got rained out.”

“I’ve been working a lot, too,” Stevie said, too abruptly, because apparently her brain had completely forgotten how to make decent conversation.

“Oh yeah?” Bunny asked. “At the warehouse still?”

“Yeah,” Stevie said. God, it had only been like a week since their big makeout session. Did Bunny seriously think she’d magically get a new job between now and then?

“I’m still at the garage,” Bunny said. “I can’t remember if I told you about that, actually. I work on cars at my dad’s garage.”

Stevie could see Sam dying of second-hand embarrassment out of the corner of her eye.

“Oh,” Stevie said, wondering if all that awesome chemistry between them had been just because of the alcohol.

Bunny sighed. “Listen, Stevie, there’s something I wanna say...”

And then Natasha Romanoff and Sharon Carter came walking up behind Bunny, both also looking a little bedraggled from the rain. It was kind of satisfying to see Natasha’s normally perfect hair all clumped up into reddish waves. Sharon smiled, and Natasha fixed Stevie with a blank stare.

“I’m hungry,” she said, draping a sinuous arm around Bunny’s shoulders. “Let’s go to the food court.”

“Uh, okay,” Bunny said. “I guess I’ll talk to you later, Stevie.”

Stevie turned to watch them walk out. She was pretty sure her mouth was hanging open.

“Is it just me? Or was Natasha literally hanging all over Bunny right in front of her girlfriend?”

“But, like, is Sharon actually Natasha’s girlfriend?” Sam asked.

“That’s what Tony said after he rescued me at the grocery store.”

Sam shook his head, sucking his teeth. “Man, I should write a comic about _your_ life, Stevie. It’s a perfect drama.”

“It’s a perfect post-apocalyptic drama at this point,” Stevie muttered.

* * *

“What’s gotten into you?” Natasha asked Bunny as they all slid their food trays onto a moderately clean table at the food court and sat down. “You’re all quiet.”

“Why do you hate her so much?” Bunny asked, pushing her own tray out of the way, untouched. She still hadn’t been able to shake the memory of Stevie’s expression when she’d walked away from her the first time, and now there was a new memory to add on to it.

Sharon cleared her throat and stood up. “Um, I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back, babe.”

“Okay,” Natasha said, giving her a grateful look.

“You don’t have to—” Bunny started, but Sharon just smiled and patted her on the shoulder before walking away.

“I don’t hate her,” Natasha said, transferring her razor-sharp focus back to Bunny. She took a long, contemplative sip from her milkshake. “I just don’t trust her.”

“Why? Has she ever done anything to you?”

“No. But A, she’s been an angry asshole the entire time I’ve known her. B, she’s a jock – enough said. And C, I’ve only ever seen her date guys, so I don’t know what kind of shit she’s trying to pull with you.”

“What?” Bunny asked, feeling like she maybe hadn’t paid as much attention to social dynamics during high school as she thought she did. “Who did she date?”

“Oh, she dated most of the football team. It was like a frickin’ revolving door.” Natasha said, taking a bite of her burger. It leaked a trail of ketchup and mustard down her wrist.

Bunny frowned. “Well, maybe all those guys were from before. I tried guys, too, remember? Or maybe she’s bi or something?”

“I don’t know, Bunny,” she said, around a mouthful of French fries. “I just don’t get what you see in her. I mean, obviously, she’s hot. She’s practically a goddamn Amazon. But it seems like that’s the only thing she has going for her. And I know you’re not shallow.”

“She’s smart and sweet, too,” Bunny said.

“Uh, no. She’s an asshole, remember?”

“Yeah, well, she wasn’t an asshole to me,” Bunny said. “I’m the one that’s been a total asshole. I thought she was gonna be pissed at me for what I did, but she just looked glad to see me today.”

“You didn’t do anything, though. She took advantage of you.”

“God, no, she didn’t!” Bunny said, lowering her voice when some person at a nearby table shot them a look. “It was all my fault. She was going to leave the party, and I asked her a question about music because I wanted to talk to her more. Then I offered her a drink. Then I kept refilling her cup. And then I flung myself into her arms and kissed her. And then I left her hanging. I’m the fucking asshole.”

“No, you’re not,” Natasha said, wiping some mustard off her fingers and taking Bunny’s hand. “You’re really not.”

She had a sad look on her face.

“Hey,” Bunny said, wondering for the first time if she had been misreading their friendship this entire time. “Is there something going on here?”

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked.

“I mean, I guess we never really talked about...you know. When you and I were...whatever we were.”

“And?”

“And...did I fuck something up? Do you like me? Like, _like_ me like me.”

“Hello, I have a girlfriend,” Natasha said, withdrawing her hand. “Her name is Sharon. You’ve met her.”

“Right, okay.” Bunny could feel her face warming. “I just mean, you’re really possessive sometimes.”

“You’re my best friend, Bunny. I love you and I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all. You’re so sweet and sensitive. You deserve someone who can respect that.”

“Aw,” Bunny said. “Love you, too.”

Natasha smiled and took another long sip of milkshake.

“And you’re a major fucking drama queen,” Bunny added. She pushed up from the table. “I’m going to go and apologize to Stevie now.”

“Wait!” Natasha said, pulling her back to the table. “Damn it. I do have to tell you something.”

“Oh God,” Bunny said. “What now?” Natasha glared at her, and she settled back down. “Sorry, I’m listening.”

She took a deep breath, and Bunny realized she really was going to go all out. It was a rare thing with her.

“Look, I’m scared of losing you, that’s all,” she said. “You’re like the only person who has ever gotten me other than Sharon. I don’t want to lose our friendship because you start dating some stupid-ass jock.”

“Oh, Nat,” Bunny said, trying her best not to laugh. “First of all, you’re not going to lose me. You’re my best friend forever. And second of all, you should really give Stevie a chance. Did you know her dad died when she was a kid? And she worked all through high school to help her mom make ends meet? And she’s into all kinds of interesting shit. She’s illustrating a comic book that Sam’s writing. Isn’t that incredible? And she’s even into the same music. She’s got this whole huge record collection that she inherited from her dad.”

“Dude,” Natasha said. “No wonder you made out with her in the middle of Tony Stark’s kitchen.”

“Right?!”

“Fine. I’ll give her a chance. But if she hurts you—”

“Yeah, yeah, save the shovel talk for her, will ya?” Bunny said.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “ _Fine_. Go get her, tiger. I’ll be here.”

Bunny smiled, feeling like a big weight was lifting from her shoulders. Natasha lifted her hand and gestured, and Bunny turned to see that Sharon had been hovering by the line at Dippin’ Dots.

“She’s the real deal, isn’t she?” Bunny asked.

Natasha winked at her. “Yep.”

“Good, see? You have yours, so now I’m gonna go get mine.” Without further ado, she pushed back from the table and made a beeline for the arcade.

* * *

Stevie was completely immersed in finishing up her first sketch of Starla, perched on a stool behind the counter at the arcade because Sam’s boss had gone home for the day.

“When the fuck did _he_ sneak in here?” Sam muttered.

Her head snapped up at the tone of his voice, which was a strange mix of excited and annoyed. And just as she had hoped, the guy she presumed to be the famous Riley sauntered into view and made a beeline for the counter.

“Hey, Sam,” he said as he walked up. “Look what I have.”

“Damn,” Stevie said, as he dropped an absolutely giant pile of tickets on the counter.

Sam crossed his arms. “You expect me to be impressed?”

Stevie glanced between the two of them, smirking at the subtle tension in the air, and the guy flashed a curious look in Stevie’s direction.

“Hey, I’m Stevie,” she said. “Sam’s best friend.”

“Oh, heyyyyy,” the guy said, with a big, admittedly cute, smile. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Riley.”

“Oh, I know,” Stevie said. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Sam gave her a look that basically meant _You little shit_.

“Have you?” Riley asked, raising his eyebrows and glancing over at Sam.

“No,” Sam snapped, doing his best to look annoyed and failing horribly.

Riley made a show of leaning forward on the counter, his eyes lingering on Sam for a minute before he started scoping out the prizes. “Let’s see what kinda stuff you got in tonight...”

“They’re the same as every night, Riley,” Sam said, but he definitely looked flustered.

Riley shrugged. “That’s all right. I like looking at them, anyhow.”

“I personally recommend the friendship bracelets,” Stevie piped in. “Sam’s favorite color is blue, by the way.”

Sam shot her another Look.

“Nice,” Riley said. “I’ll take six blue ones, then.”

Sam hurriedly counted out six little plastic bands and slapped them down on the counter. Riley solemnly split them into two piles and pushed three of them back towards Sam.

“Ugh, please,” Sam said, even as he was reaching out to pluck them off the counter. “We’re not even friends.”

“Aren’t we?” Riley asked. “What about that night it was super dead and we played _Street Fighter_ until close—”

“Which I totally kicked his ass, by the way,” Sam interrupted to tell Stevie.

Stevie laughed. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Anyway,” Riley said, turning to look at her. “We played until close, right? And then we got burgers for dinner and skated around the parking lot until the mall cops chased us away. But we’re totally not friends.”

“Of course not,” Stevie said.

“Shut up, both of you,” Sam said.

“Ever since then, I’ve been kinda hoping for a re-match,” Riley said, meeting Sam’s eyes.

The subtle tension intensified very quickly, and damn did Stevie wish she had smooth moves like that.

“I think it’s about time for another _Dungeons & Dragons_ session,” she said, making a big show of getting up out of her seat and stretching.

Sam gave her another Look, and she gave him a smug little smile in return.

“Good luck,” Riley said.

“You, too,” Stevie said.

She meandered over to the pinball machine, digging in her pockets for quarters, and froze at the sight of Bunny walking back into the arcade.

“Hey, Stevie,” she said, coming right up to her and holding out a scrap of newspaper.

“Hey,” Stevie said, blinking down at the piece of paper. It looked like Bunny had just given her...a phone number.

Bunny took a breath. “In case you wanted to maybe hang out again,” she blurted out. “Or, I don’t know, maybe you don’t?”

“Uh,” Stevie said, trying to wrap her head around this new development.

“Just, um, if you do, call me, all right?” Bunny asked, already backing away.

 _I do_ , Stevie thought. But the words got stuck somewhere inside before she could say them. Her life really was the perfect post-apocalyptic drama, but by some miracle, Bunny still wanted to hang out with her, anyway. She hazarded a glance in Sam’s direction, but fortunately he had been too busy with Riley to notice this latest display of her terrible conversational skills.


	5. State of Attraction (Paula Abdul)

Stevie must have picked up the phone and put it down a thousand times in the next week. She’d work herself up to calling Bunny, and then she’d remember what Natasha had said. Or she’d think about how tired and grumpy she always was after work, and how she barely even had time to hang out with Sam. It wouldn’t make sense to try and be friends with Bunny only to let her down. Plus, Bunny was probably leaving for college at the end of the summer, so maybe it was easier to just let her go.

It was a rare night that both she and her mom were home at the same time. Stevie sat at the kitchen table trying to make herself work on Starla’s character design, but her mind kept replaying the horribly awkward conversation she’d had with Bunny at the arcade. She threw her pencil down on the table and ran her hands through her hair, tugging in frustration.

“You doing okay, Stevie?” her mother asked, looking up from her book. She was sitting in the armchair by the lamp, only a few feet away. Stevie could feel the worry pouring off of her like it was bad perfume.

“Fine,” Stevie said.

“Hmmm.” She closed her book and Stevie sighed.

“Seriously, Mom. I’m fine.”

“You used to talk to me more,” she said.

“Yeah.” Before Dad died, that is. Her life was distinctly split into two parts. Before Dad and After Dad.

“You’re so good at drawing.”

“It’s just a stupid hobby.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

Stevie scoffed. “Drawing won’t pay the bills.”

“You don’t have to work at the warehouse anymore, Stevie. You know that. So it can’t hurt to let yourself dream a little about what you might want to do next.”

“There is no next,” Stevie said. “I’m turning nineteen soon. I can’t expect you to pull my dead weight.”

“When did you start being so hard on yourself?”

She pushed back from the table and grabbed her sketchbook.

“Oh, honey, please don’t go to your room.”

Stevie ignored her and scooped up all of her pencils. It took all of her willpower not to slam the door behind her as she stepped into her room. She flung her sketching supplies into a corner and threw herself down on the bed, smothering her face with a pillow. After a moment, she sat up and punched it until she was winded, her teeth gritted and creaking in her jaw.

She hated everything. Everything sucked.

She pulled the scrap of newspaper that had Bunny’s number on it from her jeans pocket and tore it into little pieces.

* * *

Bunny rolled out from under the car and got to her feet, barely even registering the person who had come to a halt on the sidewalk nearby. She was too deep in thought about this magical beast of a car, the old, messed up Trans Am she had traded off of a customer in tenth grade. She’d gotten it into good working order, and the rest of the clean-up she’d have to get done at a body shop.

The tape ended in her Walkman, and she popped it open to flip it to the B-side, her heart dropping when she finally registered the person gawking on the sidewalk. It was Stevie. Bunny shoved her headphones down around her neck, stepping forward.

“Hey!”

Stevie blinked, and Bunny could swear that the tops of Stevie’s cheekbones were going a little rosy.

“Hey,” Stevie said.

“You never called.”

Stevie looked down at the pavement. She kicked at rock, watching as it bounced away down the sidewalk. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I guess,” Bunny said, wiping her hands off on a grease rag.

Stevie blinked up at her. “That’s a nice car. What year is it?”

“1976 Pontiac Trans Am,” Bunny said proudly. “It was the first anniversary Trans Am and the first black and gold special edition. But it was shot to shit when I first towed it here, so you might as well call it a different car with all the new parts I sank into it. And obviously, it still needs a paint job.”

“Wait, this is _your_ car?” Stevie asked, her eyes almost bugging out of her head.

“Hell yeah,” Bunny said, grinning. “You wanna go for a ride?”

“Right now?” Stevie asked.

“No time like the present.”

“All right.”

“Sorry about the tear in the seat,” Bunny said, as she opened the door for Stevie. She walked around the car, removing the blocks from behind the wheels. “Did Sam tell you this was my dad’s garage?”

“No,” Stevie said, all hunched down in her seat. “I actually kinda stumbled on you by accident.”

“Oh,” Bunny said, unbuttoning her coveralls. So maybe Stevie hadn’t wanted to see her after all.

“I’m glad I did, though,” Stevie said, looking up at her. And there was definitely some red on those cheekbones now.

Bunny grinned wide. “Me too.”

* * *

They drove around for a bit, people occasionally cat-calling Bunny from the sidewalk. She looked like a million bucks driving that thing, even in her old jeans and worn t-shirt. Maybe especially because of those things. Stevie could barely keep her eyes off of her.

“Wanna listen to some music?” Bunny asked. “The tape deck was one of the first things I installed. The guys at the shop made so much fun of me for that. ‘What’s the point of a tape deck if you can’t even drive the damn car?’ they said. But priorities, dude. Know what I mean?”

Stevie laughed. “Yeah. What’s on deck?”

Bunny pushed the tape into the player. “You’ll see.”

“Oh, nice,” Stevie said, as D.R.I.’s _Dealing With It!_ started playing from the speakers, right in the middle of ‘Reaganomics.’

“The back left speaker is a little buzzy,” Bunny said, yelling over the blare of the music. “But otherwise, not bad, huh?”

“Yeah!” Stevie yelled back. The sun was warm on her face, the wind tousling her hair. She felt wild and free in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. It felt good. So fucking good.

“Wanna get some drive-thru?” Bunny asked. “I never ate lunch.”

“Fuck yeah.”

The drive-thru wasn’t that busy, and then Bunny drove them to a parking spot by an empty lot. Stevie stared off at the houses down the street, waiting for Bunny to unpack the huge, grease-stained paper bag that perched on the e-brake between them.

“Don’t worry about making a mess,” she said. “I’m not one of those kinds of car people.”

“Um, okay,” Stevie said, already terrified that she might spill her Coke on the seat or something.

“Except for the Coke, don’t spill the Coke,” Bunny said.

“Yeah.”

Bunny sure was a talkative kid even without the alcohol, Stevie realized. She wished she could have a chug of whiskey right now to help her along. Her nerves were making her clam up like crazy.

“So, I owe you an apology,” Bunny said.

Stevie looked over at her, confused. “An apology? For what?”

“I shouldn’t have left you hanging like that at the party,” Bunny said. “I’ve been feeling like shit about that this whole time. And then the arcade thing. Ouch. That was awkward.”

“Um,” Stevie said.

“I really like you, Stevie,” Bunny said, turning toward her. “I wanna get to know you more.”

The air had gone still like it did some summer days, heavy and sticky against her skin. Stevie thought about the warehouse. Living at home with her mom. Bunny leaving for school in just a few short weeks.

Bunny was watching her expectantly.

Fuck it.

“Bunny,” Stevie said, and even her name tasted good on her tongue. She couldn’t help letting her gaze drop to those plush little lips that curled up at the corners. Bunny’s hair was all wild today, falling out of its tie in messy waves, her long fringe pushed to one side. It must have taken a while to straighten it for Stark’s graduation party. Her eyes were bright blue in the sunlight. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, and she looked fantastic. Stevie wanted to feel her body underneath her hands again.

“Stevie,” Bunny replied, lifting an eyebrow.

“Me, too,” Stevie managed, even though it sort of felt like she was putting her heart in a blender. At some point very soon, they’d have to turn it on. And it would hurt like hell. “I like you, too.”

Bunny bit her lower lip, grinning. It took all of Stevie’s willpower not to lean over the gear shift to taste that mouth again.

“God, I wanna kiss you,” Bunny said, reaching out to grip Stevie’s wrist. Her hand was clammy. She’d been just as nervous, hadn’t she? “But we can’t do that here.”

“Drive-in,” Stevie blurted, kicking herself for having the nerve to say it. But Bunny looked like she thought that was brilliant, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Okay. When?”

“Friday?” Stevie asked. “ _Arachnophobia_ is playing. You’re not scared of spiders, are you?”

“Nah.”

“Cool.”

“So I’ll pick you up at eight, then.”

“In this car?” Stevie asked.

Bunny grinned. “Yeah, if that’s what you want.”

* * *

It was just Stevie’s luck that her mom didn’t have to work Friday night. She had planned on having the apartment to herself to get ready.

“You look nice,” she said, as Stevie walked out of her room, fidgeting in her outfit. She’d spent an hour trying to decide. Ripped jeans or the acid-wash? Band shirt or plaid button-up or both? Reeboks or Chucks? She didn’t want to look like a poser. Or like she’d put in too much effort. But she didn’t wanna look like a slouch, either.

She finally settled on one of her dad’s old Thin Lizzy shirts for good luck. The usual red hoodie on top. The acidwash jeans. And the Reeboks. Now she looked like how she felt. Like she never quite fit into any one scene, and definitely not like a jock. She purposefully avoided looking like a jock as much as possible these days. It didn’t mean anything, anymore.

“Are you going on a date?” her mom asked, her focus going sharp.

“No,” Stevie said. “Just the drive-in with some friends.”

“Hmmm.”

Stevie glared at her, and she lifted both hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I won’t pry. Much.”

Stevie flushed from head to foot at the sound of an engine rumbling through the open front windows. Her mom went over to peek outside.

“Who is that? Is Sam fixing up that car?”

“You said you weren’t gonna pry,” Stevie said, snatching her wallet from the kitchen counter and stuffing it into her back pocket. “See ya.”

“Now hold on a minute there, Stephanie,” her mom said. “That’s a new friend, isn’t it?”

“Mom.”

“I’m just excited I get to be here for this. I didn’t even get to meet Sam for months.”

Stevie jumped as the buzzer rang, reaching over to hit the intercom button.

“Hey,” she said into the speaker/microphone box. “I’ll be right down.”

Her mom reached around her shoulder and pushed the button again.

“Hi there, I’m Sarah. Stevie’s mom. You should come up a minute. I want to meet you.” She pressed the door button to buzz Bunny in while Stevie tried her best not to go into full panic mode.

“God damn it, Mom.”

“You watch your mouth,” she said, opening the front door just as Bunny came up the stairs.

* * *

Bunny stared at Stevie’s mom, flustered. She looked harmless enough, standing there at five-foot-five, but her brown eyes were sharp. She had Stevie’s blond hair. Or maybe it was better to say that Stevie had her hair.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” she said, stepping aside. “Come on in.”

“Mom,” Stevie ground out, looking mortified.

“Hey,” Bunny said, once she was in the apartment. She stuck out her hand. “I’m Jamie Barnes, but everyone calls me Bunny. Nice to meet you.”

“Sarah Rogers,” Stevie’s mom said. “You’re the valedictorian, aren’t you? I saw you in the paper.”

Bunny could feel her face warming. “Yeah, that’s me.”

She shouldn’t be so embarrassed about it. She had worked her ass off for that, and she had some fierce competition, too. Mainly Tony, but he had kinda shot himself in the foot with all the partying.

“Can we go now, Mom?” Stevie asked.

“Oh, fuck!” Bunny said, just now registering the glorious rows of books and records that lined almost every free wall of the tiny living room. “I mean, shit. I mean, crap.” She looked over at Stevie’s mom, but she didn’t look upset, just extremely amused.

“Oh, you haven’t seen our library yet?” Mrs. Rogers asked. “Is this your first time over?”

“No!” Bunny said. “I mean, yes!” She could feel her eyes almost bugging out of her head. Her hands itched to run along those spines, to riffle along the clear plastic sleeves of those records.

“Well, don’t be rude, Stevie. Show Bunny around.”

“Um,” Stevie said, tripping forward and motioning to the leftmost bookshelf. “They’re in order by section. We’ve got a bunch of literature from all kinds of writers. Then feminist and queer theory. This section is like all different types of history. And some astrology, because why not, I guess?”

“You’ll have to tell me your birthday so I can draw up your natal chart, Bunny,” Stevie’s mom cut in.

“Astronomy, too,” Stevie said, a little loud, giving her mom a warning look. “Natural healing stuff, reference books for drawing...”

Bunny could barely concentrate, her mind trying to take in the swirl of words. She wanted to copy down the title and author of every single one of these books.

“How?” she asked. This was everything she’d always sought but didn’t know how to find. Everything. She stared at Stevie, feeling a bit like a caged animal who had just been shown the door. “Where?”

“My husband and I spent years foraging at library sales, used book stores, hole-in-the-wall shops, flea markets, you name it,” Mrs. Rogers said.

Bunny reached out, running a finger down the worn, wrinkled back of a paperback book called _Rubyfruit Jungle_. She had never seen so many books in one house. She had never known how much she wanted this, until seeing it now.

“Here,” Stevie said, handing her a worn copy of UFO’s ‘Phenomenon’ album.

Bunny staggered over to the couch, flipping the record in her hands, resisting the urge to _smell_ it. To _taste_ it, even. She slid it gently out of the sleeve, admiring the label, noting the near-perfect glossiness of the vinyl.

“Wow,” she said. “It’s in great condition.”

“Yeah, my dad was a stickler for that,” Stevie said, and that’s when Bunny noticed their record player. It was an older model, but it had clearly been well taken care of over the years.

“Wow,” Bunny said again, her mouth watering.

“Should we, um, head out?” Stevie asked. She was still hovering next to Bunny, fidgeting a bit, and Bunny felt a little bad that she kind of wanted to skip the movie and stay here in this dream of a living room for...oh, the rest of her life, pretty much.

“What are your plans now that you’ve graduated, Bunny?” Mrs. Rogers asked, acting as if she hadn’t even heard Stevie’s question.

Stevie sighed and flopped back into the armchair by the kitchen. Bunny gave her an apologetic look.

“Um, well, I got a fellowship to Cambridge for History and Linguistics,” Bunny said. She didn’t like to talk about it much. She’d applied to lots of schools and had been surprised about Cambridge.

“Wonderful!” Mrs. Rogers turned into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Do you want a Coke?”

“Uh,” Bunny said, looking over at Stevie, who was shaking her head, eyes frantic. “No thanks. We gotta get to the drive-in, I guess. The movie starts soon.”

“Okay, then,” Mrs. Rogers said, amused. Clearly she hadn’t missed that exchange. “Well, don’t be a stranger, you hear? Come around any time you want. Stevie would never tell you this, but she gets lonely.”

“Kill me now,” Stevie said, burying her face in her hands.

“She’s really good at drawing,” she continued, grinning at Bunny conspiratorially. “Do you draw?”

“Um, I’m more of a writer,” Bunny said, torn between being polite to Mrs. Rogers and doing her part to extract Stevie from her awkward misery.

“Oh!” Mrs. Rogers said. “That’s perfect. You can collaborate on something, then. Stevie does that with her friend Sam. They do comics mostly.”

“Oh, yeah!” Bunny said.

Stevie groaned and slumped back against the armchair.

“Well, you kids have fun,” Mrs. Rogers said, and Bunny could swear she caught a glint in her eye that said she was dragging this out on purpose and not because she was an oblivious mom.

Stevie practically launched herself out of the armchair. It rocked back on its two hind legs, slamming back down to the floor with a thump just as she grabbed Bunny’s wrist and pulled her toward the door.

“Um, here’s the record,” Bunny said, handing it back to Mrs. Rogers as Stevie pulled her past. “Thanks! And it was so nice to meet you!”


	6. Octopussy (Lunachicks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Just a reminder that the characters are both of age. :)_

They got to the drive-in just in time, and Bunny went off to get some popcorn and Cokes for them both. Stevie sat in the car, nervous as hell, her palms sweating. She distracted herself looking around the car. Bunny had put the T-tops back on, making it a bit more private. Stevie tried not to think about that and settled on fiddling with the radio dial, tuning into the station that would be playing the audio for _Arachnophobia_.

“Here ya go,” Bunny said, startling Stevie by handing the Coke and popcorn through her open window.

The movie started and it seemed like Bunny was actually planning to watch it, so Stevie settled back, trying to focus on the screen. She was just thinking she might need to get out and run a couple laps around the parking lot when she felt Bunny’s fingers on her wrist. It felt like some combination of fire and ice shooting up her arm.

“Is this okay?” Bunny asked, her face painted with a mix of shadow and flashing light from the movie screen.

Stevie nodded, and Bunny slid her fingers further up, squeezing her upper arm lightly. Stevie couldn’t help showing off just a bit, flexing her bicep so that Bunny could feel the muscles moving. Bunny licked her lips, sucking in her lower lip and biting it nice and slow. Stevie shifted closer, heart hammering in her chest, and leaned across the gear shift, lifting her palm to Bunny’s face, thumb rubbing along the sharp edge of one cheekbone.

“Go on, kiss me,” Bunny whispered.

And so she did.

It was amazing to feel Bunny’s lips again, like she’d been literally lost in some shitty alternate reality since that night at the party, and now everything was returning back to normal. Bunny’s mouth tasted like popcorn butter, her lips slick with some kind of gloss that tasted like strawberries. She reached out without thinking to draw Bunny closer, so they were both contorted painfully between the front seats, and then Bunny shoved her back, breathing hard, her eyes wild.

“There’s a thing, at the front of your seat. To make it go back. So we have more room.”

Stevie leaned forward and found the lever sticking out from under the seat under her knees. The seat slid all the way back when she pulled on it. She barely had a chance to re-settle before — _Holy shit!_ — before Bunny was climbing over the gear shift and straddling her lap. Stevie’s breath hitched as Bunny let her full weight settle across her thighs. She fumbled at the side of the seat to see if she could tilt it back a bit more.

“No, wait,” Bunny said, just as Stevie found the knob and twisted. The seat flopped back the whole way, Bunny collapsing down on top of her.

“Whoa,” Stevie said, staring up into Bunny’s wide eyes.

“It’s broken,” Bunny said, laughing.

“Obviously.”

“Smart-ass.”

“But no, this is good,” Stevie said, letting her voice go breathy. “I like this.”

Bunny sucked in a breath, and Stevie lifted her head, catching her mouth and kissing her thoroughly, drawing her back down until Bunny was splayed out on top of her, chest-to-chest.

Yeah, it was overwhelming, but it was the best kind of overwhelming. Bunny was practically devouring her. They kissed for a dizzying length of time, Stevie tangling her fingers in Bunny’s hair while Bunny worked her way up to touching her tits. They annoyed the hell out of her most of the time, but everyone she’d ever been with seemed to like them an awful lot. There was something about the way Bunny was touching them that felt different, though. Like she hadn’t forgotten that they were attached to a human being. Like she could appreciate them while still seeing Stevie for all that she was, blurry edges and all.

“Oh God,” Bunny said, breathless in between kisses. “I just can’t seem to go slow with you. I want to eat you alive.”

Stevie’s body flushed at that, heat flaring out from her center and down, the crotch of her underwear wet. She was glad Bunny’s bottom half wasn’t quite pressed down as much as her top half, only because, well, Bunny said she wanted to go slow.

“Fuck it,” Bunny muttered against her mouth. She shifted so that very suddenly, yes, their hips were pressing together. Bunny wiggled a bit, slotting a thigh up between Stevie’s legs.

“Fuck yeah,” Stevie groaned, and Bunny burst into a fit of giggles, nipping at her lower lip.

“You like that?”

“Mmph,” Stevie said, emitting another embarrassing noise as Bunny pressed her leg up against her.

“Goddamn, that’s too uncomfortable,” she said, panting into Stevie’s neck as she squirmed in her arms. “Sorry. Might work better in the back.”

“Is this the first time you’ve hooked up with someone in your car?” Stevie asked, laughing.

Bunny frowned down at her, her hair a wild halo of curls. “Why? Does it matter?”

“No.”

The movie cut into the sudden silence, horrified screaming interwoven with the weird sounds that spiders apparently made.

“I’ve been busy,” Bunny said. “Everyone else was fucking around junior and senior year and I was sweating bullets trying to get myself a ticket out of here.”

“Hey, I wasn’t judging,” Stevie replied, feeling bad she had even brought it up. “I just think it’s kinda hot. Breaking in your Trans Am.”

“Oh.” Bunny blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Stevie said, reaching up to run a thumb along Bunny’s jaw. Bunny leaned into the touch, her eyes widening as Stevie moved her hands to Bunny’s hips, lifting her up. “Go on, crawl on back there.”

Stevie was sure Bunny was dragging her leg against her crotch on purpose as she crawled into the back. She couldn’t help but catch Bunny’s ankle, squeezing gently just before she sat up and used the lever to pull the front seat forward.

* * *

Bunny watched Stevie adjust the seat forward then turn to climb over, graceful despite her size. She was slouched up against the left-hand window, wild want zinging around inside of her, pulsing up to a new level of frenzy as Stevie grabbed her hips and slid her down until she was stretched flat along the back seat.

“Hi,” Stevie said, with a look on her face that could single-handedly set the world on fire.

“Hey,” Bunny breathed, feeling like she’d just sprinted a mile or something.

Stevie flung a leg over her waist, gently pressing her knee in between Bunny’s side and the back cushion, her other leg half-bent, foot scrabbling for purchase on the floor of the car. Bunny stared up at her, still half-certain this was all just a dream, as Stevie pressed a hand to her face, thumb rough against her lips. She opened her mouth and caught Stevie’s thumb.

“You wildcat,” Stevie said, grinning, as Bunny pressed her tongue against the finger caught between her teeth.

She let go, grinning back. “For you, yeah.”

Stevie slid her hand over Bunny’s neck and down her chest, that wicked little smirk still on her face.

“I’ve been thinking about you non-stop since that party,” she said, her voice low and throaty. Before Bunny could reply, Stevie skated her thumb over one peaked nipple. It felt like fireworks going off in Bunny’s brain. Stevie squeezed gently, then circled over and over, dragging against the fabric of the t-shirt. And then she moved her hand to Bunny’s hipbone, leaving her feeling frustrated and abandoned. Before she could even complain, Stevie was kissing her again.

“Gimme more,” Bunny said, panting against her mouth.

Stevie grinned. “Are you asking me to go down on you?”

Bunny blinked, unable to keep the shock off her face. Somehow, even though it was pretty damn obvious that Stevie was having a good time, it hadn’t quite sunk in that she actually might want to...do things...like that.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Stevie said, her brow wrinkling. “It was just a thought.”

“No,” Bunny said. “I mean, I just didn’t expect that.”

“I haven’t done it that many times,” Stevie admitted. “So maybe you don’t want me to.”

“Oh no, Stevie,” Bunny said, sounding far too eager and not caring one bit. “This is exactly what I want.”

“You have, um, any supplies?” Stevie asked. “We probably should, you know, use them.”

Bunny nodded, glad she had been optimistic about tonight, and dug around behind the driver’s seat, unearthing a roll of plastic wrap, a few pairs of gloves stuffed inside the box around the tube.

She felt Stevie tense underneath her hands, and that’s when Bunny really saw it. How much Stevie liked her. How much she wanted this, too. It was written all over her face, impossible to miss now. It would have blown Bunny’s mind all over again, if her mind wasn’t already totally and completely past being blown.

Somehow, they managed to maneuver themselves so that Stevie could get her face down by Bunny’s crotch. Some part of the car was poking uncomfortably into Bunny’s back, but she didn’t give a single flying fuck. Stevie had rucked up her shirt, pushing her bra out of the way so she could press her mouth to the sensitive slopes of Bunny’s chest, marking a reverent trail from her breastbone on down to her belly, pausing to nip at the soft edge of her navel. She ran her palms up and down Bunny’s sides, hands rough and warm, sending Bunny gasping into a whole other dimension. She could feel Stevie’s hot panting breaths on the soft skin of her stomach, and then Stevie was gripping her hips, asking her to lift.

She helped Stevie push her jeans out of the way, feeling the wet spot between her legs from where she had leaked so much already. Stevie pushed her thighs apart, nosing up against it, mouthing at her through the fabric of her briefs.

“Jesus,” Bunny said, giddy as fuck. She tilted her head back, barely aware of how her skull literally clunked against the window, her fingernails skidding over the stitch detailing along the back of the seat.

“Mmmm,” Stevie said, digging into Bunny’s sides as she gripped the waistband of her briefs. “Ready for this?”

“Fuck yes,” Bunny said. “Come on, Stevie. Give it to me.”

Stevie lifted her hips for her this time, tugging Bunny’s briefs down as Bunny frantically freed one leg. There was a brief tussle with the plastic wrap, Stevie swearing under her breath as she tried to tear off a piece with one hand. She shuddered as Stevie pressed it up against her, fingers warm and gentle, and then there was the hesitant stroke of her tongue.

She lifted her head. “Is this okay so far?”

“Perfect, perfect,” Bunny chanted, her chest heaving. It’s not like she would be doing any better. She hadn’t done this that often, either.

Stevie took a moment to change position. God, she must be so uncomfortable right now. How did a kid like her even fit back here? And then Bunny’s thoughts melted away to a wordless buzz as Stevie licked up over her hole, tongue dipping in and then sliding slowly over her clit. Bunny clamped her jaw shut, trying to keep reasonably quiet, and reached down to run her fingers through Stevie’s fine blond hair.

Stevie pressed her tongue along the inner edges of her cunt, that soft sensitive part that throbbed in commiseration with her clit. She looked up at Bunny, eyes shining in the low light.

“Can I go in?” she asked. “If I wear a glove?

“Yes,” Bunny gasped. She could barely keep her eyes open. She bit her lip, pulsing in response as Stevie slid one finger inside of her, then two, and then her mouth was there again, tongue lapping at her, nice and steady, fingers rubbing up against that special spot inside, fucking into her slowly. Pleasure wound its way up the base of Bunny’s spine, running out to the edges of her body before funneling back down into the pit of her stomach. She lifted one bare leg and draped it over the back of the seat, spreading her thighs wider.

For a wild moment, Bunny wondered what they would look like to someone who happened to peer through the window just now. Then Stevie sped up, her tongue and fingers relentless. Bunny arched up under the new onslaught, her toes curling. The movie blared over the radio, dramatic music pounding, heightening the moment. She realized she was talking in scandalous little gasps that wove through the background noise like raunchy sound effects. _Yes. Just like that. Ungh. Oh god, oh god. Stevie. Oh! Yes. Please. Fuck. Stevie, Stevie, Stevie_...and then...she couldn’t think anymore. She couldn’t...

“Fuck, I’m gonna...” she gasped. “Stevie, I’m gonna come.”

Stevie pressed in harder against her, crooking her fingers up. Bunny writhed through it, cries shaking out of her through her tightly pressed lips, her head spinning. She thought for a second she might even fucking cry, but then Stevie backed off, kissing her gently through the last of it before lifting her head.

“That was so hot,” she said, her voice all scratchy.

“Fuck,” Bunny said, barely managing to keep from stuttering. She pulled Stevie back up to her by the fabric of her hoodie, crushing their lips together.

“Good, then?” Stevie asked, when they pulled apart.

“I’ll show you,” Bunny said, still breathless. “I’ll fucking show you how good it was.”

Stevie grinned.

* * *

True to her word, Bunny had Stevie on her back, all splayed out, not even a minute after she had gotten her clothes in order. It was kind of a relief to find that Bunny started off as clumsy she probably had. But she made up for it by being very enthusiastic. Stevie was working hard to keep from coming two seconds after they had started. She was already half-gone, just from hearing all of Bunny’s little sounds.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” she said, gripping Bunny’s hair lightly in her fist. “So good.”

Stevie pulled on Bunny’s hair gently, hips twitching as Bunny hummed, bringing on a new, even more intense level of pleasure. Bunny paused, sucking the plastic wrap into her mouth, and everything narrowed down to that moment. Bunny’s body pressed in between her legs, her cunt all filled up with her fingers, the suction from Bunny’s mouth. Warm, wet, good. Fuck. So good. She shuddered, everything starting to unfurl inside of her. Bunny reached up and grabbed Stevie’s wrist with wet fingers, making her pull on her hair again. Hard, this time.

“Fuck!” Stevie bit out as Bunny moaned, loud and open-mouthed against her. Stevie pulled on her hair again and Bunny went wild, doing some insanely good swirling thing with her tongue, fingers sliding back inside in one smooth motion. “Bunny, I’m gonna...oh!” Stevie yanked on Bunny’s hair just as the wave broke over her. Bunny was still going. Stevie squeezed her eyes shut, both hands in Bunny’s hair now, her body writhing along to Bunny’s rhythm. She was pretty sure she was panting and tried to close her mouth, but there was no keeping the sounds in. She had to let it out. It was just too good. She didn’t want to burn alive.

Bunny slowed down, coaxing her through the last of it, and Stevie’s vision cleared. She was staring at the ceiling of the car, her hands still pulling Bunny’s hair in rhythmic little tugs, until she realized...

“Wow,” she said, dropping her hands, feeling like she could probably go again. And again. And again. Her entire body was greedy for it. Shimmering with lust, satisfied but not sated. But they were at the movies. She was lying there, t-shirt bunched up under her chin, Bunny’s spit drying in little patches all over her body where she had been licked, sucked, and bitten.

Bunny wiped her mouth on the inside of her shirt. Stevie was still pretty much seeing stars. She shivered as Bunny slid a soft hand down her leg, helping her back into her underwear. She wiggled to let Bunny pull her jeans back into place. Bunny finished zipping her up and then stretched out on top of her, kissing the tip of her nose.

“Hey.”

Stevie grinned. “You’re a force of nature, Bun.”

Bunny smiled back at her. “Am I?”

“Yeah. And you’re gorgeous,” Stevie added. “Did I mention that yet?”

“Not in so many words.”

“And you’re smart. And funny.”

“Aw,” Bunny said, biting her lip. “So are you, Stevie. All those things. I kinda can’t believe you actually like me back.”

“Believe it,” Stevie said.

“Say the gorgeous part again?” Bunny asked.

“You’re fucking hot as hell, dude,” Stevie said, kissing her with everything she had.

Bunny laughed against her mouth, kissing her back just as hard.

They spent the rest of _Arachnophobia_ cuddling and making out in the backseat, Stevie’s legs sprawled out over the passenger seat, which was still tilted back the whole way, and Bunny stretched out across her lap. It was, hands down, the best movie Stevie had ever not seen.


	7. Good Times (Aretha Franklin)

Today was International Lesbian and Gay Freedom Day, and Bunny had barely been able to concentrate all morning at work. She had told her dad that she was going to the Pride March and then a sleepover at Natasha’s house, steeling herself for a fight. Surprisingly, despite the fact that he argued with her about practically every single thing she did lately, he hadn’t questioned that at all. Maybe he was finally starting to accept who she really was, or, more likely, he had just been too distracted by his busy work day to bother with putting up much of a fight. Either way, it was a major relief when she finally clocked out and headed over to Nat’s place to get ready.

“Hey,” Natasha said, opening the door and leaving it hanging open as she walked barefoot back down the front hall. She was wearing the new denim vest that Bunny had helped her pick out at the mall last weekend. “You’re the first one here.”

“Hi Bunny!” Natasha’s aunt yelled from upstairs.

“Hi, Ms. Vostokoff!” Bunny called back.

“Please,” she yelled back. “Like I always tell you. It’s just Melina.”

“Sorry! I forgot,” she called back up the stairs. “Can we talk for a sec?” she asked Natasha, lowering her voice.

Nat turned back to look at her. “Yeah.”

Bunny glanced up the stairs, wondering if Natasha’s aunt was going to be coming down anytime soon.

“Oh, don’t worry about her. She’s painting and won’t be coming down till later. What’s up?”

“We, um...” Bunny dropped her backpack by the front door. “We had sex at the drive-in.”

Natasha blinked. “You what?”

“Yeah,” Bunny said, feeling her face warm a bit.

“Oh my God, come on,” Natasha said, taking Bunny’s hand and dragging her back to the kitchen, where apparently she had been in the middle of baking. There was a huge bowl of chocolate cookie dough on the kitchen counter and two cookie trays sitting out.

“Can I?” Bunny asked, settling down on a stool across the counter from her, already halfway to dipping her finger in the cookie dough.

“Get!” Nat slapped her hand away. “You can lick the bowl once I drop the cookies, dude.”

“Fine,” Bunny said, pouting.

“Aw, all right,” she said, grabbing Bunny’s hand and scooping a dollop of dough onto her palm. “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“Love you,” Bunny said. “But also gross. It’s sticky.”

“Says the kid who apparently likes banging a big, sweaty jock.”

“Hey! You’re the one who called her a gorgeous Amazon or something. I think you’re jealous.”

“Okay.”

“I like her sweat,” Bunny said.

“That good, huh?”

“Yep,” Bunny said. “I mean, it was sort of a train wreck because we were crammed in the back of the Trans Am, but you know, it kinda made everything sexier.”

“Uh-huh,” Natasha said as she dropped perfect little spheres of dough onto the first cookie sheet. “Did you use protection?”

“Of course. And we’re gonna go get tested, too. We haven’t had time to see each other again, but we’ve been talking on the garage phone so my dad can’t listen in.”

“Talking or...” Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“We might have had a little phone sex, too,” Bunny admitted.

“Only a little, huh?” Natasha switched the cookie trays and started dropping dough on the second one.

“Fine. A lot. Like every night. But we also just talk, too!”

“Sure,” Natasha said. “So, did you think about the phone bill?”

“Of course,” Bunny said, reaching over to swat at Natasha’s shoulder. “I run the books for the shop, remember? My dad won’t know a thing.”

“How’s it been otherwise?”

“Tense. But it’s fine. I can handle it.”

“I mean, you’re leaving for England at the end of the summer, anyway, right?”

Bunny’s heart twisted at that. “I guess.”

“Wait a minute,” Natasha said. “You’re still going, right?”

Damn it. Sometimes she could be way too perceptive.

“Bunny, no,” she said, when Bunny took too long to answer. “You can’t stay. You’ve been talking about getting out there and seeing the world since ninth grade!”

“Yeah, but...” she paused, knowing how stupid this was going to sound. “Now there’s Stevie, and she has to stay here.”

“I see.”

“I think I’m in love with her,” Bunny admitted, her voice small.

“Bunny...”

“Look, I know it’s cliché, but it feels so real. I’ve never clicked with anyone like I do with her.” Bunny covered her face with her hands. “Ugh, I’m so dumb.”

“Nah,” Natasha said, coming around the counter to wrap her arms around her. “You’re not dumb.”

Tears sprang into her eyes as she squeezed Natasha back, resting her head against hers. It was embarrassing to be so emotional, but after the whirlwind of the last few weeks she wasn’t in any shape to keep it together under the onslaught of Natasha’s attention.

“Have you talked to her about Cambridge?” she asked, pulling back to look at Bunny’s face, her lips turning down at the sight of her tears.

“I mean, she knows,” Bunny muttered, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “We’re basically just trying to pretend like this is never gonna end, I think.”

“Well, maybe you could have a long-distance thing. She could visit you and stuff.”

“Maybe,” Bunny said. “But that just seems like a recipe for a long, drawn-out heartbreak.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Since when have you become so cynical, huh? Where’s the kid who used to lecture me about how there’s always another way? Love conquers all?”

“I guess I grew up?”

“Ouch. That’s fucking sad.”

“Sorry. I’m just really nervous about the future, you know? It’s all so murky. I have no idea what I’m getting into, and I’m going to be all alone over there...”

“Talk to her, Bunny,” Natasha said. “I’m pretty sure you’ll regret it if you don’t at least try. It’s better to face things like this than ignore them.”

“You’re right.”

“I know I am,” Natasha said. “I learned everything I know from the smartest, sweetest kid in the world.”

Bunny smiled at her, struggling not to start crying again. She was going to miss her so much.

“Never forget who you really are,” Natasha said, putting a hand over her heart.

At that, Bunny really did break into tears, and surprisingly, so did Natasha. They cried into each other’s shirts for a while, until Natasha kissed her cheek and pulled away.

“I guess I needed that,” she said, wiping her face on her shirt.

“Me, too,” Bunny admitted.

The doorbell rang, and Natasha gave her a questioning look.

“You invited her, right?”

“Yeah,” Bunny said. “She was a little nervous, though. You haven’t exactly been nice to her.”

“I’ll be civil,” Natasha said, grinning, but it looked more like she was baring her teeth. “Are you gonna go let her in, or what?”

Bunny scrubbed at her face one more time before heading down the hall. She opened the front door to find Stevie, Tony, Sam, and a guy she didn’t know waiting on the stoop. Both Stevie and Sam immediately looked concerned at the sight of Bunny’s tear-stained face, while the new guy looked uncomfortable and Tony stood there looking like he was in the middle of an internal monologue.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Bunny said. “Just...you know. Stupid emotions.”

Tony blinked up at her. “Oh, hey, what happened?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Bunny said. “Come on in.”

Stevie stepped in first then moved aside to let the boys get past her.

“Uh, hi,” the new guy said. “I’m Riley. I’m Sam’s, um, friend.”

“Friend,” Tony scoffed, and Sam punched him in the shoulder.

“Nice to meet you, Riley,” Bunny said, shaking his hand.

“Sorry about whatever happened,” Riley said, looking endearingly earnest about it as Sam grabbed his hand and tugged him down the hall.

Bunny had barely managed to close the door before Stevie was gathering her in against the wall, very nearly knocking over an ornate umbrella stand in her haste.

“Hey,” she said. “You really okay?”

“Yeah,” Bunny replied, pushing away all thoughts of Cambridge. “I missed you.”

“Me, too,” Stevie said, leaning closer.

Bunny’s entire body flushed warm when Stevie’s lips met hers.

* * *

It was hard, but Stevie finally managed to pull away from Bunny before too much time had passed, very much aware that she was at the center of Natasha Romanoff’s home turf. She led Bunny back down the hall, where she could hear Tony, Sam, Riley, and Natasha arguing about the latest issue of _Amazing Spiderman_. She came to a halt at the entrance to the kitchen, Bunny running into her back, and gave Natasha a careful nod.

"Hello,” Natasha said gravely. “Welcome to my home.”

“Thank you,” Stevie said, just as serious. She jumped when Bunny poked her in the ribs, emitting an embarrassing little squeak.

“Come on, you two,” Bunny said. “Stop being so fucking serious. It’s Pride!”

Natasha frowned, but then the doorbell rang. “That’ll be Sharon,” she said. “Excuse me, please.”

Stevie obligingly got out of the way so that Natasha could get past, and caught Bunny giving her friend a Look. Natasha basically shrugged in response, though it was more the suggestion of a shrug, and not a real movement.

“Okay, so, pay attention, kids,” Tony said, pulling a clear zip bag out of his backpack. It was marked with a huge black X. “Natasha made the regular cookies, and I brought the fancy cookies, okay? And you should only eat one each. Like, look me in the eyes right now, all of you, because I’m being serious. And you know when I’m being serious, it’s serious. These babies are fucking potent.”

“We get the point, Tony,” Sam said. “Anyway, I don’t plan on getting all weird on a fucking edible in the middle of a march.”

“Aw, why not?”

“Um, because there will be cops there?”

Tony scoffed. “So?”

“Not everyone’s a rich white kid, okay?” Stevie said.

Tony blinked. “Right. Sorry.”

“Maybe we can save them for after,” Bunny said. “Nat said we’re all invited to sleep over, anyway. We can get wasted then.”

“Well, that sounds like a plan,” Riley said, grinning.

“Come on, losers, it’s officially time to get ready,” Natasha said, holding up two huge plastic bags. “Sharon brought a shitload of stuff from her work.”

They stormed into the living room, Stevie feeling more and more nervous as Sharon and Natasha pulled out a bunch of vintage clothes from the bags. Bunny proudly presented her purple sparkly Caboodles case full of makeup. Tony threw the weed cookies onto the pile, Riley presented a huge bag of permanent markers and some box cutters, and Sam dragged in the pile of cardboard boxes he’d collected from the mall. Stevie swallowed, fingering the hard edge of the cassette tape in her pocket, feeling kinda shy about bringing it out. What if they didn’t like it?

“Did you bring your Pride mixtape?” Bunny asked her, looking devastatingly gorgeous, her cheeks rosy with excitement.

Stevie gulped as Natasha lifted her head and met her eyes.

“I have a boombox in my room,” she said, her voice flat. “Sharon, can you go get it?”

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear it!” Bunny said, and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Tone it down, Barnes, you’re making me feel bad about myself.”

Bunny laughed. “I didn’t think that was possible.”

Stevie presented the tape when Sharon handed Natasha the boombox, watching as Natasha inspected the portraits she had done on the front of the liner notes – Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and Miss Major Griffin-Gracy.

“You did this?” she asked, squinting over at Stevie.

“Yeah,” Stevie said.

“She’s an artist,” Bunny said. “Sam’s writing a comic and she’s illustrating it.”

“What? That’s cool,” Tony said, squinting over at Stevie. He turned to Sam. “What’s it about?”

“You’ll see,” Sam said, smiling mysteriously.

“It’s pretty fuckin’ rad,” Riley added.

“Wait, Sam told you about it?” Stevie asked.

“Um, just the basic plot points,” Riley said, flushing red, while Sam gave her an apologetic look.

“That’s cool,” Stevie said, smiling at both of them, because how could she begrudge Sam the joys of sharing his story with whoever he wanted to share it with? “It’ll be good to have someone to bounce ideas off of as we keep going.”

Natasha watched the entire interaction with the slightest hint of what could possibly have been approval. “I like this song,” she added, as “Good Times” by Aretha Franklin came on.

Bunny shot Stevie a triumphant smile. Next to her, Sam unearthed a black t-shirt with the word “bi” spelled out in thick white font, a little pink heart over the ‘i.’

“Hell yeah!” he said, waving it around. “I know what I’m wearing.”

“No fair!” Tony said. “I want one.”

“There’s a few of those in there, actually,” Sharon said. “This person came in and sold a bunch of her gay propaganda clothes because she was moving overseas.”

“That’s going to be you soon, Bunny,” Natasha said brightly, casting Stevie a pointed look.

Bunny stiffened, glaring over at her best friend, and Stevie’s heart sank.

“You should wear this, Stevie,” Bunny said, looking apologetic. She pulled a short sleeve button-up from the clothing pile. It was made of some kind of sheer shimmery material, ocean blue. “It will bring out your eyes. And it goes with that striped tank you’re wearing, too.”

“Cool,” Stevie said, a bit numb.

Bunny handed it to her, leaning in to kiss her. Stevie kissed her back, a wild swirl of emotions blind-siding her when Bunny pulled away to dive back into the pile. It was easy to forget that they only really had a few weeks left together. Especially because it was getting harder and harder to deny how much Bunny actually meant to her. She moved over to the couch and sat down with a sigh. Sam gave her a funny look — _What the hell was all that about?_ She shrugged — _Nothing._ He lifted an eyebrow — _Really?_ Stevie frowned — _Yes!_

“So what should I write on the first sign?” Sharon asked, as Riley worked on slicing one of the cardboard boxes down to neat rectangles.

“How about ‘We’re Here. We’re Queer. Don’t Fuck With Us’?” Tony asked, settling down next to her on the carpet. He now had two permanent markers tucked behind each ear, several wound up in his black hair, and several more hanging from the edge of his t-shirt collar. Sharon carefully plucked one from the nest in his hair, shaking her head in amusement.

“We need one that says ‘Silence equals Death,’ too,” Natasha said.

“I brought a red marker so we can rip off the D.A.R.E. logo,” Stevie offered. “You know, for the ‘Dykes Against Racism Everywhere’ thing.”

Natasha didn’t even bother to look up, but Sharon and Bunny both smiled at her encouragingly. Sam took it all in with one glance and then grinned over at Stevie, too.

“Good idea,” he said. He was in the middle of marking up one of the cardboard panels with a pencil. “I’m making one that says ‘Black Liberation, Queer Liberation.’”

“I’m so excited!” Bunny said, as she rummaged through her makeup kit.

“Damn, you have everything,” Riley said, peeking over her shoulder. “Is that edible glitter?”

“It sure is.”

“Do you still have that turquoise eyeliner?” Tony asked.

“Yep.” Bunny sprawled backwards across the floor, holding the sleek black case out to him.

Tony frowned, scooting away from her. “I don’t like being handed things, remember?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah—What are you doing? Get away!” Tony batted at Bunny’s hands as she crawled over and tackled him so that she could add the eyeliner to his hair nest.

Sam rolled his eyes and went to check out Bunny’s stash. “Ooh, look, Riles. I found some blue sparkly eyeshadow.”

“I’m thinking the black glitter lipstick,” Sharon said. “What do you think, Nat? Should we be twinsies?”

“Sure,” Natasha said, her serious façade finally breaking when Sharon wiggled her eyebrows at her.

“Do you want to try anything?” Bunny asked Stevie. “You don’t have to, but I do have almost everything you could possibly imagine.”

Stevie pushed all of her anxious thoughts about Natasha out of her head and focused on Bunny. Fortunately, it wasn’t too hard. She smiled. “Okay. The glitter, then. And I really liked that purple eyeliner you had on at Tony’s party.”

“Okay!” Bunny handed her the eyeliner.

Stevie bit her lip, her heart speeding up as she got an idea. “You know, I’ve never done this before, Bun. Can you do it for me?”

“Oh, _brother_ ,” Tony said, though it was probably supposed to be under his breath.

Bunny grinned down at her. “Sure.”

Before Stevie knew what was happening, the rest of the world was melting away. Bunny was straddling her on the couch, plucking the eyeliner from her fingers.

“Hold still, okay?” she said, a mischievous look in her eyes.

Stevie gulped. “Okay.” Bunny smelled so good, a strangely appealing mix of engine oil and Lava soap, plus coconut shampoo. She had put on some kind of lip gloss, and Stevie wondered if it was the same kind that she wore at the drive-in, a sense-memory of popcorn butter and strawberries flooding her mouth.

Bunny brushed a hand across Stevie’s brow, pushing her floppy bangs out of the way, letting her fingers trace across her temple and over the curve of one cheekbone.

“Close your eyes,” she said, and Stevie let her eyelids flutter shut.

She tried not to think about all of the things Bunny had crooned into her ear over the phone, tried not to let her near-perfect memory present her with even more sense-memories. The feel of Bunny’s tongue against hers, the curve of her neck, the sweet swell of her chest, her soft stomach, those strong thighs, muscles shifting underneath silky skin...and _fuck_ , she was done for, wasn’t she?

The eyeliner felt cold and Bunny’s hands were warm as she gently painted in the curve of each wing with long deft strokes. Stevie realized she was holding her breath, all of her senses focused intensely on the feel of Bunny in her lap, the weight of her, the soft puff of her breath across her face.

Bunny leaned back, and Stevie reached up to steady her, sinking her fingers into her waist.

“Hey, Nat, throw me the glitter and the Kabuki brush,” Bunny said, and Stevie didn’t miss the husky undertone in her voice.

She wrinkled her nose at the feel of the makeup brush against her skin, tickling across her cheekbones.

“Beautiful,” Bunny breathed, and Stevie opened her eyes. Bunny licked her lips. “I’m gonna wreck your makeup so bad later.”

Stevie stared up at her, absolutely certain her entire body was on the verge of imploding, or worse, exploding.

“Oh, yeah?” she managed, finally.

Bunny just winked and slid off her lap.


	8. Don't Stop Me Now (Queen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: Click link to jump to endnote

Stevie could feel her heart expanding as they approached the park where Natasha said everyone would be meeting up before marching. She’d been to the Pride March a few times with Sam, but never with such a big group, and certainly never looking as glammed out as they all did now. It was hard not to keep staring at Bunny, who was wearing a pair of bedazzled coveralls and black boots with iridescent platform soles. They made her just a little bit taller than Stevie, which she found irresistibly hot.

They were already surrounded by groups of marchers all heading to the same place, and that gave her enough courage to pull Bunny in against her. Her hair was up, and Stevie just wanted to press kisses to the back of her neck, where strands of hair drifted down, curling up in the humidity.

“You’re going to make us late,” Natasha snapped, her black, sparkly lips curling in distaste as she whirled on them.

“Natasha!” Melina said, frowning at her. “What’s gotten into you?”

Stevie dropped Bunny like she’d suddenly become a hot potato. She wouldn’t have felt so chastised if literally anyone had yelled at her other than Natasha.

“What are you, Nat, a cockblocker?” Bunny asked, shaking her head. “Sorry, Melina,” she said, when Natasha’s aunt transferred her disapproving gaze to her.

Natasha just rolled her eyes and picked up her pace. Sharon ran to catch up with her, throwing Stevie a look over her shoulder, her mouth scrunching up in apology.

“Kids these days,” Melina muttered.

Bunny wrapped an arm around Stevie’s waist, squeezing. “Don’t worry, Stevie. It’s not personal.”

“It sure doesn’t feel like it,” Stevie muttered, staring at the back of Natasha’s head.

“You’re not that special,” Tony said. “She hates everyone except Bunny and Sharon.”

“That’s not true,” Melina said. “She’s just having a lot of emotions right now. You know how she feels about Pride. It started as a riot, and now they want to commercialize it. We can’t let people forget.”

“I know, Ms. Vostokoff,” Tony said, sighing. “Maybe it’s more accurate to say that she only really loves Bunny and Sharon. And, oh wow” — he slicked his hair back — “I gotta go talk to that person over there. Catch up with you later.”

“That guy,” Riley laughed. “What a character.”

“At least you don’t have to work with him,” Sam said. “He spends three-quarters of his time flirting with people on the floor and the last quarter playing his fancy new Game Boy and ignoring every customer that comes up to the counter.”

Stevie smiled at that, but truly, she couldn’t help looking around, too. She had always loved people-watching at Pride. So many gorgeous humans in one place, burning proud and bright, walking strong and steady. It gave her hope that one day they’d all be free, and it made her feel like love was real in a way that she hardly ever got to see reflected in day-to-day life.

She could feel the excitement building in the crowd as the march started. They were near the end of the pack, so it took a little bit of waiting. Enough for her to get a good look at the random people and cops gawking at them from the sidelines.

“Join us!” Tony said, wielding the ‘Silence Equals Death’ sign, but all he got was blank looks.

“I don’t know why you bother,” Bunny said.

They marched down the main street in town, motorcycles zooming up to each intersection to block the way for them as they passed, preventing traffic from crossing through the parade. People laid on their horns, yelling out their windows, though half the time Stevie couldn’t actually tell if they were in support or against. Sometimes, though, based on their expressions, it was really easy to tell. She wondered if Bunny’s dad was that bad.

“We’re Here! We’re Queer! Get Used to It!” The chant raised up ahead, and they all joined in. The roar of voices sounding out in unison around them made the hair stand up on the back of Stevie’s neck. She shivered at the power of it and held the ‘Dykes Against Racism Everywhere’ sign higher, watching the cops out of the corner of her eye as they marched past. Their presence was a reminder of all the work that still needed to be done, and she hoped they would stay out of it when the rally started at the end of the march.

She had no idea how long they marched, though Natasha said it couldn’t have been more than forty-five minutes. They ended up at a park on the other end of town, and the organizers set up speakers and started playing music. Stevie hefted her backpack off her back and unloaded all of their goodies onto the blanket that Natasha and Sharon had spread out: Natasha’s freshly baked cookies, Doritos, candy bars, soda, but also water and fresh rolls from the Vietnamese deli down the street, because Melina said she didn’t want to deal with a bunch of hyperactive teenagers at home later.

They stayed to watch the sunset, sweaty and tired from chanting, dancing, and stuffing themselves full of food. Under the cover of twilight, Stevie leaned against Bunny again, nosing along the soft curve of her neck, marveling at the sensation of being a little shorter than her.

“Come here,” Bunny whispered, tilting her chin up to kiss her, and Stevie melted into it, hands skating over Bunny’s hips, pulling her closer.

“I’m gonna unzip your coveralls with my teeth later,” she whispered back, in a brief respite between kisses.

Bunny just kissed her harder, licking into her mouth, until some indeterminable time later, Stevie heard the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Um,” Sam said. “I think everyone’s getting ready to go.”

“Mmphf,” Stevie said, snatching her hand back from Bunny’s chest and turning to look at Sam in the fading light. “What?”

Actually, they were all standing there and staring, Sharon with a little smirk on her face, Natasha glaring, Melina smiling beatifically like some queer saint of old, Tony rolling his eyes so hard Stevie was scared they might pop out and roll away across the grass, Riley raising his eyebrows, and Sam pressing his lips together in a clear attempt not to laugh. She looked at Bunny, who had somehow gotten extremely disheveled, her coveralls half-open, her hair spilling down over one shoulder, purple lipstick smeared all over the lower half of her face.

“Damn,” she said, reaching up to wipe at it futilely with her thumb. “Sorry, Bunny.”

“You were, like, full-on making out,” Sam said, in awe. “It was like the party all over again.”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” Tony said. “I was wondering when the sequel was going to come out.”

“Um, also, we need you to move so we can fold up the blanket,” Sharon said, laughing.

Stevie was glad it was too dark now for any of them to see her face.

When they got back to the house, they all ate one of Tony’s fancy cookies, even Melina. She helped Natasha and Sharon bring down what seemed to be every single pillow and blanket in the house, and they all set up a giant communal bed in the living room. Stevie wondered how the hell she was going to get her hands on Bunny again when everyone else was _right there_.

They watched two movies in a row: _The Last Dragon_ and _Ghostbusters_ , and after that Melina went to bed. Then Natasha and Sharon disappeared off somewhere, Sam and Riley claimed the big couch, and Tony passed out in the most inconvenient place, sprawled out in the middle of the living room floor so that Stevie and Bunny would pretty much have to sleep next to him if they expected to lie down.

Stevie was trying to keep her eyes open, but the weed made it hard, everything slow and melting around her. It sounded like Sam and Riley were maybe having a little fun on the couch. Stevie looked down at Bunny, who was curled up in her arms. She was still awake, her eyes shining mischievously in the low light.

“Wanna finish wrecking my makeup?” Stevie asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Bunny grinned and pushed her down against the carpet, sliding on top of her. Sam and Riley were right above them, so Stevie tried scooting them over, but then they ran into Tony, who murmured in his sleep and rolled over to throw an arm over both of them.

“Oh my God,” Stevie muttered. Bunny buried her face in Stevie’s neck, shaking with laughter.

Stevie lifted his arm and placed it on the floor between them, her breath hitching with surprise as Bunny caught her mouth, surging up against her.

In the end, they didn’t get very far before passing out, and when Stevie woke in the morning, her eyes fluttering open at the same time that Bunny’s did, it was to find that they had fallen asleep curled up into each other, their lips still touching.

* * *

When Bunny finally managed to drag herself home at five in the afternoon, after an extremely late brunch followed by a searing makeout session with Stevie in the downstairs powder room, her dad was sitting in the living room waiting for her. She didn’t see him at first, her heart skipping a beat when he stood up from the couch. He was still in his work clothes, his eyes intense.

“Dad,” she said, her skin crawling with danger. “What are you doing?”

“How about you tell me?” her dad said, crossing his arms.

Bunny tensed immediately in response. She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. She hadn’t done anything wrong, had she? She had told her dad the whole truth. It wasn’t her problem he couldn’t deal with it.

“I told you I was going to the Pride March and then Natasha’s for the night,” she said.

He scoffed. “I’ve had about enough of this, Bunny.”

“Enough of what?” she asked, throwing up her hands in frustration.

“What are you going to do when you get to Cambridge, huh? Keep up this lifestyle, and they’ll be sending you home in less than a month.”

Bunny glared at him. “What lifestyle do you mean, exactly?”

“This,” he said, motioning up and down her body. “This sort of debauchery.”

“Dad, like I told you, I went to a march. It was a political act, not debauchery. We were celebrating our community.”

“Is that what Natasha told you?”

“What is it with you and Natasha? This has nothing to do with her. Leave her out of it.”

“That girl is a bad influence on you.”

Bunny scoffed. “Actually, she’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

“Last I remember, you were mooning over those guys in _Miami Vice_ and talking about the boys you wanted to go to homecoming with. Then you met Natasha, and all of a sudden you’re out there in the streets with all the other rabble-rousers, claiming to be one of them.”

“God, what have you been doing in your free time, collecting ammo?” Bunny asked. “Yeah, so I was into guys for a little bit. But I’ve known what I really am for a good while now. Meeting Natasha helped me realize it, yeah, but that doesn’t make it any less real.”

“You’re going down a dangerous road, Bunny. After a certain point, there’s no turning back, you realize that? And what if you get the virus? Have you thought about that?”

“It doesn’t just happen to gay people, Dad,” she said. “Besides, it’s not like I’m sleeping around right now or anything.”

He grimaced at that, turning his head away. “All it takes is one mistake.”

Bunny was too tired for this shit. She started to walk through to the stairs, freezing when her dad stood up and cut her off.

“That girl’s got you all confused, don’t you see it? You were such a sweet, innocent little kid, and now I barely recognize you.”

“That’s because you stopped paying attention,” Bunny spat out.

“No, Bunny. I know you, and this isn’t it.”

“You’re wrong, Dad,” she said, choking on tears. “You’ve been seeing exactly what you wanted to see for years now.”

“Don’t be melodramatic.”

“Can you move, please? I’d like to go to my room.”

He hesitated a moment, then moved out of the way, shaking his head at her as she passed.

When Bunny got to her room, she felt like she was shaking apart. Too much had built up behind her poor heart, rage that he wouldn’t grant her the dignity of choice, sadness that he refused to see who she really was. There simply wasn’t enough space to let it all out without falling apart completely. She curled up on her bed, cradling her purple plush rabbit against her chest and trying her best to breathe through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
>  _Period-typical Attitudes, Cops mentioned but no interaction_


	9. That’s All I Want From You (Etta James)

This summer was turning out to be the best summer of Stevie’s life. She and Bunny hung out nearly every day now. When they didn’t get to see each other, she would spend the entire day waiting for night to come, so she could call Bunny on the garage phone. They talked about almost everything — except for Bunny’s dad, except for Cambridge.

They spent a lot of time at Stevie’s apartment, Bunny poring over the books and fawning over the records. Bunny got along really well with her mom, so much so that sometimes Stevie just stepped back and let them talk. It turned out that Bunny was a Pisces Sun, Capricorn Moon, and Cancer Rising, which her mom said made so much sense.

Some days, they had impromptu dance parties, taking turns to deejay sets for each other. If Stevie’s mom wasn’t home, this usually led to getting hot and heavy on the scratchy couch or on Stevie’s narrow bed, but sometimes they ended up just talking, too. Stevie loved talking to Bunny just as much as being physical.

The rest of the time they hung around the mall, working on their high scores at the arcade. Stevie was easily the master of _Dungeons & Dragons_ pinball, but she had nothing on Bunny when it came to _Dig Dug_. Of course, neither of them could compare to Sam, Riley, and Tony, who were there all the time and knew the games inside and out. Natasha and Sharon tagged along sometimes, too, though it was still pretty awkward with Natasha, who seemed to get perverse pleasure out of reminding Stevie that Bunny was leaving for England at the end of the summer. There were only a few weeks left now, though Stevie did her best to ignore that and focus on the moment.

She was in the middle of brushing her teeth when she heard the intercom ring. Her heart skipped a beat, and she rushed out of the bathroom to buzz Bunny in, running back to rinse at the kitchen sink. She had just wiped her mouth on a towel when a knock sounded at the door.

“Hey!” she said, breathless, as she yanked the door open.

Bunny smiled at her, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She looked more tired than usual. And sad.

“Rough day?” Stevie asked.

Bunny shrugged, crowding Stevie back so that she could close the door and lock it. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Bunny sighed.

“I need you to help me forget about the world.”

Stevie sucked in a breath. “Okay, Bun.”

She lifted her hands to cradle Bunny’s face, wondering if she should try asking if Bunny wanted to talk about it. She knew things hadn’t been good at home for awhile now, and it made her heart ache that she couldn’t do more to help with that.

“I made you something,” she said, smiling as Bunny’s eyes lit up.

“Awww. That’s sweet, Stevie. What is it?”

Stevie padded over to the record player, swiping a cassette tape off the lid and presenting it to Bunny proudly.

“I’ve been planning it for weeks,” she said. “I think I got it, but you’ll have to tell me what you think.”

Bunny took it from her hands, smiling at the illustration on the front of the insert. It was the two of them cruising in her Trans Am, T-tops off, wind blowing in their hair. Above, in big purple script, Stevie had written: Bunny Hunny’s KICKASS Summer Mix XOXO. **  
**

“Hah, ‘Crimson and Clover,’” Bunny said. “I love that song.”

“Yeah?”

“Lots of good songs to make out to.” Bunny lifted an eyebrow. “I’m sensing an ulterior motive.”

Stevie flushed. “What can I say, Bun? I’m hot-blooded, check it and see.”

Bunny snorted. “You’re ridiculous, Rogers. Quoting Foreigner lyrics at me? Really?” But Stevie could see how pleased she was. Most of the other people she’d dated hadn’t had half of Bunny’s sense of humor. It made her want to wrap her arms around her and not let go, which was terrifying, to say the least. Things were going way too fast already, though she couldn’t imagine letting up on the gas pedal.

“Wanna put it on?” Stevie asked.

Bunny smirked, holding Stevie’s gaze as she took the tape out of the case and handed it over.

“You do the honors,” she said.

There was a brief moment of silence layered with the warm hiss and pops of vinyl transferred to cassette, and then Joan Jett’s sultry intro filled the room, slow and heavy guitar riffs setting the kind of mood that made Stevie feel like she might catch fire. She met Bunny’s eyes, and Bunny just looked back, eyes skipping over her face like she was trying to memorize her or something. Stevie couldn’t bear to see that, and so she kissed her, gentle. Bunny stepped back, shrugging out of her denim vest and throwing it on the couch, and Stevie put her hands on Bunny’s shoulders.

“Let’s go slow tonight,” she said, and Bunny nodded at her wordlessly.

She pulled Bunny close, sliding her hands underneath Bunny’s shirt and pressing her palms into the warm, soft curve of her back. Bunny followed her into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Stevie’s shoulders and squeezing hard. Stevie chased her mouth, and Bunny let her have one searing wet kiss before pulling away.

“This is slow to you?” she asked, trapping Stevie’s face in her hands, peppering her skin with soft little kisses.

“Sorry,” Stevie said, relaxing into Bunny’s touch. “I’ll behave.”

Bunny laughed. “I don’t believe you.”

“I said slow, I’ll go slow.”

Bunny just watched her for a moment, still stroking her face with soft fingers, and when she kissed Stevie this time, there was a sad edge to it. Stevie did her best to chase it away, pouring everything she had into showing Bunny how much she liked her. But, then again, maybe she should have been doing the opposite. Maybe she should have held some of it back, because after a minute, Bunny was pulling away again.

“Sorry, Stevie,” she said, slipping out of Stevie’s arms and going over to sit on the couch.

‘Need Some Love’ by Rush was playing now, raunchy and upbeat and completely the opposite of the mood in the room. Stevie reached over to stop the tape player.

“I’m so sorry,” Bunny said again. “I really love it. You’re so good at making mixtapes. I’m just in a weird mood today.” She still had that sad, lost look in her eyes, so Stevie came to sit next to her, resolving to do what she probably should have done weeks ago. They couldn’t keep barreling on like this. They had to face the music.

“Bunny—”

“Are we, like, exclusive?” Bunny asked.

Stevie froze, swallowing hard. “I mean, that’s what I assumed after we went and got tested.”

“So, like, we’re unofficially together, basically?” Bunny slumped back against the cushions.

“I guess...” Stevie began awkwardly.

“Well, I wish we could be officially together,” Bunny said, collapsing against her and bursting into tears.

 _Fuck_. Stevie pulled Bunny into her arms, panicking a little bit as she tried to figure out what to do. She was terrible at this sort of thing. She rarely even cried herself, and she never could do it in front of other people. It was a deeply ingrained defense mechanism, and it made her feel like a monster to not even be able to muster up a few tears in commiseration with Bunny’s sadness.

“Oh, Bunny,” she said. “I know this is kind of weird. If only—” She stopped herself before she could say something that might lend false hope. She had nothing to lose, but Bunny did. She had to remember that.

But Bunny had already caught that, sucking in a breath and holding it, trembling against Stevie as she waited to hear the rest of the sentence.

Stevie sighed. “I’m glad you’re getting out of this town and going somewhere new, Bun. I think Cambridge is going to be more amazing than you can even imagine. I think it’s going to change your life.” It wasn’t what she wanted to say, but what she knew she should say.

“You think so, huh?” Bunny said, her voice small and disappointed.

“Yeah,” Stevie said, even though it made everything feel so much worse. Why _couldn’t_ they be together? People had put up with much more than what they were facing and made it work. Why couldn’t they? But then again, those people loved each other, and what she and Bunny had...she didn’t know if she should call it love. She didn’t know what to call it.

“Can we watch a movie?” Bunny asked, going limp against her.

“Yeah, Bun,” Stevie said quietly. “I’ve got a few VHSes, or we could walk down to the video store and rent something.”

“I can’t go anywhere in public like this.”

“I could go, if you give me a couple of movies to pick from.”

“No.” Bunny burrowed further into Stevie’s arms. “What movies do you have?”

“Um,” Stevie squinted at the shelf across the room. “ _My Neighbor Totoro_?”

“I’ve seen that like a billion times with Nat.”

“ _Better Off Dead_?”

“Mmm, I can’t handle that right now.”

“Okay, um, _Thrashin’_?”

Bunny shook her head.

“ _The Karate Kid_?”

“I have it memorized.”

“How about _Return to Oz_?” Stevie asked. “That’s your last choice.”

Bunny sat back, her brow furrowed. “I don’t think I’ve seen it.”

Stevie’s eyes widened. “What? Oh my God, Bun, we have to watch it! It’s so good! It’s bizarre and creepy. Not like the Judy Garland movie at all.”

“Okay.”

“There’s lunchpail trees,” Stevie said, getting up to pull the VHS from the shelf so she could show it to her. “Can you imagine how convenient? Just walk up to a tree and harvest an entire lunchpail?”

“I love when you get excited about stuff.”

Stevie grinned. “Do you want to watch it, then?”

“Yes!” Bunny said. “And can we order a pizza? I’ll buy. I just got paid.”

“We can split it.”

“I’ll buy,” Bunny said firmly.

* * *

The movie was as bizarre as Stevie had promised, and a little grotesque, too. Bunny loved so much about it. The creepy asylum with the undead-looking orderlies. The serious little kid they had cast as Dorothy Gale. The talking chicken, Billina. The lunchpail trees. Tick-Tock the disastrously inept wind-up soldier. Mr. Gump the mounted head of an animal that resembled a moose (except for the fact that his fur was green). Princess Mombi, with her pasty complexion, gold nails, and her collection of heads. The creepy Wheelers, who rolled around on all fours with fantastic makeup and an impressive show of flexibility. She even liked Jack, the hapless child-like scarecrow with a pumpkin head, even though Stevie said she found him annoying.

Stevie held her close as they watched, her shoulder making the perfect pillow as the two of them stretched out on the couch. It didn’t take long for Bunny to hitch her leg up over Stevie’s legs, nor for Stevie to rest a warm hand on her thigh. As cheesy as it might sound to say out loud, Bunny had to admit that it all felt a little bit like being in heaven.

The pizza arrived about halfway through the movie, and Stevie ran down to get it. Bunny made to get up when Stevie got back with it, but Stevie wasn’t having it, plating a couple of slices for her and pouring a soda into a nice glass.

“Mushroom and onion with extra cheese, just how you like it,” Stevie said, handing her the plate and then the soda.

“I get a nice glass and everything,” Bunny murmured, smiling up over the edge of it as she took a sip.

“Yep.” Stevie grinned back, playing at being casual, but there was something deeper flashing in her eyes.

Bunny put her plate and glass aside. “Stevie...”

Stevie’s grin was going soft, transforming into something else, until she was just standing there looking vaguely uncomfortable in a way Bunny hadn’t seen before.

“You’re being real sweet to me, Stevie,” she said. “I like it.”

“I like you,” Stevie said, then bit her lip, her cheeks going pink.

“I know.” The tension was drawing out in the air between them, and Bunny wondered at how easily they had gone from being carefree to being cautious again. She wouldn’t want to go back, though. She would rather have this awkwardness and know that Stevie’s kisses meant something than keep on fucking her without having it mean anything at all.

Bunny’s stomach rumbled, the smell of the pizza overcoming her other bodily needs for the moment. She laughed softly and picked up her plate again, taking a huge bite. Stevie retrieved her own plate and detoured by the TV to press play on the VCR player before settling in right next to her, their thighs pressing together in a pleasant line of warmth.

Bunny ate pizza until she was stuffed, and between the two of them, they housed the entire thing easily. Stevie groaned as Bunny stretched out next to her again, and Bunny lifted a hand to rub her stomach gently. It really did seem like it was bulging out more than usual.

“Ate too much, huh?” she asked.

“Mmmhmmm.” Stevie sounded sleepy.

“My grandfather always used to say I had a hollow leg,” Bunny said. “I was always hungry. I’m still like that. You know, at school, I used to eat everyone’s leftovers at lunch. On top of my own lunch.”

Stevie pinched her side, and Bunny squeaked, squirming against her.

“What was that for?”

“I dunno,” Stevie said. “I just felt like it.”

Bunny lifted her head, and Stevie was looking at her with half-lidded contentment, a sly smirk on her lips. Bunny could feel her fingers spreading out against her waist, molding to the curve of it and pressing into the flesh, kneading softly. She slid her hand up Stevie’s belly, stopping in the center of her chest, right over her sternum. She could feel Stevie’s heartbeat, the barest hint of a flutter against her palm. Stevie pulled her closer, muscles flexing hard against Bunny’s side, and her body keened helplessly at the feel of it. She let her hand slide further up, palm dragging slowly across her nipple, feeling it firm up underneath her hand. She pulled Stevie’s t-shirt aside, careful not to stretch the collar too much, and leaned across to press a kiss to the soft skin of her collarbone.

She felt Stevie sigh underneath her, her other hand coming up to Bunny’s back, warm against her shoulder blades. Bunny resolved not to let the moment get away from her again, pushing away the sadness she felt knowing that this was one of a very finite amount of moments left to them. She was a logical person when she needed to be. That’s what had gotten her through school when she didn’t think she would be able to make it. That’s what had kept her going at the garage, when she’d had to be persistent in asking her dad and her coworkers to teach her. And that’s what was going to carry her through this night. This was about her body needing sex, and Stevie was right there wanting it, too. It didn’t need to be more complicated than that right now.

They didn’t see the end of the movie, but she didn’t mind. Stevie was practically melting underneath her, and then they were shucking off their clothes and finding the soft, sweet places of each other. Life always seemed simpler when all there was to think about was the feel of Stevie’s skin against hers, the touch of her mouth and her hands. She could pretend, for a little while, that there was nothing dangerous about the fires that they had been stoking in each other all summer, no matter how bright and hot they might burn.

* * *

[Bunny Hunny's KICKASS Summer Mix XOXO](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KM2U6oRxg2ddxUqHXiOAc?si=_pW-FbSbRm2WzsGiCBhOiw) on Spotify.

**Side A:**

Crimson & Clover - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Need Some Love - Rush

You Drive Me Wild - The Runaways

Rosalie - Thin Lizzy

C'mon Let's Go - Girlschool

Evening Star - Judas Priest

Only You Can Rock Me - UFO

I'll Be With You Tonight - Cheap Trick

Loving You Sunday Morning - Scorpions

(Love Me Like Music) I'll Be Your Song - Heart

For Those Who Love To Live - Thin Lizzy

Free Money - Patti Smith

**Side B:**

Lipstick Traces - UFO

Thunder - The Runaways

Stiff Competition - Cheap Trick

I'll Keep It With Mine - Nico

Do You Wanna Touch Me - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Built for Comfort - UFO

Best I Can - Rush

How Deep It Goes - Heart

Troubleshooter - Judas Priest

I'll Be Your Mirror - The Velvet Underground & Nico

Nothing to Lose - Girlschool

Wild One - Thin Lizzy

Because the Night - Patti Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re wondering, Bunny (3/10/1972) is a Pisces Sun, Capricorn Moon, and Cancer Rising.  
> Stevie (7/4/1971) is a Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, and Virgo Rising.
> 
> Just for fun: [Your completely queer guide to horoscope hookups](https://www.autostraddle.com/your-completely-queer-guide-to-horoscope-hookups-156790/)


	10. A Little Respect (Erasure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: click link to jump to endnote

When Bunny got home from Stevie’s late that night, her dad was sitting out on the front stoop, drinking a Budweiser, five empty cans sitting next to him.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” he said when he saw her. “Do you know how long I’ve been sittin’ out here, waiting for you to get home?”

“I told you I was going out, Dad.” She stepped closer but he didn’t budge, staring up at her with bleary eyes, a deep crease in his forehead.

“Parents have a tough job,” he said, his voice echoing across the quiet street, the edges of his words slurring together. “We’re all just trying to do our best to make sure our kids are safe, healthy, and happy, but you’re not making it that easy on me, you understand?”

“Geez, Dad, you’re really drunk,” she said, her heart hammering. “Let’s go inside.”

“When you’re older and have your own kids, you’ll understand,” he continued, as if she hadn’t spoken at all.

“I’m not gonna have kids,” Bunny said. “And even if I did, I sure as hell would respect them more than you respect me.”

“Huh, funny,” he said, taking a long swig of his beer. “Seems to me you’ve got it all backwards. Seems to me _you_ are supposed to respect _me_. Seems to me that’s the way it works, Bunny. Only you haven’t respected me for a long time. I never thought it would get this bad, yet here you are givin’ me lip, staying out all hours of the night, barely maintaining your civility with Bill and Joe at the shop, flaunting your lesbian lifestyle, like it’s some kind of honorable thing.”

“It’s not a lifestyle, Dad,” she said, keeping her voice as level as she could. She knew she was at a disadvantage here, tired and crashing out from all the emotions that had come up for her at Stevie’s. She had to be careful. If she let her anger get the better of her, she’d end up looking like the spoiled brat her dad was sure she was.

“Everything I’ve done I’ve done for you, kid,” her dad continued, talking impossibly louder now. “And now look at you.”

“Shhh, Dad. Please. The neighbors are gonna call the cops. Let’s go—”

“You’re an opportunist, taking advantage of my good nature, forcing your point of view on me and on your coworkers at the shop, mooching your paychecks off the business.”

Bunny was taken aback by that. “Are you serious? I work just as hard as any of the other guys.”

Her dad scoffed, gesturing with the beer can. “Half the time, it’s you working on your own car. Or your friend’s cars, when we’ve been slammed with jobs lately. Didn’t see you stepping in to help with that.”

“I would have if they let me!” Bunny shouted. “But none of them want my help! And you’re the one who didn’t even want me to be working in the shop in the first place!”

“Yes, but you insisted, and now that I’ve invested in your training, I expect results, you understand? You might be my kid, but I’m no mollycoddler who’s gonna set a double standard just because of that. You want to be respected in the shop, you’ve got to earn your place.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” Bunny said, scoffing. “All I have to do is work a little harder, and all of a sudden everyone will start treating me like an equal. I see. It’s all my fault, huh? It’s not sexism at all, it’s just me.”

“Sexism, what sexism? I’m an equal opportunity employer. It’s not my fault most women can’t figure out how to use a wrench even if their lives depended on it.”

“Ugh!” Bunny tilted her head back to stare at the night sky. She hated him so much right now. It was a white-hot flare burning in her chest, so bright she was almost blinded with it. “I can’t do this right now, Dad.”

“Of course you can’t!” he shouted, knocking over his row of empty cans. They rattled loudly onto the sidewalk. “You kids want everything handed to you these days. You don’t want to work for anything, and the second someone says something you don’t want to hear, you run for it. Your whole generation is spineless. You lack character, integrity, and work ethic.”

“Jesus _Christ_ , Dad. Will you stop?”

“I told you not to take the Lord’s name in vain!”

“Enough with that already! I haven’t even seen you look twice at a church in years.”

“I _told_ you, it’s disrespectful. But you don’t care, do you? Your generation is going down the drain, and you’re taking the world down with you.”

Bunny pressed a hand over her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. She probably hadn’t had enough water to drink today, but also, her dad always did this to her. He was always so...angry. And so, so wrong. He would never understand her. Never.

“I’m telling you this for your own good,” he continued. “You think you can sail by in college like you did these last four years, well, you’re in for a nasty surprise, young lady. You’d better get it together, and fast.”

“Sail by?” Bunny gritted out, feeling like she might vibrate into pieces at any moment now. “Sail by? I literally worked my ass off at school _and_ at the garage. I didn’t even really start going out till this summer, Dad. It’s been like, what, a few weeks? What’s a few weeks of letting loose compared to four years of being a goody two-shoes, Dad?”

“For Chr— For goodness sakes,” her dad said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You wouldn’t know a good work ethic even if it bit you in the nose.”

Bunny sighed, her heart hurting. “Does being the valedictorian of my high school mean so little, Dad?”

Her dad scoffed. “There’s more to life than labels, Jamie.”

She dodged past him and down the alley, heading for the back door. She thought she might die if she had to endure his disappointed gaze any longer. She couldn’t stay in this house. It wasn’t even her home. It hadn’t been for awhile; she just hadn’t wanted to accept it.

She thought she had experienced heartbreak before, but it was nothing like this. It felt like she was bleeding out, her chest cracked wide open for the whole world to see.

Once in her bedroom, she dove into her closet, dragging out a duffel bag, hands shaking, head pounding.

 _Clean underwear and socks are important_ , her brain told her, and she scooped a handful from her dresser.

Shirts. She grabbed them haphazardly. Clean or dirty. It didn’t matter.

She packed her things mechanically, and when she was done, she stood senseless in the middle of the room, the unreality of the moment pressing in against her. Her dad had followed her up and was wavering there in the door, his arms crossed.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Somewhere else.” Bunny cast about for her keys, finding them in one of her denim vest pockets.

“I’ll take the keys.”

“Are you serious?”

He stepped forward, and it was like he was growing in size right before her eyes, towering over her.

Bunny blinked up at him, fumbling with the keys, trying to get the key to the Trans Am off the ring.

“I don’t want you driving while you’re upset,” he said. “Especially not that lemon.”

“Oh my God!” Bunny said. “What, are you afraid I’ll succumb to an attack of hysteria or something?”

“Hand them over,” her dad shouted. “You insist on being treated like an adult, well fine. We’re going to sit down and have a serious talk.”

Bunny fought against the instinct to shrink back from him. “It’s too late. I don’t want to talk to you. You’re an idiot.”

“Jamie Berenice, you settle down right now, or so help me God...”

The car had to stay, she realized. She’d rebuilt it with dirty money, hadn’t she? Paychecks her dad had signed. She worked hard for that money, but in the end, it wasn’t separate, was it? He could still hold it over her. He still thought he owned her. That had to end now. She threw the keys at his face and snatched up her duffel bag.

“You know what, Dad? You can keep the car. I don’t even care.” She ignored the terror that shot through her entire body at the idea that she would have to push past him to get out of the room.

She did it. She pushed past, forcing her dad out of the way, and careened down the stairs and out the front door.

Out on the street, the panic began to set in. She felt exposed standing there illuminated by streetlights, the silent windows on the houses glaring down at her as if the whole neighborhood was just waiting for her to give up and die.

She took a deep breath, forcing herself to think, nearly breaking down into tears as an image of Stevie floated into her mind unbidden. No. She absolutely could not think of Stevie right now. Absolutely not. She focused on bright red hair. The sardonic curl of a mouth. Eyes that seemed to see through anything and anybody.

There was a 24-hour greasy spoon a couple of streets away. Papa Bear’s. Bunny checked her jeans pocket, relieved to feel the jingle of change. She was gonna call Natasha. She didn’t know what else to do other than that. It was like there was no ground to stand on anymore. She was sliding down an endless tunnel in the dark.

It took three tries to get the damn quarter into the payphone slot. The payphone was right at the entrance to Papa Bear’s, in the glass entryway between the street and the diner. She leaned against the glass, phone pressed to her ear, and listened to it ring.

“Hello?” a sleepy voice answered.

Bunny closed her eyes, willing herself to stay calm.

“Um...” she said, her voice barely even. “Can I speak to Natasha?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. Hold on.”

She heard the voice yelling something in the background, interspersed with what sounded like a few sentences in Russian, and then it was back.

“She’s at Sharon’s.”

“Okay,” Bunny said. “Can you tell her Bunny called?”

“Oh! Bunny! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Natasha’s cousin, Yelena. What’s happened? Are you okay?”

“No,” Bunny said, barely managing to get the words around the burn in her throat. She was really losing it now, tears running down her face. This was as far ahead as she’d thought. Call Natasha. She hadn’t been able to imagine the possibility that she might not be home.

Bunny jumped as a dapper old man pulled the outer door open, pausing in the entryway to stare at her.

“Where are you?” Yelena asked.

“Are you okay?” the old man asked, at the same time, the stereo effect of it dizzying.

The man’s eyes looked kind behind the lenses of his aviator frames, white hair slicked back along a receding hairline, a matching white mustache adorning her upper lip. He was taking in Bunny’s rumpled clothes, the duffel bag at her feet.

“Bunny?” Yelena said again. “Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

“I’m at...Papa Bear’s. It’s a...diner on...” Bunny broke into a sob, curling up around the pain in her chest.

“I know where it is, honey,” Yelena said. “I’ll be right there. Sit tight, okay?”

“Yeah,” Bunny said, hanging up the phone. She looked at the guy. “I’m...okay, thanks.”

The old man frowned. “Why don’t you come inside, kid? I’ll get you something. Whatever you want. Root beer float? Ice cream sundae? French fries?”

“It’s okay,” Bunny said.“Someone’s coming to get me” —she hiccuped— “and I’m not really hungry. Thanks, though.”

She was pretty sure anything she tried to eat right now would come hurling right back out.

“Hmmm,” the old man said, looking unconvinced. “Okay, well. I’ll be right in there. Come find me if you need anything.”

Bunny nodded. “Thanks.”

When Yelena pulled up in Natasha’s aunt’s battered old Datsun, the old man stood up at his booth and watched Bunny walk out to the car through the plate-glass window of the diner.

“Who’s that guy?” Yelena asked.

“He’s nice,” Bunny said. “He saw me crying and wanted to buy me some food.”

“Aw,” Yelena said, waving to him before she shifted into reverse and backed out of the parking spot.

They were quiet on the way back to Natasha’s house, Bunny trying not to be too obvious about checking Yelena out. She was blond, with a soft, kind face, but she carried herself with the same kind of intensity that Natasha had. And she had that same way of looking through people, like she could see more than most.

When they pulled up in front of the house, she shifted into neutral and let the engine idle.

“Aunt Mel’s gonna take care of you until I get back with Nat, okay?”

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, a fresh wave of tears springing to her eyes.

Once inside the house, Melina made her lie back on the couch. She got out a small cast-iron bowl and dropped some burning leaves into it, swirling the smoke all around the room.

“Laurel leaves,” she said. “It’s a good stress remedy. Breath deep, Bunny.”

Bunny took big breaths, glad that she wasn’t asking her to talk about what happened. She wasn’t sure she would be able to. At least not without Natasha there.

A little while later, the front door opened and Natasha was rushing over to her, collapsing on her knees by the couch and wrapping her arms around her.

“Bunny, what happened?”

Bunny met her eyes, her chest tearing open all over again.

“I just couldn’t handle it anymore,” she said. “He’s just so awful.”

Natasha closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t tell her the whole story. At least not right away. Instead, she spent the rest of the night stuffing herself full of snacks and talking with Natasha and her family about music, movies, comics, art... It was nothing she would have ever thought to ask for, but it was everything she needed and more.

Early that morning, as she was finally getting to bed, she got Stevie’s mixtape out of her denim vest pocket, reading through the song list again. It was a good mix, and Bunny wondered about some of the songs. This was the kind of thing someone might make for their significant other, but she wasn’t Stevie’s anything, was she? They were just...temporary.

It was strange to realize she didn’t feel like listening to it, and worse, she didn’t feel like thinking about Stevie, at all.

* * *

Nearly a week went past before Stevie heard from Bunny again. It was like she had dropped off the face of the earth. She had worried herself into a frenzy the first two days, reviewing their last night together over and over in her head, but as far as she could tell, they had parted on good terms. Yeah, Bunny had been a little sad still, but she had kissed Stevie goodbye and left with a smile on her face. It hadn’t seemed like anything was wrong between them, at least.

By the third day, she couldn’t help but try calling the garage phone after hours. It rang and rang until someone finally picked it up, but it was Bunny’s dad, so Stevie hung up without saying anything, her heart pounding. A couple of days later, she had worked up the nerve to ride her bike past the garage. The Trans Am was still there, tucked away in a corner, but there was no sign of Bunny.

It was Thursday evening when Bunny finally called her and told her what happened. Stevie did her best not to let the nasty feelings rise up in the back of her throat. She was supposed to be sympathizing with Bunny for having to deal with her ignorant dad, but instead, she just felt...angry, which was a horrible thing she wished she could change about herself.

“Sorry I didn’t call sooner,” Bunny said. “I’ve just been...preoccupied with everything that happened.”

“Where are you?” she asked, trying to focus on what she could do to help, and not on why Bunny didn’t call sooner. “Do you need a place to stay?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m staying with Natasha.”

The nasty feeling crawled further up Stevie’s throat, threatening to spill out of her mouth. She swallowed it back, hard. “I see.”

Bunny sighed. “Now is not the time.”

“What?”

“I can’t handle the weird thing you two have going on.”

Stevie scoffed. “That’s on her, Bunny. I tried, I really did. She doesn’t like me.”

“It’s not that.”

“Well, what is it, then?”

“It’s not important.”

 _The fuck it isn’t_ , Stevie thought, biting her tongue hard. “Why bring it up, then?”

“You’re the one who got all weird about me spending time with my best friend,” Bunny shot back.

Stevie’s hard-won control slipped, anger flushing all the way through her. “No, actually, _she’s_ the one who’s been all weird about _you_ spending time with _me_ since, like, the moment we met.”

“Yeah, well. She doesn’t really trust you.”

“What? Why? Can’t you put in a good word for me or something?”

“Um, I did, Stevie. But also, she kinda has a point.”

Stevie sucked in a breath. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not something I really want to get into,” Bunny said, a note of finality in her voice.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Seriously.”

“That’s fucking bullshit. You can’t drop something like that and then refuse to talk about it.”

“Oh, what? So now you’re gonna tell me what to do?”

“I mean, Natasha does it all the time, so why can’t I?”

“ _Fuck you_ , Stevie.”

“Been there, done that,” she said, before she could stop it. She was clutching the phone to her ear so hard that her fingers ached.

“Well, now that I know how you really feel,” Bunny said. “I would say we’re breaking up, but we never made it official, so...”

Stevie felt the words drag over her like claws. “You’re the one who’s leaving, Bunny.”

“Yeah, well, good thing I am. I’m just about done with all the bullshit in this town.”

“Wait.” Stevie was shaking now, and what a novelty, there were actual tears springing to her eyes. “Just tell me, Bunny. Why don’t you trust me?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“Oh, come on. You implied it.”

They were silent for a long moment, listening to each other’s ragged breaths.

“We only just met,” Bunny said, her tone cold. It hurt like crazy. “I think we forget that sometimes. This is a temporary thing, and it doesn’t have to be that deep. That’s all.”

 _Except for the fact that I’m in love with you_ , Stevie thought.

It was easier to surrender to it now that it was over. And it was easier to see why they shouldn’t have gotten together in the first place. Natasha had said it herself, in the beginning, but Stevie had been too stubborn to accept it. Or maybe just too foolish.

“Right,” Stevie choked out, her throat on fire. “That’s it, then, I guess.”

When she hung up the phone, she kept her hand on the receiver for a long time, feeling everything coming apart inside of her. She had been living in a dream these past few weeks, and now it was time to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
>  _CW: Period-typical Attitudes and Alcohol Abuse (not chronic)_


	11. In Your Eyes (Peter Gabriel)

Stevie opened her eyes when she heard the knock on her bedroom door. She was curled up in bed, sheets pulled up over her head, wavering halfway between sleep and waking.

“Stevie?” her mom called through the door. “Can I come in?”

Stevie pushed the sheet back from her face. “You didn’t go to class?”

Her mom opened the door. “Not today.”

“What? Why?”

“Can I come in?”

She sighed. “Yeah. I guess.”

Her mom came in, hovering by the door until Stevie shifted over to make room for her on the edge of the bed. She sat down and patted her leg.

“I’m worried about you, honey.”

Stevie tried not to let herself get too emotional about that. Her mom really did love her. Sometimes she forgot just how much.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” she asked.

Stevie had called in sick to work three days in a row now, after that last phone conversation with Bunny. She just hadn’t felt like dealing with it. Work. Life. Anything. She hadn’t expected her mom to end up doing the same thing. She obviously wasn’t sick. She must really be worried.

“Nothing,” she said finally, trying her best to keep the wild mix of emotions inside of her at bay. They pressed up under her ribs, squeezing her heart, making it hard to breathe. “Just some dumb drama. I’ll get over it soon enough.”

“You’re so hard on yourself, Stevie.”

She shrugged.

“You don’t have to keep doing this.”

“Doing what?”

Her mom regarded her for a long moment, then shifted to face her, bringing her knee up on the bed.

“We’ve been a little team for so long, just us against the world. I think you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a kid.”

She couldn’t help scoffing at that. “You needed the help.”

“I did.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that we have other options now, but you won’t stop.”

“What other options, though?”

“I could take out another school loan. Rent out your room if you decide to travel. And soon enough, I’ll finish my clinical rotations and get a real nursing job. See? Options.”

Stevie just looked at her, trying to find a new angle to pick at.

“You’re not supposed to take care of me,” her mom said, sighing. “I’m supposed to take care of you. Only you never let me, Stevie. You’ve always been so proud. So hard-headed. You never wanted to let me bandage up your cuts. Make you soup when you had a cold. Hold you when you were sad.”

She turned away, and Stevie could see that she was trying to control herself just as much.

“You think I maybe got that from you?”

“Oh God, I know,” her mom said, sniffling. “Your dad had the hardest time when we first got together, did you know that? I loved him, and yet I didn’t want to need anyone.”

“Yeah,” Stevie said, warmth blooming in her chest at the familiarity of that.

“Why didn’t you take that scholarship, honey?” she asked, looking at her.

Stevie swallowed. She really wasn’t pulling any punches today, was she?

“I...” she started. “I don’t really want to play soccer anymore, Mom.”

“I see.”

“Yeah. Plus, I didn’t want to leave you hanging.”

“Well, you should,” her mom said, putting a hand on her shoulder and shaking her gently. “You really should, Stevie.”

“Should what?”

“Leave me hanging.”

“What?”

“Get out of here and live your life. Quit your job. Find something else to do. Travel. Fall in love.” She paused, looking at her intently. “Understand this. You are the apple of my eye. I love you beyond all reason, and I am so grateful for all that you have done to help me. But it will kill me if you keep refusing to follow your heart, do you understand me?”

Stevie recoiled at that.

“Don’t you get curious about what’s out there?” she asked, relentless. “Don’t you wonder what it might be like to live in a different place? Or go to art school? To visit Sam at Yale? Or Bunny in England?”

“Mom,” Stevie said, feeling like she might be spinning out of control, after all.

“What do you want, Stevie?”

“Nothing!”

“Don’t you lie to me.”

“Fine,” Stevie said, her voice breaking. “I want to feel like there’s a point to being alive, okay? I want to feel like I have a future as something other than a soccer player or a warehouse worker. I want to draw, and for people to see my drawings and like them. I want to find work that means something to me. And, I want—” she stopped, staring up at her, shocked that she had almost said it.

“What do you want?” she asked, softly now, and it was almost like she already knew.

“I’m scared,” Stevie said.

“And I love you no matter what.”

Stevie sat up. This was not how she had planned to ever have this conversation, lying in her little twin bed in smelly pajamas, her hair a mess, mouth rotting with bad breath, her mom watching her with that knowing look on her face.

“I’m gay,” she said, covering her face with her hands. “And I’m in love with Bunny.”

And then, embarrassingly enough, she actually started to cry.

“Oh, Stevie,” her mom said, pulling her in against her shoulder. “I know. And I know it’s scary, sweetheart. But it’ll be okay. Just let out, okay?”

For once, Stevie let it happen. She let it all go, and her mom held her through all of it.

“Are you going to tell Bunny?” she asked, when Stevie had cried herself dry.

“No,” Stevie said, her voice muffled against her mom’s shoulder pad.

“Why not?”

She pulled back. Her face felt like a disaster area. “Can you bring me some tissues?”

“Sure, honey.” She came back into the room with a box of tissues, a glass of water, and a candy bar.

“I thought you might need a break,” she said, holding up the Kit-Kat bar. It was a reference to the annoying commercial jingle that got stuck in Stevie’s head every time she heard it.

“Thanks a lot, Mom,” Stevie said, rolling her eyes, but she couldn’t help laughing, too.

“Talk to me about Bunny,” her mom said, settling down on the bed again. “Why aren’t you going to tell her?”

Stevie bided her time, chugging back the water and eating half of the Kit-Kit before she felt like she could face getting into it. She told her mom about how protective Bunny’s best friend Natasha was, and how she couldn’t help but feel jealous of the relationship they had. She talked about how much she and Bunny had in common, and how easy it was to talk to her. Finally, she talked about their fight on the phone.

Her mom didn’t interrupt, for once, just listening and nodding, giving Stevie encouraging little smiles. That’s how she found herself admitting that she wanted to follow Bunny to England, because then they could be together and she could go to art school. She had heard there were some good art schools in England. But she knew it was a stupid and foolish wish. No adult would ever do a stupid thing like that.

Her mom had laughed and told her that adults did things like that all the time. She told her that if that’s what her heart was asking her to do, then she should listen.

And finally, she told her to be brave and call Bunny.

Before she could do that, though, Natasha called her, instead. Stevie almost didn’t take the call, staring at her mom in shock as she came into the bedroom to tell her who was waiting on the phone.

“I think this is a good thing,” her mom said, before Stevie could respond. “You should talk to her. Clear the air.”

Stevie closed her eyes. She found it hard to talk to Natasha on a good day, and this was definitely not a good day.

“I don’t think I can handle that right now.”

“She said she was calling to apologize.”

Stevie’s eyes flew open. “What?”

“You should take the call, honey. I have a good feeling about this.”

So that’s how Stevie ended up shuffling into the kitchen in her bathrobe and pressing the phone to her ear.

“I was wrong,” Natasha said. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Stevie asked. “No.”

“Yes. I’m sorry, okay? I get protective of Bunny because she’s very sensitive. But I know you care about her, and you definitely treat her right. I just didn’t want to admit it, because of what that might mean. It’s bad enough that she’s going all the way to England, but if she has you in her life, well...she might end up forgetting about me.”

Stevie stood there for a minute, trying to process all that. She was pretty sure that was the most words in a row that Natasha had ever spoken to her.

“She won’t ever forget you,” Stevie said. “I’ve been jealous of that, honestly. She really looks up to you in a way.”

“Which is all the more reason I should stop interfering with her life.”

“Do you think she wants to see me?” Stevie asked quietly.

“I have no idea. You should ask her yourself.”

Stevie swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“She’s not here right now. Tony took her on some stupid-ass adventure at the lake. Water-skiing or something crazy like that.”

“Watersports aren’t your thing, huh?” Stevie asked, grinning.

Natasha laughed. “Wise-ass.”

“It takes one to know one.”

There was a comfortable pause.

“She’s leaving in a little over three weeks, Stevie. It’ll be three weeks on Monday.”

Okay, well, that really wasn’t all that much time to work with.

“Do you know when she’ll be home today?” Stevie asked.

“No idea. You could try calling Tony’s mobile phone.”

“Mobile phone?” Stevie scoffed. “Why am I not surprised that he has one? Of course he has one.”

“I know. You need his number?”

“Yeah.”

“All right, hold on and let me get my address book. And Stevie?”

“Yeah?”

“If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”

Stevie smiled. “Oh, don’t worry. I know.”

When she hung up the phone, her expression must have been crazy, because her mom came over and put a hand on her arm.

“Oh, honey—”

“Less than three weeks,” she said. “Bunny’s leaving and I have Tony’s cell phone number.”

“Slow down, honey. What’s going on?”

Stevie took a breath and explained everything. And then she picked the phone up and dialed with trembling fingers. The cell phone rang and rang and nobody picked up.

* * *

“I’m getting a call,” Tony said, stating the obvious because his mobile phone was right there, practically ringing itself to death on the top of the navigation console of the speedboat.

“Answer it,” Bunny said, laughing.

She’d had one of his fancy pot cookies and chickened out on actually going water-skiing. It would be a major buzzkill if she were to drown while high as a kite. Instead, they were floating out there on the water, the sun sparkling down at her as she stretched along the plastic cushion of the bench seat behind the captain’s chair. She’d caught Tony staring at her a few times and she liked it. There was a reason she picked this particular bathing suit when she and Nat had gone shopping yesterday. It was a one-piece, black with a daisy pattern, but there were mesh panels on the sides to show off her waist.

Every time, though, he’d looked away and gone back to talking about his latest exploits visiting Rhodey in Massachusetts, where he had stayed for his summer break from MIT.

“Are you going to go?” she asked, interrupting him right in the middle of a sentence. She meant to ask that a while ago, but when she was high words usually moved a little more slowly from the brain area to the mouth area.

“What?” Tony asked.

“Are you going to MIT? I know you got in.”

Tony shrugged. “I could get in anywhere, if I wanted.”

“Ugh.” Bunny rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I meant. I know you got into MIT the regular way. Fair and square.”

Tony pushed his sunglasses up into his hair, squinting at her. “Nobody knows that. How do you know that?”

“I have my sources,” Bunny said, meaning Natasha, of course. Natasha was good at finding out things.

“Oh, duh. I think you and I have the same source, Bun. Dangerous redhead with a penchant for blackmail?”

“I love her,” Bunny said. “Did you know that?”

“Yeah.”

“Not like that, though. Not anymore, I don’t think.”

Tony cleared his throat.

“I love you, too,” Bunny said, looking over at him, nearly overwhelmed by the sight of him. He was cute. And effortlessly smart, the lucky bastard. And he had money. But all of that was just...meaningless, without his essence tying it all together. He was a weirdo. A good weirdo. She didn’t know how to go about quantifying it. Her thoughts were drifting like clouds around her, hard to grab a hold of and make solid. She might even have been speaking out loud this whole time without realizing it. And she was thirsty.

“You’re wasted,” Tony said, propping a bare foot on the edge of the bench seat, right by her hip.

“Who do you think was on the phone?” Bunny asked, reaching out to pat his shin. His leg hair was coarse. It tickled her palm and made her giggle. She ran her fingers through it and Tony moved his leg.

“Maybe it was Nat?” he asked. “Nobody has that number.”

“I’m thirsty,” Bunny said.

“Okay.” Tony got up and went to the cooler. “Oh damn, I forgot to restock. We have one luke-warm ginger ale.”

“I hate you,” Bunny said. She burst into laughter at the sight of Tony’s indignant expression, almost falling onto the deck.

After a little while of putting up with that, Tony popped open the can. Bunny sucked in a breath, the laughter dying in her throat at the look on Tony’s face — equal parts mischievous and calculating.

“What are you doing?” she asked, sitting up, as Tony stepped toward her.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just having a drink.” He made to sit back down in the captain’s chair, and just as Bunny was convinced, he lunged forward and tipped the can over her head.

“Hey!” She sprang to her feet as ginger ale splashed everywhere. Tony was laughing now, chasing her around and flinging soda from the opening until she was covered in a sticky mess. “You’re disgusting!” she yelled, pushing him.

He tripped backwards, reaching out to catch himself on her arm, and then they collapsed into an uncomfortable heap on the deck, the boat rocking underneath them. Bunny lifted her head, all too aware that she was sprawled out on top of him, her hair dripping a mess of soda and sweat all over his face.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t been in this situation before. Their friendship did involve a lot of roughhousing, after all. But Tony had a strange look on his face.

“Hey,” he said, lifting a hand and pushing her hair out of her face.

Bunny froze, staring down at him.

“You, um, you gonna try to see Stevie before you go?” he asked.

Bunny thought about kissing that question right out of his mouth. It was a terrible idea, but maybe that’s what she needed. One final terrible idea before it was time to go.

Tony frowned. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t do that thing that people do where they kiss someone but they’re thinking of someone else.”

“You’re too smart for your own good,” Bunny said, peeling herself up off of him, grumpy now.

“Come on,” Tony said, sitting up and punching her lightly in the shoulder. “I can tell you miss her.”

“Why are you so invested in this all of a sudden?” Bunny asked. “Is it cuz you still can’t bring yourself to tell Rhodey the truth?”

“Fuck,” Tony said, putting his head in his hands. “Ew, I’m all sticky.”

“If you tell Rhodey, then I’ll talk to Stevie.”

Tony scrambled to his feet and dove off the edge of the boat, leaving Bunny staring after him.

“Well, come on,” he said, popping up out of the water, his hair plastered to his head.

“Your sunglasses,” Bunny said. “Your expensive designer sunglasses.”

Tony reached up to the top of his head, grimacing. “Whoops.”

“You just littered in the lake with your stupid expensive sunglasses!” Bunny yelled, cannonballing vengefully into the water right next to him.

When she surfaced, Tony was floating on his back, eyes closed. The water felt heavenly, a cool caress against her skin, all of her nerve endings lighting up with it. She wished she could turn into a mermaid, or maybe a selkie, and never leave.

“No deal, Bun,” Tony said, long after Bunny had forgotten what they had been talking about. She was holding onto the side of the boat with one hand, staring in fascination at the way the top layers of the lake shimmered with sunlight before giving way to impenetrable darkness. “You talk to Stevie if that’s what you want, but leave me and Rhodey out of it.”

“You’re boring,” she said. “This conversation is boring me.”

“Hey, that’s my line,” Tony said, splashing her full in the face with water.


	12. Because the Night (Patti Smith Group)

Bunny finally broke down and listened to the mixtape Stevie had made for her, playing it over and over again on her Walkman while moping around Natasha’s house. It wasn’t her fault. There was no school and no work, anymore, and she didn’t know what to do with herself. It got so bad that even Natasha’s aunt, who took everything in stride, seemed put out by it.

“Will you call that damn kid already?” she finally snapped at dinner, startling Bunny, who had been listlessly pushing her food around her plate.

“Auntie,” Natasha said, raising an eyebrow, while Yelena tried her best not to laugh.

“Someone had to say it,” Melina declared. “The energy in this house is bringing me down. We need to shake things up a bit. And you” — she looked at Bunny — “you need to call Stevie. Trust me. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“What mistake?” Bunny asked, perking up.

“No, no, I will give you nothing,” Melina said. “This is your story, not mine.”

“Come on, Aunt Mel,” Yelena said. “You can’t just drop something like that and then not tell us anything.”

Melina put her fork down and took a long drink from her glass of red wine.

“Long, long ago, in a galaxy far away” — she smiled as all three kids rolled their eyes — “there was a girl. And then we went our separate ways, without knowing what the other felt. Even now, thirty years later, I would love to know the truth.”

“You could ask,” Bunny said.

“And so could you,” Melina replied.

Bunny sighed. “It’s stupid, though. I’m leaving soon.”

“Bunny,” Melina said, lifting up her butter knife and pointing it at her, then at Natasha and Yelena in turn. “All of you listen to me. This is very serious. Those of us who are raised as women are given the idea that what we want is stupid, that our desires are a trifling thing to be ignored in favor of other people’s goals. But life is about being brave and reaching out for what we long for the most. It’s about taking risks, making mistakes, and learning from them.” She leaned forward, looking at Bunny as intently as only one of Natasha’s relatives could. “If you choose not to take the risk this time, Bunny, another opportunity will surely come your way. But why not choose it now? Why not accept the challenge and see what happens? Why not listen to your heart and try to believe that maybe what it is whispering to you isn’t stupid at all, but valid, and true, and worth fighting for?”

Bunny gulped, bringing a hand to her face, feeling the tears that were already there.

“Aw, you made her cry, Auntie,” Natasha said, her voice wobbling. She reached out to squeeze Bunny’s hand.

“Gotta love a good auntie lecture,” Yelena added dryly, but her eyes were shining, too.

After that, it was all Bunny could do to endure the rest of dinner and the seemingly interminable clean-up process. When the last dish was finally put on the drying rack and Melina nodded her approval, she scooted over to the phone and dialed Stevie’s number by heart.

“Hello?” Stevie answered right away, almost like she had been waiting for the call.

“Um, hold on,” Bunny said, glaring over her shoulder at Nat, Yelena, and Melina, who were all leaning on the kitchen counter, sly grins on their faces.

“Should we make some popcorn?” Yelena asked.

Bunny covered the mouthpiece with her palm, motioning for them to get out. “Shoo! This is a private conversation.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She gave Yelena a mischievous look and sprinted for the stairs.

“Hey, wait!” Yelena yelled. “I want to listen in, too.”

“No!” Bunny bellowed, running as far into the hall as she could without yanking the phone out of the wall. “Don’t you dare!”

Melina laughed. “They’re teasing you,” she said. “And just to be sure, I will go up and make sure no one is on the phone upstairs.” She left the kitchen at a more dignified pace, squeezing Bunny’s shoulder as she walked past. “Be brave, my darling.”

Bunny waited a few more seconds, listening intently, but it seemed the coast was clear.

“Hi,” she said.

She almost thought the call had been disconnected, but then Stevie cleared her throat.

“Hey.”

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Bunny took a deep breath, willing herself to be brave like Melina had instructed. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you, Stevie. I shouldn’t have said those things. I was just overwhelmed. And scared. But I do trust you. And I’m sorry I made it sound like I didn’t.”

“It’s okay,” Stevie said. “I’m sorry, too. Especially because I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I shouldn’t have said that thing about Natasha. It’s...embarrassing to admit, but I said it because I’m jealous of what you two have.” Stevie paused, and Bunny pressed the phone closer to her ear. “I want to be there for you like that, Bunny. Like Natasha is. And more.”

Bunny leaned back against the wall, sliding down to sit on the linoleum floor. “I’d like that.”

“You would?”

“I’m gonna stay,” Bunny said, catching herself by surprise.

“What?”

“I’m gonna stay here with you,” she said. It was an idea that had been lurking in the back of her mind for awhile now, but she hadn’t let herself consider it a real possibility. It was clear that some part of her had already decided, though.

“You can’t.”

“I love you,” Bunny said, another thing that she hadn’t quite decided to say yet, but there it was, coming out of her mouth. “I want to be with you.”

“Bunny,” Stevie said, her voice soft. “I love you, too.”

“Oh,” Bunny replied, because she hadn’t expected it would be that easy.

“And I want to be with you, too. Officially.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Stevie said. “And I want to go to England with you.”

“What?”

“Bunny, I made that mixtape for you because I was too scared to tell you how I felt. Did you listen to it yet?”

“Yes.”

“And did you get the message?”

“I...Maybe?”

“Hmm,” Stevie said, sounding amused.

“Maybe tell me what it was, just in case?” Bunny asked.

“Okay,” Stevie said. “Basically, I’d follow you anywhere, Bun. Anywhere at all. So you might as well lead me somewhere cool.”

“You’re crazy,” Bunny said, smiling so hard she thought her face might break.

“I know.”

“I need to see you.”

“Okay.”

“When are you coming over?”

“Now.”

Bunny felt the longing like a living thing then, roiling up inside of her. “I can’t wait.”

* * *

Stevie hung up the phone and turned to stare at her mom, pretty much in shock. Dinner was half-eaten, but that didn’t matter, did it? Not when—

“She said she loves me back, Mom.”

Her mom beamed. “Of course she does.”

Stevie frowned. “Was it really that obvious to everyone except us?”

“It often is.”

“I’m going over there,” Stevie said, between the last few bites of her dinner.

“Do you need a ride?”

“It’s okay,” she said, starting to pick up the dishes. “I can ride my bike.”

“Stephanie Greta,” her mom said. “Put the dishes down and go get ready. I’m going to give you a ride.”

“But—”

“I can handle washing the dishes later,” she cut in, amused.

Stevie hovered in the middle of the kitchen with her plate in hand.

“Take a deep breath,” she said. “Put the plate down on the counter and go get ready.”

“I’m scared, Mom,” Stevie said. “This feels so right, and yet so stupid at the same time. I don’t know what to do. What if it’s all a mistake? What if everything goes wrong?”

“Listen to me, kid,” her mom said, putting her knife and fork down and sitting back at the table. “I know exactly how you feel.”

“You do?” Stevie asked.

“Yes. Life doesn’t always happen in a straight line. And it doesn’t always make sense. But as long as you stay true to yourself and to each other, you’ll be okay. It might be hard sometimes, but at the end of it all, if you remember that, you’ll be okay.”

Stevie stared at her mom, feeling the heat rise on her face, tears hovering close. “Wow, Mom. Thanks.”

“Of course. Now go on, darling. Don’t keep her waiting.”

Stevie changed out of her work clothes blindly, almost even putting on a mismatching pair of shoes. She wondered how Bunny was holding up after leaving home. She knew what it felt like to lose a parent, but she couldn’t imagine what it might feel like to lose one that was still alive.

She thought of the mixtape she had made. It was meant to be a love letter, but some of the songs had taken on new meaning. What had started as a love letter was a promise now. She had to make sure to get that message across to Bunny with no room for doubt.

After a moment of hesitation, Stevie dove into her box of tapes, scooping them out onto the carpet until she found the one she was looking for. She fussed with her hair one more time in the mirror and then grabbed her boombox, turning it on to check the batteries before tucking it under one arm and walking out the door.

* * *

“What’s that music?” Melina asked.

“I don’t know,” Bunny said. They were in Melina’s art room, looking through her collection of tapes. Melina strode to the window and pulled up the blinds, letting in the bright summer sunlight.

_...Take me now, baby, here as I am_   
_Pull me close, try to understand..._

“Bunny!” Natasha said, running into the room. “Look out the window.”

Bunny frowned, recognizing the song now, her heart jumping.

She peeked out the window and there was Stevie, standing there on the sidewalk, holding a boombox over her head.

_...Come on now try and understand_   
_The way I feel when I'm in your hands_   
_Take my hand come undercover_   
_They can't hurt you now_   
_Can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now..._

“Is she really being John Cusack right now?” Yelena asked, as she and Natasha squeezed in on either side of her at the window.

“Who’s John Cusack?” Melina asked. “Let me see, let me see.”

“The actor from that movie _Say Anything_ ,” Yelena said, shifting aside to let Melina peek out the window, too. “Remember that scene where he goes and plays ‘In Your Eyes’ on his boombox outside his girlfriend’s window? Like, exactly like this?”

_...Have I doubt when I'm alone_   
_Love is a ring, the telephone_   
_Love is an angel disguised as lust_   
_Here in our bed until the morning comes..._

“Wow,” Melina said. “But this is Patti Smith.”

“Yeah,” Bunny said. “It’s the closer on the mixtape she made for me.”

“She’s so cheesy,” Natasha said, but there was no venom in her words.

Stevie had caught sight of them at the window now, and Bunny couldn’t help leaning out a little, meeting her eyes. Some passersby had stopped to watch what was happening at this point, but to Bunny the whole world was narrowing down to just the song, the sunlight in Stevie’s blond hair, the earnest look on her face. She ached to feel her touch again.

_...Because the night belongs to lovers_   
_Because the night belongs to us..._

“We need to invite her in before the rest of the neighbors come out to gawk at the commotion,” Melina said. She leaned out the window. “Hi Stevie! Do you want to come in?”

“Oh, sure, yelling into the street is way better,” Yelena said.

_...With love we sleep_   
_With doubt the vicious circle_   
_Turn and burns_   
_Without you I cannot live_   
_Forgive, the yearning burning_   
_I believe it's time, too real to feel_   
_So touch me now, touch me now, touch me now—_

Stevie dropped the boombox to one shoulder, clicking it off. “What?”

“Do you want to come in?” Melina repeated.

Stevie’s eyes flicked back to Bunny’s face. “Only if she still wants me to.”

“After that, who knows?” Natasha yelled, and Stevie laughed.

“Oh, wow,” Yelena said. “She’s so polite and unassuming.”

Natasha snorted. “You’ll be changing your tune soon enough.”

“For God’s sake, someone go and let her in!” Melina said, laughing.

“No, I want to!” Natasha said, as Yelena ran for the hall. They wrestled momentarily at the door, Yelena trying to push Natasha aside so she could go first, until they finally managed to squeeze out together. Bunny could hear them clattering down the stairs.

A second later, they were both running out onto the sidewalk, swarming around Stevie and dragging her toward the house. She tilted her head to look up at Bunny and then relented, letting Natasha and Yelena pull her to the front door.

“I’ll send her right up,” Melina said. “Don’t crash into my painting while you’re reuniting, it’s still wet.” She left the room before Bunny could do anything other than blush helplessly.

Bunny shivered at the sound of Stevie’s voice in the front hall, real and in the flesh, and then the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Coming straight for her. She took a gulp of air, running her hands through her hair and smoothing down her shirt.

And then Stevie was in the doorway, looking at her. Bunny thought she might need to sit down, but she stayed where she was, blinking at her.

“Hey, Bunny,” Stevie said. “Can I come in?”

She was being so cautious. So careful. Bunny had missed her stupid face so much. She stumbled forward, stopping just short of crashing into her.

“Stevie.” She pulled her into the room and closed the door.

They stared at each other for another moment, and then Stevie held out her arms and Bunny went to her, leaning in against her, burying her face in Stevie’s hair. Stevie rubbed her back gently, and Bunny just let herself feel the warmth of her hands for a while. She leaned back to look at her.

“You’re such a nerd.”

Stevie raised her eyebrows. “What did I do now?”

“A boombox serenade? Really?”

Stevie flushed pink. “I didn’t want to leave any room for doubt.”

Bunny smiled, a bit sad.

“I’m sorry, Bunny,” Stevie said. “For everything.”

“So am I.”

“Will you kiss me?”

Bunny’s eyes dropped to Stevie’s mouth, those soft lips, letting the yearning draw out between them before she closed the gap, sighing into Stevie’s mouth as she kissed her. This was exactly the right thing, yes.

“Bunny, Bunny, Bunny,” Stevie murmured, as Bunny kissed the corner of her mouth, the tip of her chin, the long line of her jaw.

In the end, Melina needn’t have worried about her painting. Something had shifted between them, the urgency that usually drove their previous encounters melting away to something softer. There was no need to rush, anymore. They were going to face the future and all of its possibilities together.


	13. Never (Heart)

Much to Bunny’s surprise, as the evening dragged on, Stevie never made a move to go home. Instead, she held Bunny in her arms on the couch in the living room, chatting with Natasha’s family. Melina told them about all the wonderful places to visit in Europe, Yelena piping in about the best hostels in this town and that city, while Natasha sat in the armchair and presided over all of it with a contented look on her face.

“Do you mind if I spend the night?” Stevie asked suddenly.

“Of course,” Melina said, without even a split second of hesitation. “We can set you up in my art room. There’s an air mattress.”

“I mean, I can sleep on the floo—”

“It’s big enough for two,” she added.

Yelena caught Bunny’s eye and smirked.

They got ready for bed, and once again Bunny found herself with that strange feeling she’d been having off and on since she had left home. It was like she was caught in a dream. No matter how happy and loved she felt at Natasha’s house with her family, with Stevie, with Tony, there was an edge of unreality to everything, like at any moment she might wake up and find herself alone.

She watched Stevie help Melina move a bunch of stuff in the cluttered closet in the hall, digging out the box with the air mattress in it. Stevie took care of blowing it up, sitting in the middle of the art room, red-faced, the mattress spread out across her lap.

“Want help with that?” Bunny asked.

Stevie laughed. “If you really want. Because this sucks.”

When they finally finished setting up the mattress and stretched out on top of it, it bowed in the middle, so that they ended rolling right up against each other.

“Well,” Stevie said. “If you insist.”

Bunny laughed and kissed her, but already her grief was rising up and threatening to dampen the mood. The night was when it got bad. The night was when she could really feel the hole that had been ripped open inside of her, and she couldn’t stop thinking about her dad.

Stevie must have sensed something, because she stopped kissing Bunny and just held her. It was such a simple gesture, and Bunny found herself crying just from the sheer overwhelm of it. So much had happened, both good and bad, and her heart just couldn’t handle it anymore. It just couldn’t.

“I wished I knew how to stop feeling,” she said. “Just for a minute.”

“I know,” Stevie whispered.

“I don’t think I can mess around tonight.”

“We don’t have to do anything,” Stevie said. “I’m just happy to be here with you.”

Bunny let that sink in for a minute, sniffling.

“I left my car,” she said, even though it didn’t really make sense to her why she felt so indignant about that particular thing. There was so much more she should be pissed about.

“I saw.”

“You did?”

It got quiet for long enough that Bunny wondered if Stevie had fallen asleep.

“I, uh, might have ridden by the garage once or twice,” Stevie said.

Bunny snorted. “Awww, that’s okay. I don’t think you’re a creepy stalker.”

Stevie huffed out a laugh. “I definitely felt like one. But to be fair, it was before you called me, so...I was worried something might have happened to you.”

“I’m sorry, Stevie.”

“It’s okay, Bun,” Stevie said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m here for you, okay? If you ever want to talk about...um, your dad.”

“Mmmm. Okay. Thanks.” Bunny sighed. “I’m thinking about writing him a letter. Before I go. I don’t want to see him, but...I can’t just leave without saying goodbye.”

Stevie squeezed her harder. “I’m so sorry, Bun.”

Bunny shrugged. “Shit happens. Isn’t that what you said about your dad?”

Stevie tensed underneath her. “God, of all the things to remember.”

“I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I didn’t,” Stevie said. “I miss him every day. So I’m glad you’re writing your dad a letter, at least. Maybe one day, who knows. Maybe one day you guys can see each other again.”

“Maybe,” Bunny said.

“I love you, Buns.”

“I love you, too, Stevie.” She snuggled closer, staring wide-eyed into the grey light of the city night, Stevie running her fingers through the hair at the back of her head, soothing and gentle, until she could feel sleep coming to claim her.

* * *

The following morning, Stevie woke up first. The air mattress had completely deflated in the night, flattened underneath them as they lay there in a weird tangle of limbs. Stevie’s face was pretty much in Bunny’s armpit, Bunny’s leg pressed in between her thighs. She turned slowly onto her back, trying her best not to jostle Bunny.

Bunny stirred next to her, lifting her head, her eyes opening wide.

“It wasn’t a dream.”

Stevie looked over at her, waiting.

“You’re here.”

“Yeah, Bun.”

“Thank fucking God.” Bunny leaned forward, as if to kiss her, but then recoiled back, covering her mouth. “Oh wait. Morning breath. Oh, my God. I have to go brush my teeth first.”

Stevie scoffed. “Dude, no you don’t.”

“Yes, I do,” Bunny said, already pushing herself up off of the floor.

“Fine, can I borrow your toothbrush again, then?” Stevie asked.

“No,” Bunny said, pointing at her. “I want your morning breath. I want all of you. You stay right there, beautiful. I’ll be right back.”

Stevie blinked and stared up at the ceiling, her mind already wandering off to contemplate what Bunny had planned for her this morning. Luckily, she already had the day off, though she was pretty sure she would have called in sick again, otherwise. She felt a little guilty about that, but the warehouse was terrible. So terrible. She needed a good few days of rest from that environment after the craziness of the past week.

“Much better,” Bunny said, coming into the room and closing the door behind her. She stretched out practically on top of Stevie and kissed her full on the mouth.

“Last night, I wanted to stop feeling,” she said, looking into Stevie’s eyes, her eyes sparkling. “This morning, I want to feel. Specifically, your taste in my mouth.”

“Uh, okay,” Stevie said, her entire body twinging with anticipation.

“Are we still in the clear?” Bunny asked, managing to look both nonjudgmental and apprehensive at the same time. “I mean, do I need to use protection again?” she added.

Stevie shook her head. “No, Bun. I haven’t been with anyone else. I didn’t want to.”

Bunny smiled. “Me neither.”

Her mouth and fingers felt goddamn magical, just this side of too much. Stevie did her best to keep quiet, tailbone digging into the floor, her hands in Bunny’s hair. Bunny worked her for a long time, taking it slow, dragging it out until Stevie thought she might actually die from how turned on she was. And then, it was almost as if a switch had flicked on inside of her, and she was coming, hard, pulling on Bunny’s hair and trying her best not to explode into a million pieces.

Afterwards, she treated Bunny to the same, feeling smug when Bunny went so far as to stuff a wad of bedsheet into her mouth to keep from making noise, her body shivering and shaking under Stevie’s hands. Stevie poured all of her love into those sweet moments, hoping somehow it would help bring healing to this amazing person that she loved the most.

* * *

When they went downstairs, Natasha was standing in the kitchen in her pajamas, pouring some cereal into a bowl.

“There’s cereal for breakfast,” she said, half-asleep, but then her eyes sharpened. “Unless you both already had enough to eat this morning.”

“Hah,” Bunny said, stealing her bowl of cereal and giving it to Stevie.

“Hey!”

Stevie tried to give it back to her, but she refused it, turning to get two more bowls, one for her and one for Bunny.

They ate in silence, the collective crunching of cereal filling Stevie’s ears. Natasha looked like she was thinking hard about something, and once she had tilted her bowl to her mouth and drained the last of its contents, she crossed her arms.

“Bunny, we need to talk about something. I’m sorry, but I think it’s important to do this sooner rather than later.”

Bunny swallowed. “Okay.”

Natasha looked at Stevie. “I think Stevie and I need to get some people together to go over to your dad’s house and pack your stuff up for you.”

Stevie reached across to put a hand on Bunny’s arm, because she was blinking fast now, her face going pale.

“You would do that for me?”

Natasha snorted. “Um, of course.”

“Yeah,” Stevie echoed. “In a heartbeat.”

Bunny looked at her. “Will you deliver the letter then, too?”

“Anything you need, Bunny,” Stevie said, without hesitation. “All you need to do is ask.”

Natasha looked like she might want to roll her eyes, but Stevie took it as a good sign that she didn’t.

“You’re so cheesy,” she said, instead. “It’s giving me lactose intolerance.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t ‘get’ that,” Stevie said, laughing.

“It’s a medical mystery,” Natasha said, shrugging.

“Oh God,” Bunny said, laughing. “Stop it already. It’s too early for this shit.”

Stevie and Natasha grinned at each other, and then Stevie just had to lean over and kiss Bunny. She looked so cute and rumpled, her curls sticking up all over her head.

Natasha cleared her throat. “Okay, so. Sharon will definitely help. And Yelena. Melina said she could help, but I think she should stay here with Bunny while it’s happening. Just in case. And we can ask Sam, too, right, Stevie? And Riley?”

“Yeah, sure,” Stevie said. “Sam’s been in Chicago visiting his gran, but he got back yesterday, I think. I’ll tell him whatever you feel comfortable with me telling him, Buns, and if you don’t want Riley in on this...”

Bunny waved a hand. “Oh, I love both of them. You can tell them everything.”

* * *

“Damn, Stevie,” Sam said, later that day. “England?”

They were hanging out at the mall, just outside the arcade, leaning against the railing and watching all the people milling about on the floor below.

“Yeah,” Stevie said. “I’m going to try and get into art school.”

“It feels like we’re living in a romance movie or something. You’re the noble working class hero. Bunny’s the kid next door.”

“Ugh, stop,” Stevie said, slouching low over the railing and resting her chin on her arms.

“Okay, fine. Maybe the two of you are star-crossed lovers, only we don’t know it because our perspective is limited to our own scripts.”

“What, like Romeo and Juliet?”

“Sort of,” Sam said. “I’m thinking Bunny is a sleeper agent. It’s perfect because she’s really sweet, so no one would suspect her. And of course, they activate her right after you two fall in love, and it turns out she’s actually your enemy.”

“Of course,” Stevie said, amused. “Who wants to see a movie with happy lovers holding hands all the time? Not me. I live for the drama.”

“Obviously.”

“Shut up.”

They both got distracted watching a kid zip by on a skateboard.

“That idiot’s gonna hurt somebody,” Sam said.

“How much you wanna bet we’re gonna see mall security running after him in a minute?”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, I’ll bet zero dollars.”

“Boring.”

“You’re boring.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, so, back to the movie. Bunny’s a sleeper agent. What about Natasha? I would not be surprised in the least if it turned out she was a spy of some kind, too. She’s so wily.”

“Yeah, she is,” Sam said. “And Sharon is her girlfriend who works for an enemy agency. Or, oh, this is good. She works for the gov. She’s an FBI agent or something like that. Neither one of them knows the other is a super secret spy. And there goes the mall cop.”

“Took him long enough.”

“Someone needs to get that man a skateboard,” Sam said.

Stevie laughed so hard that she had to wipe her eyes. “So what about you, Sam?” she asked, after she’d finally caught her breath. “And Riley? Who are you guys in this romantic spy film?”

“Well, I’m the handsome hero everyone’s been waiting for.”

“Naturally.”

“Oh, and I can fly.” Sam said. “And Riley, too.”

“Fly?” Stevie asked. “When did this turn into a superhero movie?”

“It’s an improvised script,” Sam said, shrugging. “Just imagine the looks on people’s faces if I took a nosedive over this railing and then BAM! Wings out just before I kiss the tile, and there I go!”

“So you two would have flappy wings like birds?” Stevie asked, laughing at the mental image.

“No,” Sam said. “That’s silly. We’d have, like, stationary wings and jetpacks.”

“Birdmen,” Stevie said, wincing at Sam’s retaliatory punch. “Ouch!”

“And Tony, oh my God,” Sam said, nearly doubling over in laughter.

“What?” Stevie asked. “Tell me! Tell me!”

“Tony would be this trainwreck mad scientist guy. Like, as loud and brash as he is in real life, except with more technology. He’d drive you crazy.”

“He already does.”

“Yeah, no, but I mean, he’d be showboating all his inventions all the time, while you’d be saving the world with good old-fashioned elbow grease and maybe like one weapon. Oh no, it would have to be a shield. You’d be too noble to use a weapon other than your fists.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, you’d definitely be on the ‘good’ side in this movie, and you’d have a huge stick up your ass about it, too.”

“This is slander.”

“Anyone who has had to sit through even half of a Stevie Rogers rant about tearing down the system would agree with me, like, 100 percent.”

“Whatever. So you and Riley are birdmen or whatever — Ow! Don’t punch me again! — and I fight on the ground with a shield?”

“Yes.”

“Do either one of you ever give me rides, like if I ever need to get from point A to point B really fast?”

“Riley would, probably, if you asked him nicely.”

“Not you, though, huh?” Stevie propped her chin in her hands, feigning disappointment. “Do you at least help me out when Bunny goes into murder mode?”

“I could see myself doing that.”

“And what about Natasha?”

“What about her?”

“Is she on our side?”

“Natasha is an unknown quantity always, Stevie.”

“She’d be on our side,” Stevie decided. “And she’d help us rescue Bunny and undo her programming. And then we would fall in love all over again and live happily ever after.”

“Man,” Sam said. “I was just about to say this was making me want to go play some more video games, but never mind. Not after that ending.”

“Awww, don’t be such a grump. Just admit you’re happy for me so we can move along.”

Sam put a hand on her shoulder. “Stephanie Greta Rogers,” he said. “I am very happy for you.”

She squinted suspiciously. “Why don’t I believe you?”

Sam sighed. “Maybe it’s cuz I’m sad you’re gonna be a whole ocean away from me?”

Stevie straightened up, turning to face him. “Sam.”

“Stevie.”

“We’ll keep collaborating through the mail,” she said. “And over the phone.”

“We better.”

“Of course we will.”

“Okay, then.”

They kept staring at each other, Stevie feeling like she might have to tear her heart into two pieces, after all. One piece to leave with Sam, and the other to take with her to England.

“Hey,” Sam said, shaking her shoulder. “I really am happy for you, Stevie. It’s gonna be great. We’re both moving on to better things. Finally.”

“We’re totally gonna take over the world,” Stevie said, grinning.

Sam nodded. “Hell yeah we are. Now. Back to business. You up for me kicking your ass in _Street Fighter_ again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!
> 
> Well, this is almost it...one more installment before we wrap up! Thank you so much for all the subscriptions, bookmarks, kudos, and comments. It means a lot to know that people are enjoying this story!
> 
> If you haven't had a chance to listen to brideofquiet's [podfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062653/chapters/66074932) yet, I highly recommend it! Especially the previous chapter, Because the Night. :))) On the podfic it will be chapter 11. The numbers are off because I chose to use chapter 1 of this fic to put the fic banner front and center. It only seemed fitting for cover art.


	14. Highway to Hell (AC/DC)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: click link to jump to endnote

Stevie woke up early on the day they had planned to go get Bunny’s stuff at her dad’s house. She left Bunny asleep on the air mattress and wandered down to drink coffee with Melina in the kitchen, her body jumping with nerves. At a prompt eight o’clock, Sharon, Sam, and Riley showed up, and Tony got there about fifteen minutes later. When it was finally time to go, Stevie held them all up longer by giving Bunny as thorough a goodbye kiss as she could manage, trying to chase away the sadness in her eyes.

Tony laid on the horn enough times that Stevie finally had no choice but to tear away, Bunny rolling her eyes and pushing her out the door.

“I love you,” Stevie said, from the stoop.

“I love you, too,” Bunny replied. “Oh, and Stevie?”

“Yeah?”

“I have these, um, journals. They’re in a box under my bed. Can you make sure no one sees them?”

“Of course,” Stevie said, wincing as the car horn blared behind her again. “Okay, okay!” she yelled over her shoulder, giving Bunny one more peck on the lips before dashing down to the street, where she piled into the Datsun with Natasha, Sharon and Yelena. Sam, Riley, and Tony were parked behind them in a suspicious-looking windowless van that Tony had secured them for the occasion.

“Fucking Tony Stark,” Sharon said, when Stevie got into the car.

“Agreed,” she said.

Natasha met her eyes in the rearview mirror. “Ready?”

Stevie nodded curtly. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Bunny had warned them that her dad had forced her to surrender her keys, so Stevie had volunteered for the unenviable task of tracking down the man himself to get him to unlock the house.

As soon as she walked into the garage, the mechanics on duty circled up, staring hard at her. She stared back at them just as hard, hoping they couldn’t scent her fear.

“Can I help you?” one of the men asked, and Stevie was surprised she hadn’t recognized him sooner. He had Bunny’s eyes, and the same square jaw, though his hair was darker.

“You must be Mr. Barnes,” she said, doing her best to keep her tone polite. “I’m Stevie Rogers, Bunny’s girlfriend. Me and a few of her friends came by to pack up her stuff for her, since she’s leaving for England soon. We need you to unlock the house so we can get to her room.”

One of the other mechanics cursed under his breath, and Mr. Barnes held out a hand, quelling him.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here like this,” he said.

“Yeah, well, you’ve got a lot of nerve being so mean to my girlfriend,” Stevie said, feeling like she might actually end up punching him right in the nose.

He opened his mouth to answer, his eyes flashing much like Bunny’s did when she was being feisty, but she interrupted him before he could even get started.

“She wrote you a letter, Mr. Barnes.” She tried to hand it to him, but he wouldn’t take it, lifting his hands and stepping back.

“All right, then,” she said. “I’ll leave it on the kitchen counter for you. Once you let us into the house.”

“I’m not letting a bunch of hoodlums into my house.”

Stevie took a slow breath through her nose, counting to five. “We’re not hoodlums, Mr. Barnes. We’re Bunny’s friends, and we’re trying to help her get ready to go to England. She doesn’t have anything other than a few items of clothing that she packed when she left, you understand? Are you really going to let her leave the country with nothing?”

“I don’t appreciate your tone, young lady.”

Stevie clenched her jaw so hard she was sure everyone heard it creak. Mr. Barnes' eyes widened, and she turned to see Tony sauntering into the garage, hands in his pockets.

“Hey, Mr. B,” he said. “Just thought I’d come by and check out the property.”

“Stark,” Mr. Barnes said, going pale.

Tony’s eyes flickered with the barest hint of remorse before he lifted his chin and grinned, showing his teeth like a shark.

“It just so happens my dad’s been sniffing around this neighborhood, looking to snatch up a few more crumbling mom-and-pop places before passing go and collecting 200 dollars. But you already knew that, didn’t you?” He scratched his nose, looking thoughtful. “Here’s an idea. I could have a word with him. Tell him my good friend’s old man owns this place, so he’ll leave it alone. You know, if you let us in the house. So we can pack up Bunny’s stuff. Because she’s leaving for England soon.”

“Yeah, all right,” Mr. Barnes said, deflating like a balloon.

“Oh, and I want to buy that car,” Tony said, pointing to the Trans Am. “How much you want for it?”

Stevie turned to look at Tony in surprise. Bunny hadn’t asked them to bring the car back. It’s not like she’d be able to take it with her to England, anyway.

Mr. Barnes blinked at him. “You can’t be serious. I’m not even sure that thing is drivable.”

“It’s definitely drivable,” Stevie snapped. “Bunny said—” Tony stepped on her foot, hard, and Stevie stopped talking.

Fortunately for Tony, Mr. Barnes had ignored her completely, turning back to consult with the other mechanics.

“Five grand in cold, hard cash sound fair to get it off your hands?” Tony asked, ignoring Stevie as she practically choked in dismay.

One of the mechanics shook his head, and Mr. Barnes said, “Ten.”

“Mmm, I don’t know,” Tony said. “The body’s in pretty rough shape. I’ll give you six. That’s my final offer.”

Mr. Barnes narrowed his eyes. “Eight.”

Tony scrunched up his nose.

“Fine, six it is,” Mr. Barnes said, his shoulders sagging, and the guys behind him burst into a chorus of protests. “I just want that thing out of my sight!” he snapped back at them.

Tony stepped forward and held out his hand to shake on it. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Mr. Barnes repeated.

“Great. I’ve got the cash in my van. I’ll give it to you when I get the keys and title.”

“Sure, sure,” Mr. Barnes said, annoyed now.

Stevie and Tony followed him around the corner, and he stopped a moment at the sight of Natasha, Sharon, Yelena, Sam, and Riley leaning against Tony’s van where it was parked on the curb.

“Damn kids,” he muttered, then made his way up the stoop to unlock the door. “I’ll grab the keys for you,” he said, turning to look at Tony, his eyes sliding over Stevie like she wasn’t there.

“You should know that I’m going to England with Bunny,” Stevie said. “If you ever want to find out how she’s doing, I wrote my mother’s number right here on the envelope.” She held Bunny’s letter up so he could see it. “Call her anytime, and she can tell you.”

Mr. Barnes focused on some place right above her head, nodding abruptly, before he disappeared into the house.

“Jeez, what a piece of work,” Tony said. “Glad I low-balled him.”

“That’s a low-ball in your world, huh?” Stevie muttered.

A moment later, Mr. Barnes emerged with a key ring.

“These are Bunny’s keys,” he said, to Tony. “This is the house key. This is the Trans Am. It’s just got the one key. Please return the house key when you’re finished. The title’s filed away in the office, I think.”

“I don’t like being handed things,” Tony said.

“For fuck’s sake,” Stevie muttered under her breath. “I’ll take the keys, Mr. Barnes.” She held out her hand, her stomach swooping unpleasantly when their eyes met for a split second, and then the keys were in her hand and Mr. Barnes went back to ignoring her completely.

“I’ll get the cash,” Tony said, walking over to the van. He opened the driver’s side door and disappeared from view for a moment, emerging with a plain manila envelope in hand. “You wanna count this in your office?”

“Okay,” Mr. Barnes said.

“Do me a favor,” Tony said, leaning in close to Stevie. “Don’t tell Bunny about the Trans Am. It’s a surprise.”

Stevie raised her eyebrows. “A six thousand dollar surprise?”

Tony smirked, giving her a wink. Mr. Barnes had already disappeared around the corner.

“I’ll catch up to you guys in a minute,” he said, dashing off after him.

* * *

Bunny could not relax, no matter how much she tried. Tony had gifted her a spliff that morning, but as much as she would have welcomed the distance that weed could give her, she also didn’t want to be fuzzy around the edges right now. She wanted to be sharp. She wanted to be ready for anything.

Two hours later, Stevie was coming through the door with her box of journals under one arm. She held it out to her, a serious expression on her face.

“Your classified documents, ma’am,” she said.

“Why, thank you.”

“I’ll have you know she personally escorted those the entire way,” Sharon said, coming through the door with a box that had been labeled “tapes” in Tony’s broad chicken scratch.

“It’s because of the romance-spy-superhero movie we’re all in without realizing it,” Sam said, holding a box labeled “clothes.” “You’re a badass sleeper agent, Bunny, but unfortunately, you’re also Stevie’s enemy. Which nobody realizes until your programming is activated.”

“Oh no,” Bunny said.

“Yeah, but when we see each other again, you can’t bring yourself to kill me,” Stevie said.

Bunny grinned. “Of course not.”

“Are you two going to flirt the rest of the day or actually do some work?” Natasha asked as she came into the house with Bunny’s treasured record player. Her dad had helped her refurbish it a few years ago. It had been one of the last nice things they did together. Back when he could look at her and still see her.

“I’ll be right there,” Bunny said, taking the box with her journals in it so she could stash it upstairs. She gave Stevie a smile and jogged up the steps.

Once inside Melina’s art room, which had become her temporary bedroom, she closed the door and leaned against it, fighting against the surge of emotions that were threatening to spill out of her.

“Terrible timing,” she said, swallowing back a sob. “Get yourself together, Barnes.”

She could hear laughter and murmured conversation coming through the window, the sounds of her friends being goofballs, like usual, and it warmed her heart. She walked over to peek out, watching as Natasha started chewing out Tony about a missing box.

“You had one job,” she was saying. “Bunny’s gonna kill us if we lost her record collection.”

“It’s got to be here somewhere!” Tony said, disappearing into the van.

Meanwhile, Sam nonchalantly emerged from the van carrying the exact box they were looking for, winking at Riley as they crossed paths on the walkway. Sharon and Yelena were lugging some more boxes into the house. Stevie paused on the curb, lifting the bottom edge of her t-shirt to wipe the sweat off of her brow, flashing quite a bit of skin in the process. Bunny couldn’t help herself. She leaned out the window and whistled.

Stevie looked up and lifted her shirt further, slow and sultry, until Natasha came up behind her and flipped the back of the shirt over her head.

“Hey!” she shouted, writhing around to free herself.

Natasha smirked up at the window and Bunny burst into laughter, already feeling a thousand times lighter than she had a few minutes ago. What a bunch of little shits. She loved them all so much.

* * *

A few days later, they were sitting on the front stoop at Nat’s place with Sharon, Sam, and Riley, just shooting the shit like usual as twilight set in. Bunny leaned back against Stevie’s legs, sighing with contentment. Yelena was standing on the sidewalk in front of them, showing off the latest card trick she had learned, and she was really good. Bunny had never seen anyone in real life who could handle cards the way she did, smooth and soothing. It made her not even want to try and figure out how she was being tricked.

After three full days of organizing her stuff, Bunny finally felt like she had a handle on things. There was the giveaway pile, which all of her friends had dug through already. Sharon was going to be taking the rest of it to the vintage shop. There was the pile of things that Melina said she was welcome to store at the house for as long as she needed. This, sadly, included her records, the record player, and most of her tapes, books, and comics. And finally, the smallest pile was what she was going to take with her. She was still trying to get it down to one rolling suitcase and a carry-on bag.

She had planned to stay in a hostel until she could find a place to live, and had been squirreling away money since last year in preparation. It wouldn’t be easy at first, probably, but she’d manage. And now that Stevie was coming along, she was sure between the two of them they would be able to get a pretty decent place to live. They didn’t need much.

She sat up at the familiar roar of an engine, her heart jumping up into her throat as a car came around the corner, streetlights flashing over sleek black paint. It was a 1976 Pontiac Trans Am in absolutely pristine condition. Her mouth dropped open as the car stopped in front of them, the engine revving once before shutting off. The windows were tinted, so she couldn’t see who was driving, but she had a feeling...

The driver’s side door opened, and the first thing she saw was the Air Jordans, then a dark head of hair popped up over the top of the door. The driver was in mirrored aviators despite the oncoming night, an immaculate sports jacket layered over a Black Sabbath shirt, and black ripped jeans.

Of course it was Tony fucking Stark. Who else would it be?

Bunny stepped into the street just as Tony shut the door.

“Hey, Bun,” he said, sliding off his shades and tucking them into his breast pocket.

“What’s this?” she asked, staring at the car.

“My dad owns a bunch of body shops, you know,” Tony said, handing her the keys. She teared up at the sight of the familiar Legend of Zelda keychain, all chipped and worn. Her old house key was missing, but the Trans Am key was there.

“Tony? What did you do?”

“I love you, too, Bunny,” he said abruptly. “I didn’t say it back, that other day on the boat. But it’s true.”

“What the fuck,” Bunny said, softly, and then she hugged him so hard that he fell back against the car with an “oof.”

“We both have shitty dads,” he said.

“Jesus Christ,” Bunny said, against his shoulder. “I can’t accept this.”

“Shut up, Barnes,” he said, pulling away. “Don’t be a fool. You could get a lot of money for this baby if you decided to sell. You know, like, if you want to pay for your boo’s last-minute plane ticket. And, like, first and last month’s rent on that nice flat in Cambridge that my mom’s great-auntie’s friend of a friend has been looking to fill. Applications are open to nice and responsible tenants only, she said, but I’m sure if you smuggled Stevie in after dark they wouldn’t suspect a thing.”

Bunny didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The rest of the crew had crowded around by now.

“You are _such_ a dramatic bitch,” Natasha said, pulling Tony into a hug and kissing his cheek.

Stevie was standing there with a hand over her mouth.

“I’ve never been upstaged this badly in my life,” Yelena said, glaring at Tony.

He raised an eyebrow, but there was something soft about him today, and when he didn’t snark back at her, Yelena just punched him in the shoulder and went around to open the passenger side door so she could get a look at the interior.

“Hey, you feel like going for a joy ride?” he asked Bunny.

“We’re not all going to fit in there,” Stevie said.

“What do you think the tinted windows are for?” Sam asked, grinning.

“Fine,” Stevie said. “Shotgun!”

“Damn it!” Sam said.

“Guess you’re sitting in my lap, Nat,” Sharon said, grinning.

Riley just looked at Sam, smirking.

“I am not sitting on Tony’s lap,” Yelena said.

In the end, Riley and Sam piled in on one side of the back seat, Sharon and Nat on the other, and Yelena crammed in the middle with Tony perched daintily on her lap.

“You’re not that heavy,” Yelena grumbled, pulling Tony back against her.

“Okay,” Tony replied, looking flustered for once in his life.

Bunny laughed at them and started the car. “Freez’ n Fizz, anyone?”

“Hell yeah!” everyone chorused back.

“Hey, put this in, will you?” Tony asked, passing a cassette of _Highway to Hell_ along to the front.

Stevie popped it into the tape player, and they all sang along to the title track at the top of their lungs while Yelena complained loudly, a huge grin on her face. Bunny tried her best to keep her eyes on the road, but it was hard considering that everyone in the backseat seemed dead set on causing a commotion. It was wild and wacky and wonderful, and Bunny did her best to soak it all in, not wanting to forget even a single moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
> ***  
>  _CW: Period-typical attitudes_


	15. Something Strange Called Love (Boy George)

“I think I finally got it,” Bunny said, closing up her suitcase and kneeling on it to flatten it down. It was late, she was tired, and this must be the hundredth time she had repacked the damn thing with what she hoped to be the optimum combination of her personal belongings. She fought with the zipper a moment before Stevie crouched down beside her.

“Here, Bun. You squish, I zip.”

“Thanks,” Bunny said, feeling the strange mix of anxiety and desire that had been thrumming through her all day rise to a more insistent pitch.

They had spent the entire day rushing around, making last-minute arrangements. Bunny needed to convert all of her leftover money from selling her Trans Am into British pounds and traveler’s checks. They both had to double and triple-check that their passports and other documents were in order. Then they’d had dinner with all of their friends, Natasha’s aunt Melina, and Stevie’s mom.

Now, night had fallen, and the reality of tomorrow was setting in. Bunny was about to leave everything she had ever known to go live in another country with her partner of less than a month. It sounded insane when she thought about it like that. Absolutely insane. The only thing that kept the doubt from eating her alive was the fact that everyone seemed to be happy for them. The odds that they were all crazy were fairly small, though Bunny wasn’t completely immune to the suspicion that they might all be suffering from some sort of mass delusion.

At the same time, she felt ready. She’d spent months preparing for this move, after all, doing exhaustive research, talking to people at the University, talking to friends and acquaintances who had more experience with traveling and who had been to the UK before. She felt like she had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Stevie, on the other hand, had barely had three weeks to prepare.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Stevie finished zipping up the suitcase. “What do you mean?”

“Like, how are you feeling about leaving tomorrow?”

“Uh,” she said, grimacing. “I’ve been feeling like I might wanna throw up all day.”

“Me, too.”

“Are we crazy?” Stevie asked. “I sort of feel like I’m batshit crazy to be doing this, but everyone is just like ‘Bon voyage’ so I feel like I should be sure about this, but I’m not. I don’t even know where Cambridge is. I haven’t even had a chance to look at a map. Is it in the middle or something?”

“Sort of,” Bunny said. “It’s more in the southeast part, north of London.”

“Oh. Cool. Southeast.”

It got awkward then, Bunny feeling a little thrown off by it since this hadn’t really happened to them to this degree before. She sat back on the floor.

“I did—”

“I’m sure—” Stevie said at the same time.

“Go ahead,” Bunny said.

“You first,” Stevie said at the same time.

Bunny frowned.

“Fuck!” Stevie said.

Bunny raised her eyebrows, waiting.

“No, you,” Stevie said.

“I did a ton of research,” Bunny said. “I can tell you everything I learned while we’re on our long-ass flight over the ocean.”

“I’m glad you managed to get us seats together,” Stevie said.

“What were you going to say before?”

“Oh.” Stevie met her eyes. “I said I wasn’t sure of anything, but I’m sure about you, Bunny. Everything else feels like a whirlwind, but you’re here in the center of it with me.”

Bunny leaned forward to kiss her, and then they were all over each other, pushing the suitcase out of the way, Bunny straddling Stevie’s lap and tackling her flat to the floor, devouring her as if this was their last time.

“Wait,” Stevie said. “Slow down.”

Bunny pulled back, breathing hard. “Why?”

“We can’t fuck away our feelings every time.” Stevie smiled ruefully. “We have to talk about it, too. That’s the advice my mom gave me. She said we had to make sure to keep talking.”

“Ugh. Okay,” Bunny said, not looking forward to more awkwardness to feed her inner doubt monster.

“I mean, we don’t have to drag out every nuance of worry and fear,” Stevie said, after a moment. “I guess I just didn’t want to brush it under the rug, either.”

“Fair enough,” Bunny said, rolling off of her.

“Hey,” Stevie said. “Let’s at least clear the floor and get the air mattress back down, okay? It’ll be more comfy that way.”

Bunny wrinkled her nose and dragged her suitcase over to where Stevie’s was already waiting by the door.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she said, digging her toothbrush out of her carry on bag. “We should go to bed soon.”

Stevie sighed, feeling like she might not have handled that very well. Talking had never been her strong suit, anyway, and she definitely wasn’t used to doing it for the sake of a serious relationship. She got her own little toiletries bag out of her backpack and got the mattress all set up while waiting for Bunny to get back.

“Nat’s in there now, you’ll have to wait,” Bunny said as she came back into the room.

“Okay,” Stevie said. She was sort of just standing there, at a loss, watching Bunny trying to get her carry on to balance on top of her suitcase and finally giving up and putting it on the floor.

“Thanks for getting the mattress set up,” Bunny said, still not meeting her eyes.

“Hey, I’m sorry about what I said. If you’re mad.”

“Damn it, don’t apologize, Stevie,” Bunny said, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re totally right and I’m just being a grump.”

“It’s okay.”

“Seriously, though,” Bunny said, meeting Stevie’s eyes. “I think it’s a good idea to keep the lines of communication open. But right now it feels like I just need to accept that I’m really fucking nervous and there’s nothing I can do about it, you know?”

“Yeah,” Stevie said.

“That romantic thing you said about being at the center with me really helped, though.”

“Did it?”

“I mean, it distracted me at least,” Bunny said, laughing. “So I’m good, I think. But is there anything else you need to talk about?”

Stevie took a moment to really check in. “I don’t think so,” she said. “I think I just needed to say that. To make sure we were on the same page. It helps me feel a little less freaked out.”

“We’re definitely on the same page,” Bunny said softly, stepping in close and sliding her arms around Stevie’s waist.

They kissed slowly this time, Bunny’s movements gentle as she led them down to the air mattress. They smiled at each other as it buckled in the middle like it always did. And then Stevie plucked at the hem of Bunny’s shirt, meeting her eyes to make sure it was okay. She undressed her slowly, leaving kisses on one bare shoulder, on one bare nipple, on the soft slope of her stomach, in the center of one trembling thigh. She fumbled for a second with the shoelaces on Bunny’s pink Chucks, Bunny reaching down to help so Stevie could get rid of the shoes and socks, then the jeans, then the underwear.

Bunny’s chest was heaving now. Stevie kissed her for another long moment, then stood up, running one hand up her stomach, lifting her shirt to show off her abs.

Bunny grinned, her eyebrows lifting. Stevie raised her arms, pulling the shirt over her head and throwing it behind her. Bunny’s eyes were drinking her in hungrily now. She gripped the elastic bands of her doubled-up sports bra situation, peeling each layer slowly, appreciating the way it made Bunny’s breath hitch in answer.

She unzipped her fly next, letting her jeans drop, revealing the _X-Men_ boxer briefs that she knew were Bunny’s favorite. Bunny bit her lower lip, sliding a hand down to touch herself, and Stevie decided to keep the underwear on and let Bunny deal with it.

It was a good choice, because as soon as she laid down, Bunny’s hands were running all over her, grabbing her ass. Stevie tasted the curve of her neck, licking down to bite Bunny’s shoulder. Bunny found her mouth and kissed her, making those sweet little noises that she loved so much.

She let Bunny push the underwear down to her knees, kicking it away, surrendering easily as they got close again, their legs tangling together. She started to slide down but stopped at the feel of hands gripping her upper arms.

"No," Bunny said. "Stay up here with me."

So she did, her breath going hard and fast as Bunny shifted them so they were lying on their sides, facing each other, the flat of one palm tracing the curve of Stevie’s hip, sliding down to the vee between her legs.

“Let me in?” Bunny whispered, and Stevie opened her thighs, draping her leg up over Bunny’s hip.

Bunny shuddered as her fingers slid over coarse hair and into the warm wetness that felt like silk underneath her fingers.

"Bunny," Stevie sighed, the look in her eyes so fervent that Bunny felt a flush of heat course through her entire body in response.

"I want to make you feel good,” she said, crooking her wrist to dip in deep.

“Ohhh,” Stevie said, arching toward her, and she ground her palm flat against her, licking into Stevie’s mouth, beginning to move.

It was fucking glorious. The feel of Stevie’s hips stuttering to the rhythm she was setting, the warmth dripping against her palm. She pressed her lips to Stevie’s over and over again, swallowing down all her little whimpers and groans of pleasure, answering twinges flashing through her in response. She didn't realize she was talking until Stevie answered her.

"Yes," she gasped. "It feels so good, Bun. So good."

Stevie’s ribs pressed almost painfully into Bunny’s bicep as she cradled her close, imagining the English countryside, making love in their new flat, in their own bed, rows and rows and rows of books and records lining the walls, some sultry tune spinning on the turntable. She let all of those dreams funnel through her, promises pouring forth from her lips, her fingers, her body, until Stevie was writhing and crying out in her arms. She drank in the sound, taking it right from Stevie’s lips as she panted into her mouth.

Afterward, they both rolled onto their backs, still pressed right up against each other. Stevie could feel Bunny’s warmth all along her body. She turned, pushing Bunny back against the bed, kissing her eyelids, savaging her lips, pressing her body and mouth to all the right places until she'd worked her way down.

Bunny spread her legs for her, and Stevie took her time, rubbing her face all along the velvet smoothness of Bunny’s inner thighs, kissing and sucking the tender skin, painting lines of desire with her fingers. She traced the outer edges of Bunny’s cunt with her mouth, hair tickling her lips. She paused, and Bunny bucked up into her face.

“Hey,” Stevie said, moving both hands to Bunny’s hips and pinning her down, punishing her with a teasing drag of her tongue along one wet edge of her hole, and then the other, ignoring her clit completely.

“Stevie!” Bunny cried, greedy, greedy, greedy, and Stevie loved it. It made her feel like she was doing something right, and it drowned out all those thoughts that were telling her she was going to mess this up. That she was going to hate England. That England was going to hate her. That Bunny was going to get tired of her. That she was going to ruin everything. None of that mattered when she was here, drinking in Bunny’s sweetness.

“I love you, Bun Bun,” she said, then kissed her clit, tonguing over the sensitive mound, tasting the salt of her, moving one hand down to enter her, soft walls taking her in eagerly, making her feel wanted, making her feel needed.

“Love you, too,” Bunny answered, between gasps and moans.

Stevie felt her coming even before Bunny’s sounds changed, her hips canting up, legs spreading wider, wave upon wave building up inside of her so that Stevie, with her eyes closed, could almost see the orange warmth of it, the shivering pink, the edges of deep, velvet blue that flashed through when Bunny cried out, shaking apart underneath her mouth and around her hand.

Stevie finished working her through it, and then rested the side of her face on Bunny’s hip, moaning appreciatively as Bunny ran a hand through her hair, rubbing the back of her neck gently.

“Don’t be afraid, Stevie,” she said, her voice fierce and insistent.

Stevie raised her head, overcome by the sight of Bunny like this — transformed and unbound, a being of terrible beauty and strength. She looked as if she could make the world anew, the long lines and soft curves her body burning sweet underneath Stevie’s reverent touch.

“I’m not afraid,” she said, because how could she be when Bunny was by her side? She pressed kisses along the line of Bunny’s hipbone, then crawled up to kiss her mouth. “My wild one,” she whispered, the words falling from her lips like a prayer.

A little while later, they both dragged themselves to the bathroom to wash up for bed, feeling very domestic as they watched each other brush their teeth in the mirror. Stevie kissed Bunny goodnight with her minty fresh breath and they curled up together on their temporary bed in their temporary room in their temporary home.

Tomorrow, there would be more to face. More worries, more excitement, more of everything that life had to offer. There would be promises of permanence and consequences of change, both of which still lingered just beyond their understanding. There would be the world, moving forever around them, and the chance to grow together, and the risk of growing apart. There would be so much more to learn, to do, to become, to question, but for now they were content to rest, answering the sweet call of sleep, visions of the future weaving quietly through their dreams.


	16. Epilogue – I’m Coming Out (Diana Ross)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? Bunny uses ze/hir/hirs pronouns now. You will find out more about that in the epilogue, but I thought it best to give a little heads up.
> 
> Pronunciation Guide: ze = zee, hir(s) = here(s), hirself = hereself
> 
> Some things to note: This story takes place in the year 1990. The term “non-binary” did not exist yet, and even the term “genderqueer” wasn’t being used widely until the mid- to late-90s. Additionally, the singular pronouns they/them/theirs had not come back into common usage yet. It seems one of the most popular sets of gender neutral pronouns at the time were ze/hir/hirs, which is why Bunny uses them.
> 
> Sources: [Genderqueer History](https://genderqueerid.com/gqhistory), [English neutral pronouns - History of Ze](https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/English_neutral_pronouns#Ze)
> 
> _Disclaimer: I, the author, am a non-binary trans lesbian, and drew heavily on my own experiences and perceptions of being non-binary, as well as those of my non-binary friends, to inform this part of the story. Please remember that this take on gender is not intended to reflect the opinions/lived experiences/gender identities/ideas/feelings of the non-binary/trans/lesbian community as a whole!_

Stevie watched out the window as the plane banked, circling closer to the airport. The world looked fake, lying there below, toy cars moving along toy roads, industrial buildings with their parking lots and flat, boring roofs.

“I wanna see,” Bunny said and leaned across Stevie to peek out the window, too.

It felt strange, seeing the familiar lines of their hometown unfolding below, and it almost felt like she had never left. The reality of England, of her year with Bunny, seemed to be merging with everything she had left behind. But she was glad to see it. Glad and super nervous. She never thought she would ever want to see this place again, but there was something about coming to visit a place you thought you’d never leave that was infinitely satisfying.

England hadn’t always been kind to her. Bunny hadn’t always been kind to her, either, but neither had Stevie always been kind to Bunny. They were both stubborn, with the tendency to get a little mean when under stress. And pretending to be a grown up was very stressful. Stevie had almost given up several times. That was one good thing about not having very much money to go around — it kept her from making rash decisions like buying a plane ticket back to the States. But every time the dust had settled, after the tearful apologies had been made and the forgiveness had been consummated, Stevie never regretted staying. She and Bunny worked so much better when they were together than when they were apart. It was something she hoped they would both eventually be able to remember _before_ the freaking out part happened.

“I think I can see Tony’s van on the highway down there,” Bunny said, pushing hir hair out of hir eyes to give Stevie a mischievous look.

Ze had cut hir hair in their little bathroom not three days before they were due to fly out from London, a messy bob with thick bangs that looked fantastic. Stevie wanted to kiss hir, so she did, leaning forward to catch the corner of Bunny’s mouth.

The person in the aisle seat shot them a look, cleared his throat, and lifted his newspaper closer to his face.

“Mmm,” Bunny said, lifting the armrest between them and turning further in hir seat so ze could kiss Stevie properly.

The aisle seat guy harrumphed loudly.

“Look, do you see Tony’s van?” Bunny asked, their faces still close.

Stevie looked out the window. “Oh yeah,” she mused. “Totally. There it is right there, swerving across three lanes of traffic with no blinker.” Bunny giggled at that, and Stevie could feel the nervous anticipation reverberating between them. “Everyone’s piled in there. Sam, Riley, Nat, and Sharon. And my mom and Melina. Also, my mom’s yelling at Tony to turn down the music because she can’t hear herself think. Oh, and Melina’s reminding her that she did suggest they drive separately...”

They were near the back of the plane, so when it landed there was a long wait for the people in front of them to wrestle their luggage into submission and begin the process of exiting. Stevie tapped her foot impatiently, choosing to stand even though she was too tall. She had to bend awkwardly over Bunny while ze watched the people around them from hir seat, shooting Stevie secret looks of shared amusement when someone did something particularly obnoxious.

Finally, finally, they were free of the damn metal tube and walking down the mobile hallway toward the airport proper. Stevie took a deep breath before the final turn, the first glimpse of the waiting area coming into view, and then Bunny was pulling her back with a clammy hand on her wrist. She apologized to the stampeding herd of people bumping and streaming around them, wincing as someone ran over her foot with a rolling suitcase.

“I want to tell them now,” Bunny said, once they reached the relative safety of the wall. “I can’t wait.”

“Bun...” Stevie said. “We said we were gonna do it later, after we get over the jet lag.”

Bunny looked up at her, pleading. “Please, Stevie. I’m so nervous. I don’t know how long I can hold out. Besides, these are literally the only people I feel remotely excited to tell. Most everyone else has made it such a damn chore.”

“All the more reason to wait and really savor the moment.”

“I suppose,” Bunny said doubtfully.

Stevie slid her backpack off her shoulder and put it down between her feet.

“You seriously want to come out in the middle of the airport?”

“Why not?” Bunny asked. “Airports are places of transition. It’s the perfect setting.”

Stevie could see how much this meant to hir. They both had been carrying this secret for weeks. Maybe it was better just to get it over with and let the chips fall where they may.

“Okay, hunny Bunny,” she said, cupping Bunny’s sweet face in her hands. “Let’s do it now.”

When they rounded the corner, it was impossible to miss their welcoming committee, owing to the giant banner that was taking up half of the waiting area. _Welcome Home, Bun-Bun and Stevie-o!!!!!!!_ it said in completely unsubtle rainbow letters, but then again, it was June, so she couldn’t be too surprised. Everyone was lined up behind it. Sam, Riley, Tony, Nat, Sharon, her mom, Aunt Melina, and even Yelena, who they hadn’t known would be back in town at the same time.

Bunny rushed up to them. “We have to tell you something!” ze blurted out before anyone could speak. Immediately afterwards, ze froze, half-turning like ze might be thinking about sprinting in the other direction, hir eyes wide as ze met Stevie’s gaze.

“Hi, everyone,” Stevie said, her heart clenching in her chest. She slid a reassuring arm around Bunny’s shoulders.

Nat raised an eyebrow. Sam gave Stevie a curious look. Riley looked cautiously excited. Her mom’s expression was a mash up of concern and amusement. Sharon’s smile was faltering. Tony opened and closed his mouth soundlessly a couple of times. Melina was holding herself still and alert. Yelena frowned.

“Is everything okay?” Melina asked, as the silence drew out between them.

“It’s not bad news,” Stevie said, pulling Bunny in tighter. “We’re just really nervous.”

Bunny leaned in against her. “Is it okay if I say it now?” ze asked.

“Go ahead.”

“I’m gender non-conforming,” Bunny said, sounding breathless. “My pronouns are ze, hir, and hirs.”

“And I’m gender non-conforming, too,” Stevie said. “But I’m still using she, her, and hers pronouns.”

There was a long moment of stunned silence.

“Neither one of us feels like we’re actually ‘women,’” Stevie added, feeling intensely awkward but guessing that they probably needed a little more information. “Whatever that means. We’re still kinda figuring it all out. But we’re not ‘men,’ either. Personally, I sorta feel in between.”

“I’m, like, way over there off the whole damn gender scale,” Bunny said, pointing off into the distance. “That’s why the gender neutral pronouns. Look, I have a pin on my vest, to help you remember.”

“Okay, so, that’s a thing?” Tony asked. “That’s, like, a whole thing?” He looked like he’d just discovered gravity, or rather, like gravity had just discovered him.

“Yeah,” Stevie said. “It’s not a new thing, but obviously mainstream culture doesn’t talk about it in any kind of helpful way. There’s lots of names for people who don’t fit into binary gender norms, but most of them we didn’t choose for ourselves, so for now we just settled on saying we don’t conform to gender.”

Most everyone else either looked like they’d been struck by the same kind of lightning as Tony, or moderately confused, which was to be expected. Bunny bore the brunt of the confusion back in England, being the one with the gender neutral pronouns, but Stevie had had her share of uncomfortable experiences, too. Like always, she was glad to have Bunny by her side for this journey, though she was sure that everyone else was on their side, too, even if they didn’t quite understand yet.

This was their family, after all. The people that loved them the most. It might take them a while to understand, which was fair. One didn’t unravel any kind of normative social programming in a day. It had taken her and Bunny months of talking about gender to even begin to accept that they both had more facets of their true selves to uncover, and they were still trying to figure out the best way to embody that in their lives.

The silence dragged on a little bit longer, and then Stevie’s mom smiled, bright and excited.

“I’m so proud of you two, my brave girls! Shit, sorry, I mean my brave...uh...darlings!”

And then the dam broke, everyone rushing in around them, chattering excitedly. Stevie met Bunny’s eyes across the wave of hugs and kisses, grinning wide, and Bunny grinned right back, looking immensely relieved.

* * *

Stevie could barely contain her excitement at being over at Natasha’s house again, getting ready for Pride just like they all had a year ago. This time, though, Yelena was here, too, and her mom, and Rhodey had come home from MIT. And Tony was too busy fawning over him to make time for anyone else, basically.

Stevie could relate. That’s what she had wanted to do with Bunny a year ago, but their imminent separation had cast a shadow over everything they did together. Now, though, she had no reason to hold back, sitting next to Bunny and acting as hir assistant as ze did Nat’s makeup, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. The anniversary of their first meeting had just passed a couple of weeks ago, and Stevie was still riding high on that.

“Hey, can you get me the eyelash glue and the little brush?” Bunny asked, looking over at her and batting hir eyelashes, which were naturally gorgeous all on their own. But then again, Stevie was a pretty biased judge when it came to things like that. She leaned over to fetch the glue and brush from the top of Bunny’s old makeup case, where they had been in easy reach of both of them.

“Ugh, you two are nauseating,” Nat said, as Stevie handed both things to Bunny with a happy little smile.

“You’re one to talk,” Bunny said, carefully applying glue to a strip of black glitter lashes. “Where’s your girlfriend right now?”

Natasha pressed her lips together. “No comment.”

Stevie lifted her eyebrows, and almost as if on cue, they heard the front door opening, Sharon walking in with a big box of cookies from Natasha’s favorite Italian bakery.

“Hey, babe, they didn’t have the cookies with the candied cherry on top, so I got you more of the almond horns.”

“Yessss, your girlfriend is the best,” Yelena said, dropping her comic book onto the floor and rushing over.

“What’s this I hear about almond horns?” Rhodey asked, extracting himself from where he’d been going through the pile of glamorous clothes that Sharon had brought from the vintage shop.

“I’m gonna buy you that entire bakery, honeybear,” Tony called out from his upside down perch on the couch.

“Sounds good, Tones,” Rhodey said, grinning over at him. “You do that.”

Sam scoffed. “I mean, he _would_ do that. Don’t encourage him.”

“I want a cookie,” Riley said.

“They’re for later,” Sharon said, shooing everyone away even as she was opening the box and taking out a single almond horn to offer to Natasha. “Except for you.”

“Your girlfriend is the worst,” Yelena said.

Bunny smirked at Natasha. “You were saying?”

“Shut it,” Natasha said, stuffing the entire cookie into her mouth at once.

* * *

The Pride March seemed much bigger this year, and Stevie’s eyes roved over the crowd, trying to take it all in. They had just begun to march, streaming out onto the street, signs held high. There were even more people lining the sidewalks this year, holding their own signs of support and waving as the marchers walked past.

She almost missed him in the tumult, but even as her eyes passed over him, she felt the flicker of recognition. She looked again, and their eyes met, the impact of it making her stop in her tracks, Bunny turning to give her a questioning look.

Stevie was walking over to him before she realized what she was doing, fists clenched at her sides.

“Where are you going?” Bunny asked at first, weaving through the crowd to follow her. Then, “Stevie, wait.”

“Hello again,” Mr. Barnes said mildly, as she walked up, but there was a wary look in his eyes.

 _Give me one reason why I shouldn’t punch your lights out right now_ , she wanted to say. But she knew that he had been getting updates about Bunny from her mom for months now, and her mom had sworn that he actually wasn’t that bad of a guy, once you got to know him.

“I never properly introduced myself,” he said. “I’m sorry for that. I’m George Barnes. Bunny’s dad.”

Stevie lifted her chin, looking him over, but she could feel Bunny standing next to her, watching and waiting to see what she’d do. She couldn’t help remembering how he’d treated her the last time she’d seen him, but there was no denying that he was behaving differently now, meeting her gaze like he’d finally realized she was a real human being. And she had promised everyone — her mom, Melina, and Bunny — that she would give him a chance if Bunny decided to see him. She couldn’t jeopardize that for hir just because she was still pissed at the guy.

“Stephanie Rogers,” she said, shaking his hand as firmly as she could. “But everyone calls me Stevie.”

“You’ve got a nice grip, Stevie,” he said, shaking out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you officially. And thank you for everything you did for my daughter when I, uh, when I didn’t know how to be there for her.”

Stevie resisted the urge to curl her lip scornfully, resorting to giving him what probably amounted to a grimace, instead.

“Bunny uses gender-neutral pronouns now, George. It’s not her, it’s _hir_. Or did you not see the pin ze’s wearing?”

“Uh,” Bunny’s dad said, looking extremely confused.

“Dad,” Bunny said, hir voice shaking. “It’s fine. We can talk about that later. But first, what are you doing here?”

“Supporting the gay and lesbian community,” he said, looking humble. “Better late than never, right?”

* * *

Bunny kept looking over at hir dad as he sat in Sarah Rogers’ living room, talking to her as if they had been friends for years. They had invited him over for dinner, and ze and Stevie had offered to make a new recipe they’d learned in England. It was absolutely surreal to see hir dad juxtaposed against the backdrop of this apartment. Yesterday had been even weirder, seeing him march alongside the gayest group of humans he had probably ever encountered in his entire life. He had looked a little self-conscious about it, sure, but not nearly as judgmental as ze would have expected. Sarah and Melina must have made quite an impact on him.

“Are you gonna talk to him tonight?” Stevie asked, sniffling and blinking through tears as she worked on chopping up an onion.

Before hir dad had left the march yesterday, they’d talked about hir pronouns, and then he’d asked if they could find some more time to talk. Ze had said yes without thinking much about what else he might want to say. Then Sarah had suggested inviting him to dinner. It was clear that the ball was in hir court now, and that he was waiting to let hir decide if and when they should talk.

“I don’t know,” ze said, shifting closer so their conversation wouldn’t be overheard in the living room. “I guess I’ll see how dinner goes.”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do,” Stevie murmured. “Including kicking his ass, if you want me to.”

Bunny snorted. “Okay, tough guy. But that won’t be necessary. He’s not going to go off on me like he used to, I don’t think.”

“My brave Bunny hunny. Do you want me to stay with you if you decide to do it?”

“Aw, that’s sweet of you to offer, Stevie,” ze said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “But I think I need to do this alone. It’s just one of those life things. You know what I mean?”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

Dinner went as well as could have been expected, Sarah doing most of the work to hold up the conversation with hir dad. Bunny could tell Stevie was trying, too, but she wasn’t much of a talker when it came to people she didn’t know well, and Bunny was feeling too nervous to really track the conversation.

They had ice cream for dessert, and then hir dad made an offer to wash the dishes, which Sarah promptly declined. That left them with nothing else to do but stare at each other around the table. Hir dad cleared his throat.

“Well, I suppose I ought to be going...”

Bunny took a deep breath, realizing ze absolutely didn’t want to drag this out any longer.

“Do you wanna talk still, Dad?”

He looked surprised at that, and grateful. “Yes, Bunny. Whenever you’re ready.”

“Now,” ze said. “If that’s okay.”

“That’s fine with me,” he said, looking over at Sarah and Stevie.

“Of course,” Sarah said, rising from her chair. “Stevie and I will go rent some videos for tonight, how about that?”

“That sounds good,” Bunny said.

“Take your time,” Stevie said, pushing back from the table. “Mom and I can never decide on what movies to get, so we’re gonna take forever.” She paused to drop a hand to hir shoulder, squeezing gently. Bunny smiled up at her, covering her hand with hir own.

It was awkwardly silent as they waited for Stevie and her mom to get ready to go, and Bunny settled on staring down at the dinner table. When the front door closed behind them, ze finally steeled hirself to look up at hir dad, feeling nervous as hell as ze met his eyes. It was amazing what a difference a year could make. There was more gray in his hair, more wrinkles around his eyes, a deep sadness there ze didn’t remember ever seeing before.

“Hey, Dad,” ze said, glad that hir voice was staying level.

“Hey, kid,” he replied.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

He blew out a heavy breath, slouching back in his chair. “Oh, hell. I don’t even know where to start.”

Bunny smiled. “Yeah, that happens to me a lot, too. Maybe start at the beginning?”

“Good idea.” He cleared his throat. “All right. Well. I ended up in the drunk tank, that night you left. Went out looking for you, but you were long gone.”

Bunny blinked, swallowing hard. That night felt like it had just happened yesterday, and also like it had happened decades ago, in another life.

“Yelena came and picked me up from Papa Bear’s,” ze said.

“Melina told me. I’m glad they were all there for you.”

Ze felt like ze should apologize for how things had gone down, for never having spoken to him again until now, but he had to go first. That was the least that he could do.

“You look happy,” he said.

“I am,” ze replied, looking down at hir hands. Ze heard him take another deep breath.

“And Cambridge? How’s school?”

“It’s good, Dad. I’m learning a lot.”

“That’s good, that’s good.” He cleared his throat. “I, uh, I’ve been talking to Sarah and Melina a lot these last few months. So I’ve been learning a lot, too.”

Bunny swallowed hard. “Yeah, I heard about that.”

“They call you once a week on Sundays, just like clockwork, they said.”

“That’s right.”

Hir dad sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This, uh, this gender thing is sort of a curveball, though, so you’ve gotta be patient with me, Bunny. I promise I will try as hard as I can to understand it. And to use the new pronouns.”

“Okay,” Bunny said, hir voice wobbling.

He reached out then stopped himself at the last minute.

“I’m sorry for everything, kid. I’m sorry for not being there in the way you needed me to be. I’m glad you had Sarah and Melina to stand in for me, but it should have been me the whole time.”

“Dad...” Bunny said, the word almost forced out by the weight of hir emotions.

“I’m proud of you, kiddo. Did you know that?”

Bunny felt the tears prickling at the back of hir eyes now. “Really?”

“Of course. And Mom would be proud of you, too,” he added.

Bunny tried hir best to hold it in, but the tears were skipping down hir cheeks now. Ze grabbed a handful of napkins from the caddy on the table and pressed them against hir face.

“I should have told you that a long time ago,” he said. “I was too busy being worried to actually notice that you were doing just fine. More than fine, actually. Had my damn head shoved too far up my ass to see what a wonderful human being you had become. Cambridge is lucky to have you.” He sighed. “Stevie is lucky to have you, too. And she better damn realize it.”

“She does,” Bunny said.

“Life just isn’t the same without you, Bun,” he said, his voice breaking. “You were my little drop of sunshine, and then you were gone, just like that. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t regretted what I did to make that happen.”

Bunny buried hir face in hir hands, willing hirself not to break down. They stayed like that for a moment, Bunny’s head bowed low over the table. Ze broke into a fresh wave of tears at the feel of hir dad shifting closer so he could pet the top of hir head with his free hand.

“I’ve missed you, kid.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Dad,” ze said, crying openly now. Ze wiped hir face with the wad of napkins before looking up at him. “I’m sorry for leaving like I did. And for not talking to you sooner.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he said, taking one of hir hands and squeezing gently. “I understand why you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“But I did,” ze said. “There’s so much I’ve wanted to talk to you about.”

“Well, maybe we can start catching up now.”

“And maybe we can start having Sunday night calls, too? When I go back to England?”

“Of course. Anything you want.”

“An’ maybe you could visit sometime, too?”

“I’d love that, Bunny.”

“You should see some of the older cars there, Dad. They’re all cute and little. I’ve been itching to get under the hood of one of ‘em to see how it ticks.”

“Well, then, let’s do that together when I visit,” he said, smiling.

* * *

That weekend, they had a barbeque at Nat’s house, and Bunny’s dad was invited, too. It seemed he was making a real effort to get to know everyone. He joked around with Sarah and Melina, chatted with Rhodey and Tony about MIT, asked Sam all about Yale, traded magic tricks with Yelena, and argued with Riley and Sharon about baseball. He made a special effort to talk to Stevie, and even seemed to be tolerating Natasha well enough to help her manage the grill.

When they all sat down to eat, Bunny looked around the table at all the people ze had long considered to be hir true family, still getting used to seeing hir dad among them. Stevie sat next to hir, of course, and Bunny caught him watching the two of them, looking fond and maybe just a little bit sad. He smiled when Stevie laughed loudly at something, and Bunny met his eyes, smiling right back, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was on his way to becoming a part of hir true family, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for joining me on this journey. And special thanks again to [brideofquiet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brideofquiet/pseuds/brideofquiet) for the gorgeous banners and the amazing podfic (with its nostalgia-inducing cassette tape sound effects) that brought this story to vibrant life.
> 
> On a bit of a more personal note, I want to share a story with you, in case it might come in handy to someone else one day...
> 
> I came out of the closet at 30 years old and left a 10-year relationship/marriage at the same time. My ex-husband and I met and bonded over 70s classic rock and heavy metal, the result being that since my divorce, I haven't really been able to listen to any of my old favorites without thinking of him. He wasn't a bad guy, and it wasn't a horrible relationship, it was just too painful for me given my experiences with living in the closet. 
> 
> Earlier this year, by some beautiful alignment of the stars and the insistence of my Muse, a fuzzy version of this story started developing in my mind, but it wasn't going anywhere fast. Then, I decided to participate in (Not) Another Stucky Big Bang 2020 and shit got real. The story has morphed a lot since I first started writing it, and it turns out that during the process, I successfully rewired my brain. It wasn't my goal when I set out to write this thing, but now when I listen to The Runaways, or Joan Jett, or Thin Lizzy, or Girlschool, or UFO, I think of Stevie and Bunny instead of my past relationship, and it's fucking FANTASTIC. It is a fucking RELIEF. 
> 
> And that, my friends, I am so grateful to say, is one of the powers of storytelling. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://caoticaw.tumblr.com)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] For Those Who Love to Live](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062653) by [brideofquiet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brideofquiet/pseuds/brideofquiet)




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